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小雨 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

可否幫我修改一封英文信,謝謝(20點)

寫信原因:

因申請國外學校,

校方5月中之後會通知是否有offer,

我的英文成績未達到標準,

校方通知我盡快補成績,

但成績最快6月才會出來,

因為擔心成績出來的時間比放榜時間慢,

所以我想寫信先告知校方---成績單會較慢寄到.

(學校在荷蘭,沒有pre-sessional可以讀,

所以不需跟它提條件式入學)

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中文內容:

我是今年申請XXX的學生,

因為我的IELTS成績未達標準,

目前以已在準備下一次的考試,

我非常希望能進入貴校就讀,

希望貴校能接受較慢寄發的成績,

並慎重考慮我的申請.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear XXX,

I am writing with regard to my application to begin postgraduate studies in XXX at your university in September.

You indicated that my IELTS score of 5.5 was insufficient and that I would require a minimum of 6 (writing 7, speaking 7) to gain admission.

I recognize the importance of ensuring the English competency of enrolling overseas candidates and fully accept your decision.

Now I am preparing for the IELTS exam, thus the score report will be obtained later.

(這句好像太口語了)

我非常希望能進入貴校就讀(這句不會寫), hoping your esteemed

school could kindly consider my application.

I have supplied my applicant number and e-mail address for your

convenience.

If you have any requirement, please let me know.

(這句不會寫,這句想表達,"假如校方有任何進一步的要求,請告訴我")

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

另,我需要在結尾加上Thank you之類的嗎?

先說聲謝謝囉~~~

4 Answers

Rating
  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    你寫的已經相當不錯了,

    我稍做更正如下:

    Dear Sirs,

    I am writing this letter with regard to my application for the postgraduate studies in XXX at your university in September.

    You indicated that my IELTS score of 5.5 was insufficient and that I shall require a minimum of 6 (writing 7, speaking 7) to get the permission.

    I recognized the importance of ensuring the English competency of enrolling overseas candidates and fully accept your decision.

    Now I am preparing for the next IELTS exam, thus the score report will be abvailable and submit later.

    (這句好像太口語了) (沒關係,現代英文書信本來就要求口語化)

    Do hope your esteemed school could kindly consider my application.

    For your convenience, I'm enclosing my applicant number and e-mail address. If you need any further information, please feel free to let me know.

    Thank you for your kind attention and best regards,

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  • 1 decade ago

    Mike 翻的很不錯喔

    你本身寫的也經算不錯了!

    希望那所學校接受你的申請!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hello 光 你好,

    依據您的問題我的建議如下 :

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dears,

    >I am writing with regard to my application to begin

    >postgraduate studies in XXX at your university in September.

    I'm (a student) applying for the postgradulate studies of the xxx department at your school in the coming semester.

    >You indicated that my IELTS score of 5.5 was insufficient

    >and that I would require a minimum of 6 (writing 7, speaking 7) to gain admission.

    I have been informed that my IELTS scored 5.5 is not qualified for admission to your university, and the requested minimum score of IELTS is 6(writing 7, speaking 7).

    >I recognize the importance of ensuring the English

    >competency of enrolling overseas candidates and fully accept your decision.

    I fully understand about the English capability requirement for foreign candidates from your school and will try best to reach your expectations.

    >Now I am preparing for the IELTS exam, thus the score

    >report will be obtained later.(這句好像太口語了)

    I'm now preparing for my 2nd IELTS exam these days but I'm afraid the report won't be received by end of this May.

    >我非常希望能進入貴校就讀(這句不會寫), hoping your

    >esteemed school could kindly consider my application.

    I'm eager to study at your school and hopefuly your final decision could be kindly waited until my 2nd IELTS report around June.

    >I have supplied my applicant number and e-mail address for your convenience.

    Here are my applicant ID number and the email address as below list :

    xxx

    xxx

    >If you have any requirement, please let me know.

    >(這句不會寫,這句想表達,"假如校方有任何進一步的要求,請告訴我")

    It'll be very appreciated to inform of me if you have any further question for my request.

    Looking forward to getting your reply soon.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    >另,我需要在結尾加上Thank you之類的嗎?

    Yes, 結尾禮貌詞不可少 , 諸如 :

    Sincerely

    With my best regards

    With many thanks in advance

    祝好運!

    2009-05-10 03:32:21 補充:

    sorry for a better description on a word modification :

    => I'm eager to study at your school and hopefuly your final decision could be kindly postponed until my 2nd IELTS report around June.

    Source(s): me and hope to help you a bit
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  • 1 decade ago

    Dear XXX,

    I am a student applying for XXX this year. My ITLES result is not up to standard, but I am studying for the next examination in order to study in (XXX).

    I wish to study in (XXX), and I sincerely apologize for the results that would be sent later. I wish you can take me into consideration seriously. Thank you.

    (name)

    我不知道你的XXX是什麼意思, 但我用括號的(XXX)是要你填你要唸的那所學校的全名, 是全名喔, 那是一種敬意. 如果你還有要加的東西就加在適合的地方就行了.

    Source(s): 自己
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