Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingToddler & Preschooler · 1 decade ago

Should i allow my two year old son to see his mom?

After my ex gave birth to our son she became a violent drunk. And so i divorce her and got full custody of our son. But my son has been crying for his mom for the past two weeks and he says"were is mommy" and "why cant i see her" It makes me want to cry so bad when he ask's about her because i don't want to tell him the truth about her and everything. And my ex called up last night wanting to see if she could she our son, and well i told her i would have to think about it and everything. Because i don't want my son around her because she is so violent and such a drunk thats why i left her and took our son in the first place and everything. Any Advise?

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    First of all, good for you for leaving the situation. Second, I would suggest NO alone contact whatsoever unless she completes counseling and a treatment program and shows severe improvement. For now, a supervised visitation with a liason (that she pays for) is the only way she should be allowed to see him. The only person who protect him is you, you have to be his advocate.

    And remember, children don't always know what is best for them. Of course he misses her, he doesn't understand that she's not a good person. Sometimes as parents we need to make tough decisions that aren't necessarily what they want right now, but it's what is best for them in the long run.

    God bless and good luck

  • 4 years ago

    very short, scheduled supervised visits. Maybe dependent upon her entering a treatment program. Also, buy a breathalyzer (about $100 online) and require that she blow a zero or no visit. Since your child is so young and does not have the capacity to understand what's happening you might not want to promise him the visit. Make a surprise for him. Otherwise you'll be using the 'mommy is sick' excuse too mush. I know it's hard being a single dad but remember (and I speak from experience) you did the right thing for your child. Growing up in a home with a parent like that is no way to be. Kids who grow up in such dysfunctional homes often become dysfunctional adults. They don't know what a normal, loving family is like. As a single loving dad without the weight of an addict mother you can show him the right way

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I agree with the answers that suggested supervised visitation. I am in the opposite situation; my two year old is starting supervised visits with his dad, and I am so happy for both of them.

    In case you don't know how to get it started, just google "supervised visitation center" and your town's name, and then call them to set up an intake appointment. It's really simple, and the centers are actually really fun, with toys, books, play equipment, everything your child needs to safely bond with his mom. They have different payment arrangements. Some go on a sliding pay scale, and sometimes you split the cost or the visiting parent pays the whole thing. Either way the cost is reasonable. Your local center will give you all the information you need. Good luck!!! =)

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell her how you feel. Your divorce must have been very hard for her if this is what she resorted to. Talk to her about joining an intervention program. Alcoholics Annoumous for example?

    Tell her that unless she doesn't shape up, she won't see him. And if she truly cares, then she will try.

    Just because your relationship didn't work out, doesn't mean you can't still be friends? After all, you guys had to start somewhere before getting hitched! Be there for her and help her out. She might just need to talk.

    tell your child that Mommy is going through a difficult time right now and can't see him, but that she WANTS to. Distract him with games and outings.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Maybe set up supervised visitations with the county

  • 1 decade ago

    Hell no she needs to work for ur son if she wants to see him bad enough!" she needs AA classes first to prove that she cares and maybe a couple parenting classes too !" dont give in that easy "!

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you should allow them to see each other but only under supervision. Don't leave the child alone with her. Meet her at the park or something and let them see each other, but don't let her leave with him or have him by herself.

    Source(s): mommy of 2, and a paralegal student
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I would do a supervised visit, thats really to bad though you need to do what you feel is best for your son.

    I wish you the best of luck!

  • your son needs his mom in his life but not a messed up one she might be violent with you but i dont know if she would do the samething to her son, let him see his mom

  • 1 decade ago

    Supervised only...and maybe encourage her to get help with her problem...the baby needs his mother in his life.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.