How can I be a stay at home mom?

My husband and I are very serious and determined for me to be a stay at home mom. My mother raised me and my 5 other siblings as a homemaker and my dad worked full time as a minister of a small church. We by no means had a lot of money but we werent poor either. His mother worked from home managing the apartments his family owns.

Here is our situation. He does not want me to work outside the home while we have a little one. We do not want to put our child in daycare. We do not want to leave our child with a baby sitter or family.

My husband works as a contractor as a security guard for a federal military installation. He has been doing this for 5 years now. He is former Air Force. He makes about $32,000 a year doing this. This is his only source of income. It's a steady job but he recently had back surgery (microdiscectomy) and is finding it painful to wear a ballistic vest, heavy gear, and stand for 9 hours a day. The elements where we live is pretty rough during the winter (cold sometimes freezing) and it's HOT and HUMID (95 degrees) during the summer. The hours are crap and he literally works from 3:45 am till 2:00 PM. He is/has been ready to find a new job/career.

I work full time for a computer training company. I am an office manager and make $30,000 a year. So far my income has really helped us. We do not struggle or stress about finances. We pay all of our bills and have been very blessed to have money left over each month. Since we were married in Febuary I have managed to put $2,000 in savings (which may not seem like much but it's helping and continuing to grow little by little). We are planning on me cont. to work until my due date when I will go on unpaid maternity leave and will not return to work. I continue to work now for the health benefits as my pregnancy was labeled pre existing on my husbands plan.

My husband is currently checking into going back ti school and becoming a physical therapy assistant which would pay about $42,000 a year. He has a little less than a a year of classes and he would be done. The job would offer much better benefits and and better working hours. He is eligible for the GI BILL which would pay for ALL of his school and books as well as about an extra $1,000 a month. He will need to also work (to make the rest of our bills, groceries, gas, baby stuff, etc.) I just worry about how THIS is going to work with me staying at home. His parents do own apartments (they are LOADED) and I think he is going to see if they can in any way help. He feels like the security work is a trap and he needs to be doing something more stable to provide for our family. I think the school idea is great and the GI Bill is at an all time great offer.

I would like to learn to do something from home to bring in extra income. What can I do? I've thought of learning soy candle making and selling candles. What about possible childcare from my home? We live in a VERY nice house. I am not opposed to either of those options.

Is there any other ideas/options you all can throw my way? Opinions/ Etc. are greatly appreciated. I will choose a best answer. Im just looking for direction..

Help and THANKS!!!


I am 18 weeks pregnant due on Halloween!

7 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    wow, Im due about 2 weeks before you!! My husband and I are going through a similar situation. He is going back to school for accounting and working full time in a factory. His company is very stable and are actually hiring on a regular basis to keep up with all of the work that they have. I stay home to run the household, start an online business (I make products to sell) and take care of our soon-to-be baby. It's not easy and sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get what we need instead of what we want. My husband carries my insurance through his company so the baby and I will be well taken care of when it comes to our medical stuff. Staying home can actually save you a TON of money when you have a baby. You wont have to pay for daycare, gas to work and back, etc. While you're home, you can spend more time shopping sales and clipping coupons (every cent adds up!!) If you find that you are really broke, you can get good food discounts through (you dont have to qualify for this program). We do a lot of shopping at aldis and walmart to cut costs and we shop with a list to avoid impulse buys. When you stay home, you have more time to cook meals from scratch instead of going out to eat. Eating at home is cheaper by a long shot! When we have our baby, we will be using old fashioned flat-fold cloth diapers and I'll be breast feeding and making our own baby food to save on cash (and it's good for baby!). I've been staying home since the end of january and there are some days that I hate it. I -do- get tired of hanging out with my cats all day. I do miss people and there are some times that I feel like Im losing my mind but it allows you to have a little more time for yourself (like taking walks in the morning) and I feel like I'm helping my husband by taking care of making sure bills are paid, laundry is washed and not piled up for him to have to do after long day of work. We have more time for each other, which is also really nice. So, as far as your extra bit of income goes, check out online places like etsy or weekend craft shows in your town. I just started up a store on etsy. Look around the internet to get ideas of what kinds of things you would enjoy making that would also sell well. Im a leather worker/costume designer so I make a lot of leather masquerade masks, renaissance, elizabethan costumes, corsets and that kind of thing. Even if I only sell one thing in a month, that little bit of extra cash REALLY helps on the grocery bill. Etsy is a great place to start because it's free to set up and they have affordable fees. The store set-up is nice and you can sell to customers all over the world. a LOT of stay at home moms have etsy shops. Since you're going to be a new mommy, if you're handy with a needle, you can make baby stuff to sell. Home made bath products are very fun to make also and are popular sellers at craft shows and festivals. Experiment with your different talents and see what you like. Check out sites like for coupons and money-saving ideas. You can do this, dont let the economy get you down! If this is what you and your husband want for your family, I say go for it!!

    Source(s): life
  • 1 decade ago

    Cutting your income in half will be a huge adjustment for you and your husband. If you think you can afford it, try not spending ANY of you paycheck and putting it all into savings. If you can do it now, then you can stay home when the baby comes and he can go to school while you live off your saved earnings. Have you considered reversing roles for a short while? How about you continue working while he stays home with the baby and goes to school in the evenings? Then when he finishes and finds a job in his new field, you can switch. Pregnancy is not allowed to be considered a preexisting condition under the insurance laws (at least here in NY) so double check. Help from friends and family is great but only if it is reliable. You cannot just quit and hope for the best! If they are willing to let you live in one of their apartments you can either sell your home or rent it out and save some money that way. Being a stay at home parent is more rewarding than any paycheck! Good luck!

  • Karin
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    You know, I wish I had someone like you sticking up for me. Some days I will slack a little bit cause I have worked so hard the other days I have to give myself that break. I have a 3 yr old and 2 yr old with another on the way so I get exhausted easily. My husband complains that i need to be cleaning when the kids nap instead of napping with them. But you know what. The house isn't PERFECT, but dishes are done, I have a plan for dinner, the laundry is done, ect. My house is clean and sanitized and I feel that even though I know he goes to a hard job for 10 hrs a day I have a hard job here to. Yeah I get more breaks to sit on the computer for awhile. But I keep my butt moving on other stuff most of the day. I wish my 16 yr old brother was as smart as you. He wont pick his own laundry off the floor and both of my parents still work. You are going to be a wonderful husband and father someday! Just don't rush it! Enjoy your single life for a bit after high school or at least don't marry for awhile. I don't regret it but some days I wished I had let myself party a bit before I settled down. Tell your mom many people out there are rooting for her! And way to go to you for helping her out. Your dad should do it sometimes too. ( I have to admit that my husband can be a big help on Sunday's if he isn't fishing.)

  • 1 decade ago

    In-home child care can bring in a decent income...but there is A LOT of work involved in this job! I worked as a nurse after my second child was born I decided to quit and stay at home wiht my kids because I was not getting to spend as much time with them as I needed to. After I quit a ton of people from my neighborhood approached me and asked if I would do child care in my home so I agreed. I was making about $2500/month but was working really long hours...10-13 hour days and it was hard on me and my family. I quit doing it, I did not quit my job as a nurse to work longer hours and get paid significantly less. Just something to think about prior to jumping into that one! Another option you may want to look at is doing some sort of home party business, ie Arbonne, Wildtree Herbs, Candlelite...etc. If you can work evenings and weekends this can bring in a great income if you live in a well populated area.

    I really think it is a good idea for your husband to go back to school if he is not happy inn his current career. If you can figure out how to save and manage your money for that one year things will get better, it may be one rough year but you'll do fine.

    My in-laws are also "loaded" and would have helped us in the blink of an eye of we had ever needed anything, fortunately we did not and we are doing absolutely great. Just be happy that you have that back-up as most people do not, if you need to utilize them to get through a rough time do it, if they are willing, it's for the good of your family and you can always repay them!

    I wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy and life afterwards! :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ok. wow that was a lot to read. But i think i have some advise, weither it helps you or not, idk. It sounds to me like you are worried that you wont be able to make enough money for your husband to do all these things. And you said you live in a nice house. My answer is first of all, dont borrow money from relatives, it almost never ends up well, that is if they expect you to pay it back. And for two little kids you dont really need the really nice house right now. Sell the house, buy one not so nice and take the money you've got from that and use it for things you NEED.

  • DeeGee
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    If you really want to do it, there are always sacrfices you can make. Cancel the cable, sell a car, etc.

    I'd be sure to keep health insurance no matter what.

    Another option would be to look into working somewhere part time so you at least are bringing in some money.

    good luck!

  • Yes, but with this economy, you are lucky to have a job. It's an extremely valuable asset and many people would kill for one... I could never support a family on 32K a year.... especially in these times.. I'd think hard before you give up something to precious at the moment.

    Source(s): Being a stay at home mom gets old quick.... I know.. I did it.
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