Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 教育與參考考試 · 1 decade ago

搶救英文作文

請大家幫我修改一下我的作文吧

告訴我哪裡錯了 使文章能夠通順一些

題目: The Books I Enjoy Reading Most

Books are the best teacher of human and we can't live without them. The books I enjoy reading most are biographies. Furthermore, I like to read the biography which the charachter was hardworking and finally made their way to success.

Reading this kind of books can always inspire me to concentrate on my studies in order to learn more things. When I read their stories, I was usually happy with them, mad with them, and sad with them. Each of the story has had a influence on me and is meaningful. When I encountered some difficulties that I might depressed by them at first. Upon thinking of the celebrities' experiences, I would learn their philosophy toward life so that I could transform my attutide and felt better. In fact, reading biographies make me mature of my thoughts.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    首先, 這是我修過的版本~ 中間有些建議 或原因為什麼要這樣修. 但沒有全部都有註解. 方便提供你的信箱給我嗎? 我可以follow-up 為你解說更多.]

    Books are the best teacher(mentor?) for humans and we can't live without them. The books I enjoy the most are biographies. I like the storyline of which a person works hard and finally made their way to success. (Give an example?), (express how you feel about that person and his/her case), (what has s/he given you as a lesson- the inspiration you get?)

    Reading [this kind of books] (biographies?) can always inspire (remind?) me to concentrate on my studies in order to learn more things. When I read [example person’s] stories, my mood fluctuates with their situations, whether it’s a happy moment that I rejoice, or a sad moment that I sympathize, or even anger that triggers my sense of justice.

    Each biography has an influence on me. When I encountered difficulties that I might feel depressed at first, yet upon thinking those celebrities' experiences, I would learn their philosophies[celebrities' = agree the noun] toward life so that I could adjust my attitude and feel better. Reading biographies help mature my thoughts.

    我的疑問./建議有幾點:D =

    -首先, 我想請問這個題目是老師訂的還是自己訂的呢?

    The books I enjoy the most; 可能會比較順

    -stick to the topic of biographies / or talk about love of books/reading generally?

    再來是, 你想討論的是 love of books/reading in general, 還是只narrow到biographies? 作文是可以一開始籠統的講為什麼喜愛閱讀 你的開頭很好:D 我很喜歡^^ 不過我會把老師進一步修辭成導師...

    Furthermore 在講了一句話後還是要說類似的補充就不太需要. 所以可以接下去.

    inspire 換成 提醒remind, 是因為我覺得你沒有領悟到新的東西讓你去專心去學更多. 所以提醒感覺比較恰當.

    我把你的心情過程用 "fluctuate/follow" 去寫~ fluctuate意指隨著某東西變化.^^ (例. 天氣)

    後面的話 你用了籠統的"celebrities' " 來做你的subject. 那philosophies 要同意你用的複數 (noun agreement).

    transform 的用意我了解, 只是通常我們會直接說 adjust or change. Mature 本身是一個動詞~ 使某東西成熟. (for example, fruit.)

    我先寫到這裡 等等要上課><" 希望這樣還可以

    如你希望可以聯絡我~ 或我再為你做補充! :D

    Source(s): me :)
  • 1 decade ago

    The Books I Enjoy Reading Most

    ~這應該是你"最愛的書的種類"

    如果改成"The Kind of Books I Enjoy Reading Most"呢?

    I was usually happy with them, mad with them, and sad with them.

    ~你是因為書的內容而有心情上的波折

    所以我認為改成" I usually became happy, angry(mad有點激烈了......), and sad with

    them.

    was感覺不太像因外力而改變

    became會給人一種"因內容而情緒有所起伏"的感覺

    其他應該沒啥問題

    以我的程度看不太出來

    別怪我啊......我國中都還沒畢業

    Source(s): 自己
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