First of all, I am sorry that you feel this way. It sounds like a really stressful way to live and you do not deserve that at all.
Does your husband know that you cry every day over this? That is not a good sign.
It seems to me like you have to play nursemaid to your husband and his "problem". Everyone suffers stress, it doesn't mean they can take it out on everyone else around them. That isn't fair.
I understand that you shut down, you obviously need to protect yourself from his outbursts.
Plus if he is says he feels he has a chore list to do that is a mile long, it seems he wants your pity as well.
I am extremely concerned with your baby also, the stress that you are feeling will be transferred to your baby. Stress can bring on pre-eclampsia which is serious.
However, I do not think your marriage is an end. It is going through a rough patch for sure.
First of all, you cannot change his behaviour. But you can change yours.
Do not yell at him. (Easier said than done but give it a try.) When he starts nitpicking, do not worry, just say - ok you can do that, pregnancy sure takes it out of me. Let him do that. Stay calm though, because of your baby. If he wants to be the hero and do everything, fine, that is up to him.
When he complains about his mile long list, tell him ok, you will take two things and do them right now. I bet he will find it hard to give you two things to do - because I think much of this is in his head. I think he has got into a routine of taking things out on you.
This way you have an answer for each thing. If he nitpicks, let him get on with it. You can be sweet about it "Gee, thanks honey, I am so glad you can help me while I am pregnant" works well.
If he complains about his list, then offer to do two things.
If you cannot deal with his nitpicking, and you really feel like you are going to yell at him, then put your coat on and go out for a walk. Just get out of the situation.
I thought of this information after having a read at the source below.