Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Never want to be married with children?

all my life i have never liked children. i dont mind them now, but i couldnt see myself having one. and i never want to ever get married, its destined to fail. ive never been in love, and i dont want to, but im sure it will accidentally happen one day. id rather just **** around my whole life and not commit to any one thing/person. after i witnessed my parents brutal marriage, if you can even call it that, i cant trust myself in a commitment like that, i have so much anger and resentment.

do you feel like this?

why/why not?

15 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I've felt the same as you all my life I said that I would never get married or even have a baby. (Mind you I wasn't able to have a baby)

    Any ways, life has its way around and when I least expected it I fell in love with a wonderful man, got married and now have a beautiful little girl.

    So good luck trying to run away from love but one day it will get you and you are going to have no choice but to except it.

    But i Truly understand why you feel the way you do. You got to learn to forgive your parents and then yourself and you will do just fine. But if you don't forgive you could very well end up hurting the one you fall in love with. Because you will treat that person as if they are going to do to you the same as your parents did to another.

    Keep your head though and give it time, you will be alright.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I got married last year, then filed for a divorce after a month and a half. I have been very angry and bitter ever since. After living like this for the past year I look at myself and realize what I have become, and I don't like what I let myself become. I was on top of the world right before we got married, now I am trying to get that feeling back.

    I have been trying to relaxe and think about the good things in life. Finding new things to do, and doing fun things I stopped doing. I did not realize how angry I was and what that was doing to my life. My friends were scared to be around me.

    Counciling might help, being around positive people, and keeping yourself busy with enjoyable hobbies

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm really sad that you feel this way. It's almost like you're rejecting marriage so that it can't reject you. You're so afraid of getting hurt and feeling miserable that you're not allowing yourself to feel the love and joy that a committed relationship can bring. In my opinion, I think you need to face your fear and if it doesn't work out then at least you can say that you tried. As a parent, I can honestly say that it's a wonderful wonderful thing and at one time in my life I was totally against marriage and family as well.

    Don't let your parents marriage define your choices. You might be keeping yourself from having an awesome relationship with an awesome girl that could be completely opposite of your parents marriage. My advice is to give a committed relationship a try and see what happens. Face your fear!

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that everyone should follow their heart as much as possible without running into trouble. If your heart isn't into the idea of marriage and children, don't get married and have children. I've seen that marriage can work and be happy. I love children. Therefore, I married relatively young and want to have children.

    Oh, and if you fall in love, don't assume it will end badly. My husband came from two very unhappily married parents and thought he would never want to be married. He's very happy with me and tells me every day how happy he is to have my support. Just let your life unfold and don't make assumptions. It takes the fun out of it.

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  • V¿
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I had 2 bad marriage and 4 children..the 2 middle children were twins and died shortly after birth..but no i do not think i will give up..call me crazy..i may never marry again and my tubes are tie..if i ever have another child to care for it will be a grandchild that my child can not care for..or maybe a relative who passed away..or i may even find a runaway teenager..who know what will happen years to come..

  • kaina
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I felt like this forever-still do sometimes. However, I met a man that treats me well, comes from a very good family and doesn't abuse or try to control me. Though I really didn't want to get married I knew that if I could spend my life with anyone it would be him. And he REALLY wanted to get married. I am in my early 30's and do NOT want to have children. That is one thing he knew going in. But I never tried to keep myself from a meaningful relationship. In fact I saw it as a challenge not to repeat my parent dysfunction. Dont keep yourself from happiness. You are not your parents!

    Source(s): The Cycle of Dysfunction Stops HERE!
  • 1 decade ago

    My parents marriage was pretty horrific too but to fall in love is wonderful. To find someone you love is even better. Kids aren't for everyone and not all marriages are hell...nor destined to fail. You don't want to get married and have kids...don't. But you are missing out.

    Source(s): If you don't want kids I suggest you get a vasectomy. Although my sister never wanted kids and she willingly has two now. Good luck.
  • MUG
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    nar i dont feel the same. i used to though.

    when you dont connect to people, and you just **** around, its just not fulfilling in the long run. youve witnessed your parents marriage, so its put you off, but once you find somebody you really care for you will understand how much you have actually been missing just ******* around.

    & if you get married, you feel great you can connect with somebody, and feel 100% comfatable with.

    you wont be able to pull much when your 70 lol.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't ever want to have children

    not sure if I will get married

    get married when I meet the right person--not in a rush

  • 1 decade ago

    I felt the same way you do until I met my hubby. You just have not met the one. When you do your outlook on marriage and kids will change.

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