Pain dulls, it doesn't fully extinguish, to awaken, revive, sharpen the beat and heat again, I would go back to an old question of yours about what awakens you in the first place, with out the lover. Nurture your own heart, make it beat with life on its own, the pain leaves with your own love finding its place in the world again, in you and in friends. But to feel the heat really high in love, to be able to experience the great experience of loving and being loved, we can only wait and keep the love we do have fully turned on, pouring through (on ) oneself and to the world, ..
While I don't know if this you we speak of- to anyone with The Pain..
I would remove the blockages of pain as soon as possible, hurt = fear, no fear, no pain, less fear, more forgiveness, no resentment.
I see someone I love, from time to time, actually more than just this one, but sadly a few family members as well. Sometimes it was all sadly just from wanting what I had and not being able to have it. I love them anyway, but rejection is so easily a pain. The message that you could be kicked out of the tribe, left to your own, no more loyalty,and the more one on one message - hope you live, but you're left to die and goodbye, is the primitive, fundamental response to rejection. We feel we could die and this person wouldn't care, it takes a tribe to survive this world, those ostracized or left behind must find a new group or die -primitively speaking. Also the fear of not getting The Dream, the dream of loving and being loved one has just touched, felt, lived, experienced. This no longer is a dream one can touch anymore, this can translate to fear if The Dream is held too high, higher than the self and the others in this world. That fear , the primitive and the modern, This is pain.
We may not get the dream, but we can experience great blessings and joy.
Recognize it as the fear it is and remember how many billions of human souls are in this world and start connecting to friends only, with out the hope the flame, but to enjoy the flame of friendship. Some have,...Many have lived on with out the Flame any longer in their lives and experience great joy or actualization, or full realization, or enlightenment, or fulfillment.............and on.......Perhaps there is this flame which in the end surprises us to burn as greatly as The Lover Flame.
I think of Marvin Gaye and the joy he brings me as heart broken as he was.