Are we financially stable for a child?
Now, I understand it'll be hard, it always will be. Especially since I am 18 and my fiance' is 20. I dropped out of high school to travel the state with him for 1 year, he was a drop out because his parents forced him to make the decision of leaving school.
He is a waiter at a sushi restaurant (makes about $200 every 2 weeks, give or take because of tips) and also a Delivery Boy for pizza hut (makes a little less than the waiting job, but pretty much the same, give or take because of tips). I, myself, work for my mother (my fiance' and I live under her roof at the moment) at her doughnut shop only 3 days a week. I make $219 every two weeks. I'd get another job, but I also don't have my driver's license yet and the 3 days I work are days that I am able to get a lift from someone.
My mom doesn't make us pay rent and she does not know yet that I am pregnant, but we are an Asian family and she is a 1st generation Cambodian in America, so there's a high chance she'll kick me out because I caused her shame. I just found out this morning I'm pregnant and he wants to get an abortion. I'm not against abortion or anything, but I've wanted children since I was 15 and here's my chance.
Truth is, we never used any form or birth control. And after almost 2 years of sex, I just got pregnant this one time. An abortion would lower my chances of getting pregnant again, wouldn't it? What would I do when I can't have children at all? Adopting was something I would've done anyway one day, but there's always a nice feeling of having your own child.
Are we financial stable enough to have a child, knowing we'd probably get kicked out of the house, have to find a cheap apartment somewhere, and hopefully be able to survive? Are there programs to help me in this situation? If I chose to give my unborn baby to adoption, will the adopting parents pay for all the medical stuff?
Please, any and all information would be very helpful.... And please, no scolding me for this. THAT doesn't help.
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
definitely not financially stable...far from it. im 20 and make about $200 in one week and i can barley support myself. if you move out you will have rent, electric bill, phone bill, groceries, water bill, not to mention everything your baby needs and medical bills. if you both brought in about $2000 a month that would be stable. as far as adoption...some people looking to adopt a baby do offer to pay medical expenses.
- 1 decade ago
It really depends on where you live. You may be able to find a cheap place and make it, but know that it will be extremely, extremely hard. Babies are expensive, especially if you aren't able to breastfeed because then you have the added cost of formula. Not to mention day care if you and your fiance are unable to work opposite shifts so someone will always be with the baby. There are some great governmental resources out there as well. In a situation where you're forced out of your home, there may be an organization which can help you.
Also, I understand your opposition to abortion, it's not something I personally could do either, but have you thought about adoption? I know it would be difficult, but if you and your fiance are not able to care for a child with the income you have now, it may be the best thing you can do for that child. You could even consider an open adoption where the child would know who you are and you will be able to tell the child that despite how much you loved him, you were unable to keep him so you gave him to his new Mommy and Daddy so they could take care of him for you. I wish you the best of luck!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
WIC (Women Infant Children) this is a great program it can provide you with milk eggs frozen juice cheese cereal and when the baby is born if you choose to keep it formula if you dont want to breastfeed you also can apply for Medicaid its for preg disable and elderly people its also a great program it will cover your medical expenses it paid for everything for me however not every obgyn takes it so call around and ask untill you get on Medicaid try for a program called Baby Your Baby i dont know if every state has this program i live in utah and they do look online and see if you can get it. its a program to cover medical expenses because it takes a few weeks to a month or two to get on medicaid you might get some food stamps also but they are kinda had to get here in utah all of these programs you can google or go to your local health department or workforce service building there are other programs to help with rent and stuff but usually have waiting list now it does take some work to get on these programs but they are worth it 100% good luck and post more if you have any questions again good luck and congrats and no matter how much money you make your never ready to become a parent babies dont have instrutions and dont come out saying i need to eat and be changed its a learning experance and a good one at that the best gift we have ever had for a man he becomes a father when he holds his child for the first time a women becomes a mom the moment we find out were preg good luck i hope this helps and a tip if you keep the baby buy things now diapers cloths so when the baby comes your ready and set for awhileSource(s): we have a 6mo old lil girl and we use these programs they are great
- 1 decade ago
My fiance and I make a lot more than that and recently had to move in with his parents. Shortly after I got pregnant, everybody at his work got their pay and hours cut and we were BARELY able to make rent, much less have any money to put away for taking care of a baby. We thought about the possibility of what could happen if I were to be put on bed rest and knew there was no way we would make it. About four months after moving in with his parents, I'm on bed rest and can't work for the rest of my pregnancy. Had we stayed in our apartment, we'd have been evicted.
Sit down and make a budget. Add up what you & he are both guaranteed to make per month. Subtract rent, utilities, food, gas, and any other monthly payments you may have [cell phone, credit cards, car payments, insurance, etc.] Is there any money left? Expect to be at the doctor often, will you be able to cover co-pays? Do you have any money left for savings? If you aren't able to work at any point, can he cover all these bills just with his earnings? Even if you work throughout your entire pregnancy, can you manage to pay your bills during your 6-week [minimum] recovery? Keep in mind, once the baby comes you've got diapers, food, clothes, toys and medical bills to pay for. After sitting down and looking at your finances, if you can make this all work then go for it. If not, it's time to start looking at other options.
Also -- if you never used any form of birth control, you had to have known eventually you would get pregnant. How do you think babies are made? An abortion will not lower your chances of getting pregnant in the future. I know of a few people who've had abortions and gone on to later have children. Do whatever you feel is best, but from the sounds of it, you're not mature enough to bring a child into the world.
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- MRSBELv 51 decade ago
girl you know the answer to these questions you posted.dont play like you are clueless.you know what everyone will say.you are not ready for any baby by any means.plus dont abuse the state programs cause you made a bad decision.just you two need to figure out where you will get morei ncome at and just work harder.plenty of women in my family worked two jobs while pregnant,then went on leave closer to the due date.it is possible,cause they were single moms and did it to prepare themselves for taking care of the child when it came and to make sure they were prepared.i know you can do it.there is something wrong mentally if you think you cant.