i was just informed my husband wants a divorce,?

4 yrs and 2 beautiful girls together.... whats left? What now?

Update:

yes i was just informed, my husband is in the Army and about to have to leave to Korea, yet he's told me to plan our wedding reception since we never had one for as soon as he comes back. OBVIOUSLY I didnt know. And I am a christian, but right now it's not adding up and it makes no sense to me

Update 2:

and to the jerk who wrote that "he found someone better"

You don't 'effin know me I did everything for him and our children but even then, I don't look like crap either. You can just go and get a life. You can tell you don't love anyone nor have you ever felt love from anyone!

27 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    First, you remember that you are not alone. You have those two beautiful babies.

    Second, you take the reasoning behind the divorce and decide if it is a cause that can be fixed. Sometimes, people say this in the heat of a fight and they don't actually mean it. If your guy is a hot-head, this could be the case.

    If he is sure of this, start to think logically about how life will change and how you can make it easier on yourself and your girls. Would it be beneficial for you to stay with your parents for a while? Will your routine be the same? Speak to your spouse in a civil, non threatening manner and come up with a child support arrangement.

    Try to stay civil. No matter how upset this makes you. This will make staying together or spliting up so much easier for both you and your girls . . . and if you do end up divorcing, it will make it easier for you to ask for things that you need from him.

    If it turns out that you will be parting ways, you look in the mirror and remember that you are a special someone. That God created you with unique qualities, a great purpose, attributes that make your life worth living - and that your life will continue to be worth living . . . with or without your spouse.

    When things happen that is beyond our control, we ask why and don't always have an answer. And while that may be scary as scary can be, it's comforting to know that these instances just make us eligible to recieve double. The Bible says that God will "restore double the years the locuts have eaten." And He will!

    Hang in there, gum drop! God's not finished with you yet!!

    Source(s): I'm a Christian author
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Did he told you? or you find out by some one else? Anyways you need to put your marriage in a balance... write down all the good stuff and all the bad stuff. Also consider how was your relationship before and now!!! Has he been cheating? Has he been a good man , hubby and parent? why does he wants a divorce? there must be a reason and an explanation. It is sad specially if there are kids involved but it will be more sad for Your kids to stay in a relationship where there is no love, and no harmony. Just stay calm it is not a comfortable situation, but just remember that no matter what your girls will need you and if you can have a safe relationship with the father will be much better for the girls if you do divorce. I hope this will not happened but if there is nothing else to do in your relationship then just move on and some one much better will be out there waiting for you. But if you get to fix your problems then try to do much better to have a much better love relationship and a happy family ...Best Wishes and Good luck!!!

    Source(s): Proud and Happy mother & wife !!!
  • 1 decade ago

    Has he given you or filed the paperwork? Or is it just a threat at this stage? Either way, its time to get yourself a lawyer, and find out what your rights and obligations are.

    Further actions to take.

    Get copies of bank/credit card/super funds, etc balances TODAY. That way if he makes large withdrawals, you will have proof that there was money there.

    Start putting money aside where you can so he doesn't leave you flat broke.

    Is he moving out? Make a list of those things he can take and those you want/need to stay for yourself and the children.

    Talk to him. Is he going to meet his obligations to you and the kids (help with bills, etc), or planning on just walking off into the sunset? (This is where you need the advice of a lawyer to what you are reasonably entitled to in the interim.)

    Does he want to see the kids, and on what sort of schedule?

    Organize a support network for yourself. Don't hide this, like its something to be ashamed of. Let the people important to you know what's happening in your life, and accept offers of help, if its needed.

    If he was bluffing, you've called his bluff. Perhaps that will give him food for thought next time he tries this. Perhaps he will see that YOU at least take the threat of divorce very seriously, and are prepared to protect your interests.

    If he's not, you've shown him you are not going to curl up and die because he's not there. That you are prepared to take whatever actions are required to protect your and your children's best interest.

    No way should he walk away scott free.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I have to apologize up front.

    You've been busy - with making kids, I mean. You obviously were not expecting that. That makes it double hurt. Luckily, women get through such a bad time better than men, especially if there are young kids to take care of.

    There are many things left, but not much of it is good. Learn to hate. Learn to unleash your hate in the right direction. That's the only way for you to live now. Unless, you'll be super lucky and find a good man to cover a big hole in your heart. Be careful though, your judgment can't be trusted for a long time.

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  • 1 decade ago

    What's left? Freedom and those 2 beautiful girls. Now you can work on becoming even closer to your children, and start a new life.

    Believe it or not. There is life, without a man. I personally was never happy until I got a divorce and could finally live my life the way I wanted and just be me, not somebody he wanted me to be.

  • 4 years ago

    You realize everyone queefers, some during more inappropriate times than others. Although I have never heard of anyone divorcing over queefers. But, I assume if you had been eating queefers producing foods that you would be more apt at producing larger queefers that may have offensive odors. So allow your swallow husband his wish, there will be many other men who appreciate your queefers and love and respect you no matter the odor or the size of your queefers.

  • 1 decade ago

    Do you now understand why the girlfriend of your "friend" eight months ago was so "insecure" when you gave him your number to meet for coffee? Relationships are fragile and should be respected.

    With that said, what are you going to do? You are going to be horribly sad (if you loved him) for some time and then it is going to get easier and you are going to start focusing on your life and the life of your daughters. There is plenty left. The person you were truly destined for may have never even been him. There is always surprises waiting around the corner. Pray they are good ones. God listens.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    GO get a councillor, that is what i did when i was going through pretty much the same thing, its a tough road and truly helps to have someone to listen, it helps to put the right focus on the right things, it puts the fear and anger into perspective so that you dont unnecessarily unload it on the kids. Time heals all wounds, just take care and know its a tough road ahead, and you can pave it anyway you like, try to make it as smooth as possible, and Good luck to you.

  • 1 decade ago

    What is the reason behind the divorce? If its something that can be worked out than go to counseling and go to your church pastor. Most of all whatever the outcome...take this time to focus on you and your children. I was the one in my marriage that seeked seperatation and ultimately we will divorce. Sometimes time apart will bring you back together it just depends on what you both want. Pray, pray pray. Pray everyday and ask GOD to give you the answers. Have people pray with you and for you and your family also. Several people in agreements in prayer changes things. Ask God for what you want. Most of all find yourself. Understand what you want in life.

  • 1 decade ago

    You get the support of friends and family and you move on to a new phase in your life.

    Do not spend all of your money on lawyers fighting with your husband. Get the divorce done quickly and with as little stress as possible.

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