Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 1 decade ago

Co-Sleeping Not Approved?

My daughter's pediatrician knows that we co-sleep. He's never said anything other than the AAP recommends babies sleeping on their backs alone in a crib. Yesterday at her 6 month check-up he asked me if we are still co-sleeping. I said yes. He went on a huge rant about how awful co-sleeping is, gave me a bunch of stats about deaths and said that co-sleeping causes more deaths than SIDS. He also said that two of his patients died recently while co-sleeping. I'm very confused. What do you all suggest. Is it really that awful to co-sleep? If it isn't good to co-sleep, how do I transition her to her crib without causing her too much grief?


Suggestions other than the CIO method please and thank you

22 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    UNsafe co-sleep like unsafe independent sleeping is unsafe. Safe co-sleeping is safe and please note that the term co-sleeping includes both bedsharing and room sharing.

    Ask him to see the stats, often they include things like drunk parents and parents accidentally falling asleep in unsafe locations like chairs and water beds. If you fall asleep while driving and crash the car and the baby dies that doesn't make carseats unsafe does it?

    Also at 6 months your baby isn't going to quietly let you smother them, seriously. And at 6 months the risks of SIDS drops. Many of those against co-sleeping state its safe after 4-6 months.


    Sleeping through the Night

    Why babies should never sleep alone: A review

    of the co-sleeping controversy in relation to SIDS,

    bedsharing and breast feeding

    James J. McKenna* and Thomas McDade

    We will examine the conceptual issues

    related to the biological functions of mother–infant co-sleeping, bedsharing and what

    relationship each has to SIDS. At very least, we hope that the studies and data described

    in this paper, which show that co-sleeping at least in the form of roomsharing especially

    with an actively breast feeding mother saves lives, is a powerful reason why the simplistic,

    scientifically inaccurate and misleading statement ‘never sleep with your baby’ needs to

    be rescinded, wherever and whenever it is published.

    The Benefits of Co-Sleeping


    If *YOU* and only *YOU* want your baby out of your bed:


    PS of course your baby will mature in all ways -including needing you at night. I don't want to jinx it but for two nights now my older child hasn't come into our bed at all. We did N-O-T-H-I-N-G to encourage or force this.

    "You can't train a child one way for years and then all of a sudden expect them to take to something else with it being very hard!"

    Really now? So from day one we should make baby use a toilet, walk, feed himself, and talk?

    I mean really if you don't force a child to force feed from birth its hard to get them to do it later... oh wait nearly all kids start self-feeding all on their own if you just leave them be.

    Show me ONE 16 year old that still nurses to sleep or sleeps with mom.

    For some strange reason we tend to think that to satisfy a child's need is to make it into an unbreakable habit, where in truth the exact opposite is true.6

    When our children develop a "good" habit, one that suits us, we are afraid it is not going to last. But when our children develop a "bad" habit, one that does not suit us, we are afraid it is going to last forever. So many people are afraid that their children will not grow up. We are told to feed them solids with a spoon at three weeks of age, lest babies will never learn to eat solids, let alone with a spoon. We are told to toilet train them when they are one year old or they will never quit wearing diapers. We are told to begin to discipline them at one month, otherwise they will never listen to us. We are told that children must always sleep in their own bed or they will always want to sleep with us. It is commonly believed that babies need to be weaned by the mother. And yet when weaning is left totally up to the child, it happens in a natural, healthy, and relaxed way. At the time the child no longer needs direct physical contact with his mother, then he weans himself from the breast. Likewise, parents' experiences indicate that the healthy child will wean himself in time from the parental bed.

    Children should be given the credit that, provided the home environment is healthy, they will mature. As each need is fulfilled at each stage, they will move on and become more mature. (We did. Let's hope.)

    It will be found that one phase passes into another, and another, and another. Please trust that in a sound surrounding the child will graduate from each stage of development.

    I've been told that baby will NEVER learn to go to sleep on his own if we don't teach him...

    Never?! It is normal, natural and healthy for your baby to fall asleep nursing. Nursing babies fall asleep so quickly - how can anything so perfectly designed be worrisome? I've read a lot about babies' sleep patterns, and I've talked to many moms about this. Both my reading, my personal experience, and the experiences of other moms has convinced me that falling asleep without nursing is a developmental milestone that your baby will reach when he is ready. The first step often comes when your baby starts to nurse to sleep then stops nursing, rolls away and goes to sleep on his own. Or perhaps he will fall asleep in Daddy's arms when he's walking with him. These incidents may not happen very often at first, but they are the first step and *do* make you realize that it IS possible for baby to fall asleep by himself.

    There are many babies who have been nursed to sleep and nursed during the night from birth who eventually learn to fall asleep on their own without the breast. You don't have to teach them to do this. They reach this as a milestone - when they're physically, developmentally, and emotionally ready to. You can try to speed this process along by putting baby to bed before he's asleep, but always nursing him to sleep will *not* keep him from learning this on his own. My daughter started to occasionally fall asleep on her own (or with her Dad) when she was around 11-12 months. Knowing that she *could* go to sleep without me right there really helped, even though she didn't do it too often. As time passes, she's fallen asleep without nursing more and more. We did not "teach" her to do this, or even particularly encourage it. It has simply been a natural developmental progression that came about as *she* was ready for it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like your pediatrician has an anti-co-sleeping agenda!

    As for transitioning to the crib and not having her in your bed directly, does your crib have a drop down side that removes? We have convertible cribs and when my girls were that age and we were still co-sleeping, they slept in their crib but it was a sidecar off the side of our bed so they were in their own "safe" area but still close to us.

    I don't think co-sleeping is dangerous if done safely. \

    I think I would just lie to him next time he asks if he rants and raves about it.

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  • Wendy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Do whatever works best for you guys, she is your child.. I don't do co sleeping because my husband is a wild sleeper and I would be to afraid but if it has been working for you with no issues then keep doing it. If you do decide to go to the crib start with naps then work your way to night sleeping's it will be difficult at first no matter what.

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is such a tough one. Yes babies do die when they co - sleep but some mums snap when they don't get enough sleep. You have to weigh it up and do what is best for your family. I co-slept with both of mine but there was an incident in the local area of a baby dying because dad rolled on him. My youngest was 12 months by then. I think your doc has re-thought his advice in the light of what he has seen. I imagine he thinks he would be facing a law suit if he said it was fine and your baby did die. Do it safely, don't cover the baby with a duvet don't have them in the middle, make sure there is a barrier or soft landing in case they fall out of bed. Don't have them in with you if you are extremely tired, have been drinking or smoking or have taken meds of any kind that may make you drowsy. Good luck x

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  • 1 decade ago

    I certainly don't agree with him trying to scare you into doing something differently(i.e. telling you about previous patients that have died from it). Not very professional!

    If you are co-sleeping correctly then it shouldn't be an issue. I'm sure you know not to have heaving bedding around baby's head, not to drink before co-sleeping, not to be on any strong medications, etc. As long as you are using common sense while doing this then it CAN be safe.

    I co-slept with our son when we first brought him home and still do on occasion when he wakes during the night. We have never had an issue with it and it helps him sleep better at times. I say do whatever works for you and your family.

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  • *Tina*
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You know we are one of the few countries that thinks co-sleeping is "BAD." If you are extremely over weight, on drugs, drunk and a very heavy sleeper then co-sleeping might not be a good option. I have actually never heard of anyone that I know that has killed their baby while co-sleeping. I don't even know anyone who knows anyone. I only hear that someone, knew someone, or read something. But I do know about 5 people who have lost a baby due to SIDs. My husband lost a cousin due to SIDs.

    Your doctor is their to check her health not to be giving you advise on parenting. My doctor kinda does the same thing, but not to that extent. She just say, You know they recommend babies sleep in their own bed, but it's your choice and I can't tell you not to sleep with your baby. And she leaves it at that. Unless you are hurting your child then I really think it's a personal choice. I co-sleep and it works for me and my family. I am a very light sleeper and you know your baby is there, even while you sleep.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Got to love all these answers that think SIDS and suffocation are the same thing. Serious, My son and I are co-sleepers and haven't ever had one problem. It's like I can sense where he is, even when I'm sleeping. I agree that you should do what is best for you and your family. Don't let someone pressure you into changing what works for you.

    I do move my son to his crib in the middle of the night so he can wake up there, just so I can get him used to it. It's worked for me so far and he seems to enjoy it.

    Source(s): My son's doctor co-sleeps with her infant son!
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  • ???
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I think the importance is in making sure the bed is as safe as a crib surface would be. Free of bulky items, a flat surface instead of a thick pillowtop, etc. And, it's important that everyone in your bed be able to wake up easily. If it's making you nervous, but you don't want to change completely, you can use a sidecar attachment. It's like a minicrib that hooks onto the side of your bed.

    Good luck.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    what a load of bull.

    Tell your Paed to be concerned with the childs health - you will take care of all other aspects.

    Co-sleeping - when done safely - is perfectly fine.


    ''Why did they forget to mention that safe cosleeping actually reduces bed deaths??

    The crib industry (JPMA) provided a large forum for the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) to announce this report. Unfortunately, no comparative statistics are provided in their announcements, and even the statistics they report are admittedly anecdotal and irregular. While the report supposedly left out the adult bed deaths that were diagnosed as SIDS (versus accidents), the determination between suffocation and SIDS is often a judgment call. Suffocation in a crib is more often reported as SIDS, while suffocation in an adult bed is reported as "death by adult bed."

    The actual SIDS statistics were not measured. Why? Several well-designed research studies demonstrate that SIDS is actually reduced in babies cosleeping along with an aware, protective (non-smoking, non-drug-impaired) mother in a safe bed. Such an announcement would not sell cribs.

    The numbers in the largest study on cosleeping around the world suggest that safe cosleeping reduces SIDS!''

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  • 1 decade ago

    Get a new ped if you can, this one is telling you a lot of nonsense. Co-sleeping, when done safely, is much more beneficial to a baby than sleeping alone. Don't worry about what he thinks, do what feels right for you and your baby. If (eventually) you'll want your little one sleeping in her own bed, try suggestions from "The no-cry sleep solutions" by Elizabeth Pantley, it's a great book

    Source(s): happily co-sleeping with my 10 months old
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I co-sleep with my daughter, and we've had no problems.

    I've actually read it DECREASES the risk of SIDS & other problems.

    I also think some of you need to do your research, if the proper safety precautions are followed co-sleeping DOES NOT increase the risk for SIDS.

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