UNsafe co-sleep like unsafe independent sleeping is unsafe. Safe co-sleeping is safe and please note that the term co-sleeping includes both bedsharing and room sharing.
Ask him to see the stats, often they include things like drunk parents and parents accidentally falling asleep in unsafe locations like chairs and water beds. If you fall asleep while driving and crash the car and the baby dies that doesn't make carseats unsafe does it?
Also at 6 months your baby isn't going to quietly let you smother them, seriously. And at 6 months the risks of SIDS drops. Many of those against co-sleeping state its safe after 4-6 months.
CO-SLEEPING: YES, NO, SOMETIMES?
Sleeping through the Night
Why babies should never sleep alone: A review
of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS,
bedsharing and breast feeding
James J. McKenna* and Thomas McDade
We will examine the conceptual issues
related to the biological functions of mother–infant co-sleeping, bedsharing and what
relationship each has to SIDS. At very least, we hope that the studies and data described
in this paper, which show that co-sleeping at least in the form of roomsharing especially
with an actively breast feeding mother saves lives, is a powerful reason why the simplistic,
scientifically inaccurate and misleading statement ‘never sleep with your baby’ needs to
be rescinded, wherever and whenever it is published.
The Benefits of Co-Sleeping
If *YOU* and only *YOU* want your baby out of your bed:
PS of course your baby will mature in all ways -including needing you at night. I don't want to jinx it but for two nights now my older child hasn't come into our bed at all. We did N-O-T-H-I-N-G to encourage or force this.
"You can't train a child one way for years and then all of a sudden expect them to take to something else with it being very hard!"
Really now? So from day one we should make baby use a toilet, walk, feed himself, and talk?
I mean really if you don't force a child to force feed from birth its hard to get them to do it later... oh wait nearly all kids start self-feeding all on their own if you just leave them be.
Show me ONE 16 year old that still nurses to sleep or sleeps with mom.
For some strange reason we tend to think that to satisfy a child's need is to make it into an unbreakable habit, where in truth the exact opposite is true.6
When our children develop a "good" habit, one that suits us, we are afraid it is not going to last. But when our children develop a "bad" habit, one that does not suit us, we are afraid it is going to last forever. So many people are afraid that their children will not grow up. We are told to feed them solids with a spoon at three weeks of age, lest babies will never learn to eat solids, let alone with a spoon. We are told to toilet train them when they are one year old or they will never quit wearing diapers. We are told to begin to discipline them at one month, otherwise they will never listen to us. We are told that children must always sleep in their own bed or they will always want to sleep with us. It is commonly believed that babies need to be weaned by the mother. And yet when weaning is left totally up to the child, it happens in a natural, healthy, and relaxed way. At the time the child no longer needs direct physical contact with his mother, then he weans himself from the breast. Likewise, parents' experiences indicate that the healthy child will wean himself in time from the parental bed.
Children should be given the credit that, provided the home environment is healthy, they will mature. As each need is fulfilled at each stage, they will move on and become more mature. (We did. Let's hope.)
It will be found that one phase passes into another, and another, and another. Please trust that in a sound surrounding the child will graduate from each stage of development.
I've been told that baby will NEVER learn to go to sleep on his own if we don't teach him...
Never?! It is normal, natural and healthy for your baby to fall asleep nursing. Nursing babies fall asleep so quickly - how can anything so perfectly designed be worrisome? I've read a lot about babies' sleep patterns, and I've talked to many moms about this. Both my reading, my personal experience, and the experiences of other moms has convinced me that falling asleep without nursing is a developmental milestone that your baby will reach when he is ready. The first step often comes when your baby starts to nurse to sleep then stops nursing, rolls away and goes to sleep on his own. Or perhaps he will fall asleep in Daddy's arms when he's walking with him. These incidents may not happen very often at first, but they are the first step and *do* make you realize that it IS possible for baby to fall asleep by himself.
There are many babies who have been nursed to sleep and nursed during the night from birth who eventually learn to fall asleep on their own without the breast. You don't have to teach them to do this. They reach this as a milestone - when they're physically, developmentally, and emotionally ready to. You can try to speed this process along by putting baby to bed before he's asleep, but always nursing him to sleep will *not* keep him from learning this on his own. My daughter started to occasionally fall asleep on her own (or with her Dad) when she was around 11-12 months. Knowing that she *could* go to sleep without me right there really helped, even though she didn't do it too often. As time passes, she's fallen asleep without nursing more and more. We did not "teach" her to do this, or even particularly encourage it. It has simply been a natural developmental progression that came about as *she* was ready for it.
· 1 decade ago