Pregnant with ex boyfriend...Dont know if Im in love with him anymore...?
Ok so Im young pregnant and confused. Im almost 11 weeks pregnant and I dont know how I feel about my boyfriend anymore. He was my ex when I got pregnant and this was a total accident. In between the time I got pregnant and I actually found out I was pregnant I started dating this really great guy. PERFECT boyfriend. Well then I find out Im pregnant and decide to try and work it out with my ex (who has previously lied to me cheated on me and dumped me...TWICE).. Well now that were back together I just cant help but think about all the bad things hes done and I dont think I can forgive him. And I only feel like hes with me cause he wants the baby. He always just goes out and does his own thing and I do mine. LIke tonight on a Friday night he calls me and tells me hes going to dinner with his friends and didnt even invite me!! Is this as messed up as I think it is? I just feel horrible all the time and really didnt expect everything to happen like it has..I just need some advice..
Ok yes people I know Im an idiot for doing it but people make mistakes! I already feel horrible enough!
- ♥Riley's Mom♥Lv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
Ppl r always give u a hard time here when u say ur young, but dont worry u have enough already.... You don't have to be with ur baby's daddy only cuz u guys r having a baby things happen for a reason and u cant sacrifice when hes acting like an @$$ he cheated on u a couple of times and probably will do it again, talk to him and tell him to be just friends and he can be involved with the baby stuff but thats it.Good luck!
- ladyrenLv 71 decade ago
First advise was to have been on bc. You goofed.
What WERE you thinking to get preggo with a jerk who was already a cheater, and dumping you. Where WAS your mother??? and where WAS your radar.
And no, he doesn't want the baby, honey. He won't be there by the time the kid is 18 months old. And he won't be helping you support it either... that's $1000 per month after hospital, less in the beginning, more later.
Dead beat dad.....He'll be gone, and that is a promise, if either of you is under 20, and I'm guessing from this, you both are.
You are in the same place any woman is with an unwanted pregnancy--married or not----, and you as well have the same three choice, none any good, sorrrryyy.
1. You can keep the pregnancy and carry to term. Since you don't even have a hs diploma, about all you qualify for is a job at McD's. If you are 16, you are out from under in two decades... 34, pushing middle age with a short stick.
Few guys date teen moms, (any more than you likely would seriously date a guy who had sole custody of his child.
It's called baggage, and you can hardly blame them.)
As you get older, they still don't.
Those fancy guys with fancy salaries and fancy degrees don't have too much in common with a hs drop out.
In fact you will never likely even meet one.
2. You can keep the pregnancy and adopt out.
And there is no guarantee that the adoptive parents will allow you in its life, even if they agree.
They can move out of state, gone.
As well, they may lie to any attorney about their home situation.
3. Abort. The religious right will tell you this is murder, and we have all bought into it.
But a zygote has no nervous system, feels nothing, hears nothing, thinks nothing.
The propaganda tape Silent Scream is a yawn. All mammals yawn in utero. Still, we all have difficulty with this, and none take it lightly. Abortion is legal up to month 3 or so.
After month 3 or so, you are now reduced to the two choices mentioned.
None of these is an easy choice. Not one of them.
The dude is a jerk. It's up to you if you wish him to be the sire of your child(ren).Source(s): teacher/counselor 26 years.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I can tell you that I understand because I'm 26 weeks pregnant, I'm 22 years old, and I'm having the baby of a man that is 33. You think he'd be a mature charming man right? NO!!!!!! He is a liar! He was married the entire time and now that he's getting divorced he expects me to just fall right back into love with him, but I can't think about my wants and desires anymore.You have to think about your baby and what is best for him/her. You don't want him/her to have a father who is constantly in and out of it's life. I made the decision to have him sign away his rights so that he can never see my baby at all and I left him for good. It was one of the hardest things to do because I do truly love him, but in the end, even though he is the father of my child, I know that he is not a good man and he treated me like crap! Don't settle for this guy! You can DO BETTER!!!!!! Concentrate on you and this baby! He/she is going to change you life 100%
- 1 decade ago
i am in the same position but late 20's. we are kinda sort of together he tells me he loves me and i am not sure if i want to be with him. i need a man and if am going to go thru this pregnancy, he will have to step up and be a man and i will go along with this i want my child to have both parents in the same household. this is not a reason to stay together. if he not going to treat u likeu should be treated and take care of his baby then u need to make the decision if thats how u are going to be treated. HE WILL ONLY KEEP TREATING U LIKE THISS BECAUSE U ALLOW IT. DONT LET HIM BE WITH U JUST BECUASE OF A BABY. U HAVE TO PUT OUT THERE WHAT U WANT AND HE NEEDS TO DELIVER!
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- 1 decade ago
Well hun, as sad as it may be for you to not be in love with the father of your baby, it's really okay. It doesn't sound like you had a very good relationship with him in the first place. If he wants the baby then that's great! At least you have that going for you right now. But you can't force yourself to be in a relationship with him if you don't have feelings anymore. He can still be a big part of the baby's life without being a big part of yours.
Best of luck babe!
- innocent annieLv 71 decade ago
you dont need to stay with your boyfriend because youre pregnant..he can be a good father whether youre a couple or not...
from what you say this relationship is doomed for the second time...
what you need to do is find a place of your own, concentrate on you and your unborn child and one day find the right guy that will treat you good, love you and your child and one that you will be happy with..
your current boyfriend could still be a big part of your childs life even though you guys arent together...
good luck and congrats on the upcoming new addition...
- Ivory <3Lv 41 decade ago
If you aren't happy with him, dont' force yourself into the relationship.
Relationships are meant to make people happy, and you deserve someone you are happy with. People have children together but aren't always together. That's what happens with divorces.
I hope everything works out.
But keep the baby! Or set it up for adoption if you absolutely can't raise it.
- 1 decade ago
Well if you had a really great guy why would you leave him and go back to that scum bag... and This is just creating a bad enviorment for your baby and I dont reccomend it. So yeah do what you gotta do
- 1 decade ago
If the really great guy cares about u, then b with him. he can still b a "Father".u can work things out with your ex and things will hopefully turn out fine. make sure that baby has a great life! dont make his life too complicated. b strong and listen to your heart! <3
- 1 decade ago
He is an EX for a reason. He was bad to you, jsut cause you'rer pregnant with his kid doesnt mean he will change. I have seen pleanty of the kind of relationships that you are currantly in. He can be in your childs life but that doesnt mean that you have to be with him..
Once a cheater always a cheater and he didnt have the respet to change before what makes you think he will do it now?