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Dad asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Was/Is your Dad important in your life?

I spent most of my life with my Mom and learned most of what I know today from my Mom, for my Mom and Dad decided to go their separate way when I was about 17 years old. During the years when Mom and Dad were together, I didn't have much affection for him, specifically because I felt he could have done a better job at treating my Mom like a lady.

Because I was brought up by my Mom and lived with females ( Mom and sister) throughout most of my life, I didn't learn what a Son probably should have learned from his Dad, and I am currently wondering if I missed any thing important out of my life because of this.

What's your opinion on this matter?



12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    My father died when I was 32 years old, but by this time I had a family of my own. This is not to say that I had learned everything I could have learned from him, but rather that I did get many years of being able to share what he knew and experienced.

    My father taught me how to hunt and fish and forage for wild greens, berries, nuts and mushrooms. He was instrumental in helping me know how to use hand and power tools. He shared with me is his enthusiasm for sports, especially baseball. He encouraged me to read both fiction and non-fiction. He taught me self-discipline.

    It is not so much the technical skills as it is his attitude that has stuck with me over the years. "The right tool for the right job" and "Doing it right the first time is better than doing a job over again" are typical examples.

    Much of this I have been able to pass on to my own children and even others (as a Scoutmaster or teacher).

    More importantly, my father taught me that more and one person could love me unconditionally. No matter how poor my personal choices or how badly I screwed up, I knew that my activity might be frowned upon but I was still his son.

    Did you miss anything important? Maybe, but maybe not. Perhaps you have been able to learn similar lessons from others in your life. Perhaps sometimes a bad example is as educational as a good one.

    Your children and others who know you might be the best judges of what you may have missed. It may be that all you missed was the grief of having a poor parent lash out at you for a longer time period.

  • 1 decade ago

    My dad and mom are still alive. My mom is in the hospital fighting for her life. I take care of them both. Yes, my dad is important to me. He retired from the army after 20 years. Retired from the bus company. His military career and attitude is what made me stronger. Being around a military background is what led me to joining the military and putting in 10 years. (10th Special Forces Group/Airborne). He taught me to be a man. He was there for me and now that my mom is in critical condition, I need to be there for him. Cycle of life.

    As far as you missing anything? That depends. If your mom and friends raised you with love and you had male friends to hang out with, I see no reason why you shouldn't feel complete. Be happy someone loved you. Many kids growing up, missed/didn't have that in their young lives.

  • 1 decade ago

    My Dad meant everything to me even though I was closer to my Mom. From the time I can first remember I remember following my Dad everywhere he went. If he was working in the woods planting trees, his little girl was with him, if he was working in the garden, I was there making "frog houses". If he was picking blueberries I was eating as many as I picked. When he came home from work I always knew he had something for me. It may be just a penny piece of gum but it was from my daddy. My fondest memory was sitting in his lap, watching "Gunsmoke" while he scrapped me an apple. How I loved my daddy. I was his only girl and what they day about being Daddy's Little Girl last as lifetime!!

    Thanks for the memories!


  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i think that.. while you pick up your values from one parent or the other, whether they are together or not, one parent always shapes your view of the world more than the other one does. its a dynamic that people fall into without thinking about it

    my dad was always the passenger in his and mum's relationship. he was very good at taking credit for things like getting my brother help but it was my mum that pushed and fought for it. he brought us into thousands of pounds worth of debt but it was mum that took 3 jobs and cleared it

    i know that that's not true in every case... in some places the mother is the passenger but ultimately you form your own view of the world and never more so when you realise your parents have flaws as much as the next person

    don't look back... don't even look forward. just live in the here and now

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think you missed the bond that a son and a Father usually share. My Dad spent most of his time on the ocean so I never got the chance to share anything with him. In the end, he told someone close to our Family that we did share a bond. That made me feel really special. You have a second chance, to share a bond with your own son and become a better Father and husband. Your welcome Dad.

  • 1 decade ago

    i think you did miss out, but your mum sounds like she did a great job with you, your mum did the best she could and even though your dad wasn't there much for you im sure you didn't miss much.

    my fiance's dad wasn't there for him throughout his teens, he was having an affair that EVERYONE knew about for 8years! and it really destroyed the family but his mum wouldn't leave him. anyway my fiancee learnt everything normal guys now, like fixing cars and shaving from his friends and himself, his relationship with his dad is better now the affair has stopped but its far from perfect (he cant go to his dad and just talk etc..)

    my relationship with my dad is great, we have always been close (ive always been a daddy's girl) and i love my dad so much, he would do anything for his family. i learnt a lot from him.

    sorry about your dad, but at least you had a great mum to make up for him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Not really important for me either, unfortunately.

    You can make what happened to you a benefit. Learn from his mistakes, that it will make you a better husband and father.

  • 1 decade ago

    not untill i turned 12. even before i learned most of my life skills on my own, my dad just helped me with my education.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    that is sad, he was supposed to have sports with you, help with homework, teach you about girls, etc. Go to a solid bible teaching church, get to know the youth pastors or other Godly men who will give you Godly wise advise.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    there is nothing ur dad can teach u that ur mom cant. i am rude 2 my mom sumtimes but wen my daddy waznt there she waz. 4get him. i bet u didnt miss out on any thing. he missd out on u.

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