首先, 這是我修過的版本~ 中間有些建議 或原因為什麼要這樣修. 但沒有全部都有註解. 方便提供你的信箱給我嗎? 我可以follow-up 為你解說更多.]
Books are the best teacher(mentor?) for humans and we can't live without them. The books I enjoy the most are biographies. I like the storyline of which a person works hard and finally made their way to success. (Give an example?), (express how you feel about that person and his/her case), (what has s/he given you as a lesson- the inspiration you get?)
Reading [this kind of books] (biographies?) can always inspire (remind?) me to concentrate on my studies in order to learn more things. When I read [example person’s] stories, my mood fluctuates with their situations, whether it’s a happy moment that I rejoice, or a sad moment that I sympathize, or even anger that triggers my sense of justice.
Each biography has an influence on me. When I encountered difficulties that I might feel depressed at first, yet upon thinking those celebrities' experiences, I would learn their philosophies[celebrities' = agree the noun] toward life so that I could adjust my attitude and feel better. Reading biographies help mature my thoughts.
The books I enjoy the most; 可能會比較順
-stick to the topic of biographies / or talk about love of books/reading generally?
再來是, 你想討論的是 love of books/reading in general, 還是只narrow到biographies? 作文是可以一開始籠統的講為什麼喜愛閱讀 你的開頭很好:D 我很喜歡^^ 不過我會把老師進一步修辭成導師...
Furthermore 在講了一句話後還是要說類似的補充就不太需要. 所以可以接下去.
inspire 換成 提醒remind, 是因為我覺得你沒有領悟到新的東西讓你去專心去學更多. 所以提醒感覺比較恰當.
我把你的心情過程用 "fluctuate/follow" 去寫~ fluctuate意指隨著某東西變化.^^ (例. 天氣)
後面的話 你用了籠統的"celebrities' " 來做你的subject. 那philosophies 要同意你用的複數 (noun agreement).
transform 的用意我了解, 只是通常我們會直接說 adjust or change. Mature 本身是一個動詞~ 使某東西成熟. (for example, fruit.)
我先寫到這裡 等等要上課><" 希望這樣還可以
如你希望可以聯絡我~ 或我再為你做補充! :D