kylee asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

maturity check -for my mother?

apparently my responsible forty year old mother has lost it. let me explain.

we've gotton into a fight a few days ago, with her calling me something along the lines of "useless" and "lazy" and practically "a failure at life"

thanks mom.

ok, so we're asian, but this doesnt have anything to do w/ grades or schoolwork. better yet, they were called "piano" and "chores". i just finished an hour of piano (one hour out of nine years of playing), vaccumed and cleaned all the noncarpet flooring of our house, and prepared dinner. voluntarily; never got allowance in my life. so i blew it and wondered what would happen if i stopped volunteering, since it doesnt seem to make a difference anyways. in conclusion, my mother resolved to giving me the silent treatment. ok, so i figured she was upset, so i ignored her altogether. peace and quiet. today she called me over and wondered if i noticed her ignoring me. much for the silent treatment. but why is my mom resolving to something so childish and so stupid for punishment? is it even considered punishment if i dont even take notice of it? she expects me to get irritated, and beg for forgiveness. for the record, i'm fifteen years old. it almost feels like she's using the "counting down" method for terrifying three year olds, on a teen. no, im not asking for more brutal methods of punishment. just trying to figure out my mother's unpredictable mind.

1 Answer

  • Luna
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    She's doing it because she IS being childish: probably because she doesn't know how to act any other way. It's sad how sometimes we try to be nice to someone -by doing chores, favors, etc.- and then the other person starts behaving as if it were our obligation. When that happens, the joy we get from doing those things disappears and resentment steps in.

    You need to ask yourself why you do these things. Are you trying to win her approval? Are you bartering for better treatment or more liberties? Are you doing it because you want to be helpful, or are trying to win her love?

    When you do favors for others, you must never expect anything in return; that way, you'll never be disappointed. I'll so go as far as saying that it sounds like you mother expects these things from you and no, I doubt she'll change. If she doesn't want to be the mature one, then you'll have to. Explain to her that you too need to feel appreciated and that it would be nice if your relationship could improve since you only have 3 years left until you'll be considered an adult. This way, she may realize -between the lines- that once you're eighteen, you will be your own person and won't have to put up with things anymore.

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