Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

What about these Definitions For A New Age old i know but funny?

Budget:

A method for going broke methodically.

Chickens:

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they're dead.

Profanity:

The linguistic crutch of inarticulate idiots.

Boat:

A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money.

Bachelor:

One who treats all women as sequels.

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.

Flashlight:

A case for holding dead batteries.

Taxpayer:

Someone who doesn't have to take a public service exam to work for the government.

Consciousness:

That annoying time between naps.

Stress:

The confusion created when ones mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately needs it.

Jury:

Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

Hospitality:

Making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

Aquadextrious:

The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.

Adult:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

14 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    !0 out of 10 for you duck never heard them before ha ha ha

  • Bonnie
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Maybe the only reason they're doing that is that, it is the only way they know how they could find happiness on their own through partying. I think not most of the young people do that. As for me, I am already 23 and never had the chance to go on a partying night or whatsoever. You can call me KJ, but i don't like that kind of stuff. I rather spend my time with my family after work or watch some movies rather than having an overnight party.

  • 1 decade ago

    Duck's Dictionary??

  • 1 decade ago

    awesome...star for u

    Riddle of the Day

    Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

    Michael J. Fox has a small one.

    Madonna doesn't have one.

    The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

    Clinton uses his all the time.

    Bush is one.

    Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

    Liberace never used his on women.

    Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

    Cher claims that she took on 3.

    We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

    What is it?

    Answer below! (this is pretty good )

    ***************************

    OMG

    The answer is: 'A Last Name.'

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Very funny

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi there,

    Loved this :-) :-) :-)

    Gave me a real giggle!

    Have a great day and a star. Hope you have a wonderfully happy future :-)

  • 1 decade ago

    Once again one of your golden jokes, my days would be boring without them xox keep them coming!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    another good one duck glad to see this one doesn't have

    NOT ONE OF MY BEST ONES SORRY stamped over it

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Awesome! OMG! These were absolutely awesome!!!.

  • Brilliant! All so very true too!!

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