HOW do I break the pattern of chronic singlehood. I am 38! I need advice from mature people.?

I am 38 and a female. Everything in my life has always gone great EXCEPT my love life. The longest relationship I've had is 3 months...if you can call that a relationship. Some background about me: I had a messed up childhood and was mentally/emotionally abused. Both parents had multiple marriages and... show more I am 38 and a female. Everything in my life has always gone great EXCEPT my love life. The longest relationship I've had is 3 months...if you can call that a relationship.

Some background about me: I had a messed up childhood and was mentally/emotionally abused. Both parents had multiple marriages and neglected me. blah blah blah. I had an effed up view of relationships and as a result never really had one. I developed defense mechanisms and never let anyone love me or get close to me.

I always seem to lose the guy after one month. Never had I had a relationship over 3 months.

I don't know what I do...they just seem to lose interest in me. I am not high drama or needy. I am independent and self efficient. I am goal oriented and attractive (not gorgeous or stunning...just a nice looking girl next door).

However, I am 38 and want to have a family and marriage. I am sure not on the path to that at this rate. I've had so many short term relationshps that it is ridiculous. I am sad, lonely, frustrated, and fed up.

What do I do to have a relationship? How do relationships begin? How do you sustain it?
14 answers 14