Feel like my marriage is at a dead end...can somebody offer some words of advice?

My husband has a big issue with taking his stress out on other people. He does it to everyone in his life, especially the ones that annoy him in general. He refuses therapy...either for couples or by himself. Anyways, since I got pregnant, the stress of the baby has caused him to nitpick every detail of... show more My husband has a big issue with taking his stress out on other people. He does it to everyone in his life, especially the ones that annoy him in general. He refuses therapy...either for couples or by himself. Anyways, since I got pregnant, the stress of the baby has caused him to nitpick every detail of everything I do and it's driving me crazy. He knows he's wrong, but wants me to be compassionate to him about his problem and ask him what the bigger issue is. I get so defensive about it and start yelling at him about it, which I know is not the best response. How would you respond to your spouse if they took all their stress out on you? By taking the stress out, I mean criticizing me if I haven't done the laundry, haven't picked up an empty water bottle, forget to feed the cats for a couple hours, or generally do anything wrong. He takes a tone with me and acts like I committed this hugely wrong act. What do I do? I cry almost every day because I get no slack. And he says he feels like he has a chore list a mile long, even though I would do a lot of the things if he left them for two minutes.
Update: He says that I'm selfish because I don't consider his stress. But when he's nitpicking me, I just don't want to hear it. I shut down when he does that.
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