Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

depression? or just bored? or really really unhappy?

I'm 16 and I don’t think I have any reason to be depressed but lately I can't get to sleep. And when I get to sleep, I would want to stay asleep and inside my dreams. I used to love writing a lot, but ever since I figured that I may have sucked in it, I stopped putting thoughts in paper. I never was the best student in school, but I rarely made below a c on a report card. Last year was my junior year and from the beginning, I had problems remembering things. It got to the point where I forgot to spell easy words, where my grammar deteriorates causing me to feel really worthless. I often have trouble remembering things that were just said to me, or concentration in what’s happening around me. I don't have thoughts of suicide, but I do feel worthless. At first playing the computer was my refuge but recently, I lost interest in it, too.

My parents were always fighting and I seemed to be numbed about it now. But it gets me down because sometimes my parents take their anger out on me. They shout at me for the simplest mistake. I don’t talk to my family members anymore and I feel so suffocated just staying at home this summer. I never used to cry a lot but when I stumbled upon a depression quiz in the web the other day, tears just started to pour out.

They say the way to treat depression is to talk to someone about it, but I don’t have anyone I think is trustworthy enough to talk to. My family is very…strict and realistic.

They don’t believe in mental problems at all. Heck, if I told them they might even think I’m just making it up to get their attention. I don’t talk to my friends either, they kept emailing me, trying to get in touch with me, but for some reason I kept avoiding them. I’m even tried making up excuses once in awhile just so they won’t get mad.

I don’t know what made me like this. I feel so worthless and hopeless. Especially about my future… I’m taking exams for college applications soon and I haven’t even studied a single thing. I keep hoping that it’ll just somehow disappear but it won’t.

I feel so hopeless and uncared for. I don’t have suicidal thoughts but I have thoughts on moving out and living on my own. Sometimes I sleep in the morning just because I want to stay up all night listening to the silence… I feel like no one can help me and that’s why I just feel so alone…

What hurts the most is that the symptoms I read were all true… especially about the concentrating and remembering things…

Because then I start to think about my future, how am I going to get to a college and everything just go blank. I have no future at all. There’s this feeling that thinking about the future is stupid anyway because I won’t succeed in trying to make one because I can’t concentrate on anything…

So now all I’m doing is just sit around, trying to get myself interested in surfing the web again. I know I’m making it far worse but I just can’t bring myself to talk to someone about it and make a difference.

8 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You could be suffering from depression, which is quite treatable. If you think you are depressed, you need to talk to a doctor about it.

    You could also just be suffering from a "poor me" and "feeling sorry for yourself" state of mind. If so, that is also treatable, but only by an attitude adjustment on your part. You are in charge of your life.

    I am never bored, but when I need something to do I play a computer game (scrabble, mah jong or bridge for me), read a book or magazine, do crossword puzzles or sudoku, listen to music, watch a movie, write in a journal, play a board game, or answer questions here on yahoo answers. Other options, depending on my mood might be to cook something, clean the house, go for a walk, work out, call a friend, send emails, visit someone, or even go shopping.

    Writing in a journal is an interesting thing to do, especially when you go back weeks or months or even years later and read what you wrote. Buy yourself an interesting blank journal that represents who you are, and start writing your daily thoughts, ideas, and important events. You'll be surprised at how quickly you will look forward to the time you spend with it each day. And it could become a powerful record for posterity.

    Look for a new hobby. Find something that is of particular interest to you. Possibly you might like to begin researching and compiling your family tree. I am sure many members of your family would encourage you with a project such as that. A couple of other things that come to mind that I have found interesting in the past, and they now occupy my grandchildren are learning to do origami (read the story about Sadako and the 1000 paper cranes, and maybe start a paper crane project of your own), and another is learning to tie different knots (most book stores will have a book on the different knots, and it is quite interesting, and also a very useful skill to have).

    Take a class - learn the finer points of digital photography, painting, writing short stories, small appliance repair, playing bridge, dog grooming, pottery, home maintenance, carpentry, plumbing, quilting, scrapbooking, or anything else that is offered in your area. Often you can find classes that are free, or almost free.

    Finally, and probably most importantly, if you find yourself bored often, consider volunteering. It will give you a new focus in your life, and it is a good feeling to help someone less fortunate or more in need than yourself. It can be a life changing experience.

    Boredom is a choice you make, not a state of existence. If you are bored, it is because you are allowing yourself to be bored. Look around you. Most likely you have books, and a wide variety of other possessions. Look at the things around you and think of ways to use them. If there are people around you, think of ways to help those people. Think of others and how to help them, not yourself, and you will never be bored.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    about 5 years ago, I started to fall into a really depressive episode. At first I thought it was only because I had a bad break from a relationship but the feelings wouldn't go away even after I got a new girlfriend. It was wrecking my life until a point where it was seriously affecting my work and personal life.

    She was very worried but at the same time couldn't understand why I was still sad and thought that I still couldn't let go of my previous relationship. Being the wonderful person that she is, she put aside her feelings and suggested I go for psychiatric evaluation. Many months later and even more anti-depressants, I was not coming close to being better at all.

    After doing some research online, I found out the real cause as you described it really makes a lot of sense and purchased this program. The results were simply astonishing. I read this book over three times and put all words in action. Using this method, I've kept my depression at bay ever since. Up to date I'm still living happily with my girlfriend.

    Depression Free Method?

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't sit at your computer or watch TV. Get up and DO something. Help around the house. Do work around the neighborhood, or find employment elsewhere. Find any constructive way to be away from home as much as possible. In these ways and more you can become self reliant and have reason to not care as much on a personal level about your parents or anybody else, for that matter. Physical activity of any sort tends to dissipate depression, but the main point is to make your own life better through positive action.

  • 1 decade ago

    What you have is a combonation of several things includeing depression, anxiety, stress,.. some other things,.. with the added bonus of the Economy.

    Some of the things you are feeling are normal for your situation,.. no matter your family and their influence. Some things are enviornmental,.. that means the people and things you are exposed to every day. Some things are the Economy.

    You absolutely DO NOT want to take meds. They will knock your Permenante state down a couple levels. They can make a little better temp, but they are damageing and besides that once you come off of them you are lower then you were before.

    What you do need is Theropy, Outlets, Friends, Rest, Breaks,..

    I'm assumeing you are a Senior this year, based on all you said, it's normal for people to take a year or two off from school between High School and College. There are numerous programs like this, they usually have Year some where in their name or One Year. These programs are usually "community service" style activities. You may help children that live in your neighborhood, or the elderly in your city, or you could even travel to other states to build houses, or even travel to other countries to deliver food and just be a friend to someone else in a bad situation.

    Unfortunately, these things don't always work into plans your parents have for you. But, to let you know,.. anyone in any field you talk to is going to tell you " You're 18,.. MOVE OUT!" Which is a simple suggestion, but they will in no way support you. However, when you start college.. there are programs to find houseing, assist in houseing, or even Apartment Complexes that give free houseing to College students. They are just usually unknown to the average person.. and they can be tricky to find ( start out by contacting houseing for low and no income, they some times also have the college student programs and expect Zero dollars from students attending a certain number of hours each week to school).

    You should find an outlet for when you are upset,.. games are good for that.. even just the ones where you pop bubble wrap. You also need some socialization.. that you aren't getting from your friends right now. But of course vetning is good, too.

    What I do is I give noone information about my personal self beyond basics ( some people will go as far as age but that's the limit) while I am online. I have several reasons for this includeing safety but being some what annonomous also helps disconnect from people around me ( if someone a block away talked to me, they wouldn't know). I use my online self to talk about my problems to others. If I ever felt uncomfortable, I can just close the conversation or take some time on another account depending on how I felt uncomfortable.

    You may also want to role play. When everything is tensed up and your subconcious isn't getting enough time, creativity and a fantasy life help you unwind quickly. This doesn't mean sexual Role Play, this for some people is they are a 6 year old in character, doing things a 6 year old would.. because some times they were in the hospital when they were sick. Or they are a 14 year old and they are head cheerleader and in a band.. because they missed some years of high school. Or they are an 18 year old girl, just trying to work on some projects for school.. because they are really an 18 year old boy.. and this is how they can switch out of reality just long enough to work on their real projects for school.. and while they are in character it is easier for them to brain storm.. and they are not ashamed to ask for help when in reality it is looked down upon because they are ADD, male, and their family doesn't understand them.

    Other things may be more complicated.

    You may want to look into earplugs to help you sleep.. because even if you got sleep meds.. and there was any noise.. you might get up and sleep walk with holusinations. You also have too much on your mind and the only way to get rid of it is to get it off your chest, work it out in a scenerio, or for it to be blanked out of your brain. Blanking out is what meds might do.. and your brain is already doing that.. so the meds would make things much worse.

    I can only recommend a game for a creative outlet and for socialization. It likely will be too much to think about at this time of the year. I don't know what kind of outlet would suit you best for some other things.. there are too many types of online games and some times you need to do physical things to get stuff out of your system.

    I don't expect this to be helpful at this time because you have to think a bit to learn it.. and you are already burdened by so much on your mind. There is a game called It has both Adult world and Teen World. Adult world does not mean a porn world, just that they are trying to keep the pediophiles away from the kids. The teen world may require a Credit Card or form of ID to help ward off Pediophiles.

    Feel free to contact me on Y!M,.. just say if you will as an additional comment and I can stay up longer. I don't mind if you don't, especially since so many people will probably ask this of you. I would wonder if you have any Learning Disablities,.. but to be honest anyone with sleep deprivation has the symptoms you are describeing.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    this could be depression and/or hormones. if you are bored - go and find a small part time job, this will make good self esteem, go and participate in a group sport or just go for a run. moving out will make you feel more alone - believe me. talk to your school councilor - it may be hard - but you will thank your self for it. good luck with your parents and soldier on - by the way - congratulations on not having suicidal thoughts :)

  • 1 decade ago

    It does sound like Depression to me, but then I'm not a doctor, just someone who has experience with it. As you probably know even a doctor can't diagnose you over the net. Did you try the test that you came across? There are some really good indicator tests out there:

    I know that a lot of people say that when you have Depression you should just pull yourself out of it, or start thinking positively, but the truth is, when you're actually suffering from it, this is seemingly impossible. The illness itself can make you feel so unmotivated, so hopeless and unworthy that it's a real struggle to become motivated enough to fight it. That said, there are things you can do to get your life back on track.

    I think you need support. If your family won't give it to you (very sad that people still think this way, but unfortunately there is still a lot of ignorance out there towards mental illness, and depression is possibly one of the most misunderstood), then please, go somewhere else. I think sometimes we just need to kick and scream until we get the help we need. It's so easy to become overwhelmed by our problems and suffer in silence, but it's not going to get us any help. Try talking to a trusted teacher. Do you have a school counselor or nurse or psych? If you do, please don't hesistate to go to them. It would be really good if you could manage you see your doctor, but considering your age and lack of parental support, I know this might not be possible.

    It's so common for people with Depression to avoid or even drive away their friends. It's hard to maintain relationships when you're already struggling to function by yourself, and often even going out with friends or speaking on the phone will feel like a chore. Unfortunately, eventually they tend to think that they're getting the cold shoulder, and they drop out of your life, and you end up feeling more alone than ever.

    You could try joining an online depression/mental health forum, as there are some good ones out there, and sometimes even just writing your thoughts and feelings down can be a relief:

    I don't know where you live, but you could try looking up your local depression/mental health hotline? Or feel free to message me telling me what country/state you're in, and I'll do it for you.

    As well as doing this, make sure that, as hard as it is, you try to keep up reasonably healthy eating/sleeping/exercise habits. It has been proven to help, and will lower the likelihood of something else contributing to your moods and symptoms.

    So many famous people struggled with depression all of their lives and still managed many great things:

    Major Depressive Disorder/Clinical Depression often goes away, with or without treatment. About half of those with Clinical Depression who recover remain well and don't ever suffer from it again. Some will experience it once or twice again. And even those who suffer from it long-term often find a way to cope and live a fulfilled life. If this does not go away for you, as you get older your options will become more varied. When your parents can no longer control these matters, you will be able to freely seek out psychotherapy, and try medication, if you so choose.

    One thing I have found helpful is surrounding myself with things that appeal to me, remind myself of dreams and goals that I once aspired to, and come up with things that I could still look forward to - no matter how small or insignificant. I buy copies of books I love and which reminded me of what I want to do in life. I listen to a lot of music which helps me sometimes too.

    If there's anything else I can do, message and let me know. Best wishes!

    Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

    -Mark Twain

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Get involved in something like helping out in animals' home or a zoo. You willl not feel insecured because these are just animals who need someone to take care of them.

  • 1 decade ago

    you are your own worst enemy. if i pushed you in your face, you wouldnt let me, you would fight back. you are the only one who can pull yourself out of this. if you want to quit being depressed do something about it. no one will save you, only you can do that. you can determine what you want to do and be. you dont sound motivated and thats cool, cuz there are really times in life, when youre really like, "what am i doing?" its up to you to decide what you want for yourself, but dont beat yourself up too much, dust yourself off and figure things out for you.

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