Should I seek out help for this?

My husband of nearly eight years has just pushed me onto the floor so hard that he made fall into an aluminum garbage can. The dog food I was holding in a dish scattered all over.I wasn't injured, but I ran away from him as fast as I could. He came upstairs and apologized "up and down". We have 3 kids and they knew something was not right. They were in the other room so they never saw it, but my daughter came in the room while the husband was apologizing and hugged my leg....hard. My question is this: over the course of our marriage, he has "defended" himself against my unkind words (as he frequently puts it). Is it considered abuse if he has physically hit me 1-2 times a year since the beginning?


If you can't tell, I have tried to pacify this, but all that happens is an identical situation.

I know he is stressed about money-we are in debt to our ears! I am stressed about it, too. In fact, oney has always been our major issue.

But I also know it's not okay. As much as he tells me "I'm talking down to him," two wrongs DO NOT make a right.

2 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think you already know the answer to this and that you're seeking support to make your decision final.

    You've asked similar questions about your relationship in the past. You know all too well that it's not working. Now what you need to do is ask yourself if it's worth salvageing. I'm not there, so I can't answer that for you... only you can do that. In your heart, I know you know what's best. You have to consider what's best for you and your daughter. He's a big boy and can fend for himself (obviously).

    I have never struck a woman in all of my 57 years. And, I rarely resort to name calling. I try to reason stuff out. Resorting to physical violence means that something is terribly wrong. Does he drink or do drugs? It sounds to me like he's the one that's depressed. Maybe you ought to give him your Zyprexa and Prozac. Seriously, Allison, if he's not willing to seek counseling, then you have no choice but to take your daughter and get out. If he got violent with you, there's a good chance he'll get violent with her. And if you choose to leave, make sure someone is there to be with you throughout the separation.

  • 1 decade ago

    Absolutely, if he has done it only once, it's time to get out. It is ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE for a husband or any man to hit, strike, or push his spouse or girlfriend. You need to get out. He WILL do it again. There is no such thing as "defending himself" against WORDS!?!?!?! You have my sympathy. Please refer to the site below and seek help for yours and your children's sake.

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