Can you write an amusing story that includes these lines?

1) These came straight from Paris I'll have you know!!

2) You bore me my dear....are there any more interesting characters around here?

3) The deadbolt swung shut!

4) <GASP!! > B-b-but there's no such thing as_______!!

5) And to think...I left ____for this!

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  • 1 decade ago
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    Dodge City, Kansas

    Circa 1875

    Part ONE:

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqXqy...

    PART TWO:

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnkWT...

    And now the conclusion:

    Everyone in the restaurant stopped talking and watched as a shadowy figure approached Kitty's table. As soon as the door closed, 3) The deadbolt swung shut! The patrons of Delmonicos were horrified as they watched the shadowy figure transform itself into a skeleton!

    The skeleton: "HellOOOOOOOOOOOO, Miss Russell !!!!"

    Sunshine...... Screamed and spit out her bite of buttered bread...........and her hair stood straight up!!

    Matt ....... went for his gun

    Doc ....... stared in disbelief.

    Festus soiled his pants.

    Kitty ......... wiped a chunk of buttered bread from her face and grabbed her emergency bottle of Randy Scouse Git Rotgut that she kept in her purse.

    The figure stood still for a moment......and then suddenly let out a <<<<<BOOMING ROARRRRRRRRRR>>>>>.

    Matt dropped his gun. It discharged, narrowly missing the hangy-down part of Festus' left ear.

    Sunshine tried to scream but only a squeak could be heard.

    Doc took out his smelling salts.

    Festus covered his ears and started singing in hopes that it would drown out the scarey voice:

    ♫ Please give me a home where the buffalo roam, and not where the ghoulies do.

    I hate to be scared. I'm so ill-prepared. For a life of shrill screamin'. Go to **** you old demon♫

    And Kitty fell over backwards in her chair, revealing layer after layer of frilly petticoats.

    The skeleton laughed .....not unlike that of a wild hyenna.

    Kitty: "Stop it! STOP LAUGHING, I SAY. 1) These came straight from Paris I'll have you know!! " She smoothed out the

    wrinkles of the delicate fabric as she got up from the floor.

    The Skeleton ....oh, heck....I might as well call a spade a spade! The GHOST shattered the air with moaning and groaning. "I AM YOUR WORSE NIGHTMARE !!! I HAVE BEEN SENT BY SATAN,HIMSELF!!

    Doc: Having been revived by the smelling salts, spoke up.4) "<GASP!! > B-b-but there's no such thing as the devil!! Listen ....I am a man of science .... and......well.....you simply do NOT exist !!"

    With a wave of his hand,the skeleton brushed Doc to the side.

    Doc: "MATT!!!! HELP ME, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES!!!"

    The skeleton studied the scene in front of him:

    Matt .......On his hands and knees,under one of the tables, was still searching for the pistol that had flown out of his grasp.

    Sunshine........ Was under the table with Matt, trying to interest him in a little whoopie!

    Festus....... Was well into the second verse of his song.

    Kitty.........And Kitty had HAD ENOUGH!!! "2) You bore me my dear....are there any more interesting characters around here?" She yawned as she resumed her dinner.

    The Skeleton: "5) And to think...I left Arizona for this! Heck!There's more fun in TOMBSTONE than silly old Dodge. At least the MARSHAL down there knows how to hold onto his firearm!!"

    Matt tried to protest, but was unable.....Sunshine had him in a lip-lock.

    And with no further ado, the shadowy figure/skeleton floated out of the room.

    Was this merely a dream? Did someone eat too many nacho chips and salsa just before bedtime?

    I can't say.....But I DO know this....... If you travel on down to Tombstone, you juuuuuuuuuust might see something frightening:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/36642885@N03/33838774...

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  • Bob
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Yes, easily.

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