Is this normal.................?

Is it normal for a young gay male like myself to be hooking up with guys off craigslist? I don't know any older , normal gay men. I don't know anybody gay ( except for the guys I hook up with) . Are gay guys who hook up with younger gay guys from the internet , known to be weirdos in the gay community? Why do gay guys play so many head games ( like ignoring calls , etc ) ?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    No. It's not normal. It's downright stupid. Haven't you been following the news about all the murders, rapes and other crimes committed with the help of Craigslist?

    Don't even try meeting people through the internet- it's a total waste of time. It's crawling with losers, users, posers, con-artists, trolls, weirdos, flakes, dirty old men and psychopaths. Besides, people to turn to the internet to find a partner are people who have trouble finding one in real life, so they are not exactly the cream of the crop. You're going to be searching for a long, long time before you find a non-cretin there. Meeting people face to face is much faster and more effective.

    It really pays to have a network of gay, bi and straight friends that know you are gay. It works like the snowball effect- the more friends you have, the more new friends you will meet. Concentrate on making friends, not only on getting to know potential boyfriends. The more friends you have helping you search, the more potential boyfriends you will find.

    Get involved in LGBT culture, which includes sports clubs and events, choirs and glee clubs, hospice care volunteering, counseling and big brothers/big sisters programs, church and other religious groups, academic institutes, summer camps, literacy programs, film clubs and other interest groups, pen pals, bookstores and libraries, picnics and barbecues, businesses, legal and political organizations, and much, much more.

    I met a lot of cool guys passing out leaflets against Proposition 8 here in California last fall. I volunteered as an usher for performances during Pride Week and during the gay film festival (that way, I got to meet lots of cool people AND see lots of cool films).

    I also belong to a gay teen soccer club and a gay diving club. I also tag along on hikes with a LGBT teen nature conservancy group that my friend is a member of. Last summer, we went to a camp for LGBT teens, and this summer were going on a canoe trip for gay teens in the Appalachians.

    I'm the vice president of our school's GSA, and have made a lot of contacts in other schools and in the adult LGBT community. I write on LGBT topics for our school newspaper, and two of my articles have been published in the local city paper.

    There are LGBT cultural centers in most cities and towns, even many mid-sized ones:

    http://resources.lgbtcenters.org/Directory/Find-A-...

    You can find out more about clubs and other groups in your area by contacting your local GLSEN or PFLAG chapter, or the equivalent organizations in your country.

    http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/student/inde...

    http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=803

    A lot of churches have groups for gay teens and adults, especially the Metropolitan Community Church, the Unitarians, Episcopalians, and the United Church of Christ. Here is a site where you can find a gay-friendly church in your area (worldwide):

    http://www.gaychurch.org/Find_a_Church/find_a_chur...

    Most of these churches are inclusive churches, so you don't even have to be a Christian to go to the groups. Visitors are always welcome, and none of these churches ever put pressure on you to join. I'm an agnostic, and I often go to the Thursday social of the gay teen group at the local Unitarian church. The guys there are really cool, and I've gone out with two of them.

    Meet as many LGBT and LGTB-friendly people as you can. Meeting LGTB people is really very easy once you get moving. Take advantage of all the many opportunities available.

    Meeting lots of LGBT people will expose you to women being lesbians and themselves in many different ways, and help you figure out how to be a lesbian and true to your own self as well.

    You're going to be waiting a long time if you wait for love to come to you. The world belongs to the go-getters. "Waiters" get only the rejects and table scraps, if anything at all.

    Come out already and start meeting people like crazy. Living your life and finding love will be a lot less complicated if you do. A lot of your problems will simply disappear because you won't feel guilty about being a liar, a coward, a hypocrite and a parasite (because you are leaving it to those who are out to fight for you).

    How do you expect other people to love and respect you if you can't even fully love and respect yourself for what you are?

    Hope this all helps.

    Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ahhh Enno's answer is always so cute.

    Yes it is totally normal for you to want to... If you are as young as i imagine though it isn't a good idea. You sound kind of desperate but that is how we all are as gay young males.

    If you just sit back and are openly gay someone will come to you.

    For the head games thing... that is any relationship I know its annoying but if they ignore your calls and stuff ignore them... There are more people in the world.

    Contact me if you in southeren cali lol

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