4. you have some good techniques, however the reality which you're attempting to be humorous drags your score down. in case you wrote a serious poem I wager you may desire to get a 6 or 7 out of me. broken down, particularly some the strains are truthfully particularly good, and you're no longer a a million/2 undesirable poet. yet all mutually, rhyming each and every line in basic terms makes you sound un-resourceful and it would not flow besides anymore. My favourite line is - "permit me provide help to pull with the aid of, This cruel virus no person knew." i might desire to verify that for the duration of a real revealed poem. yet another ingredient is which you contradict your self. you're saying "till now you die from swine flu", such as you're constructive they are going to die, yet then you definately say "this epidemic canno't take you", like this is it? it extremely is complicated. i might advice you to sit down down and write a serious poem and end antagonizing human beings, this is what i think of your objective replaced into. you'll be suprised at your genuine ability. additionally, you lack description + this is all a third graders vocabulary. Vamp it up somewhat!! bypass in-intensity approximately how the flu eats away at your lungs or despite it does, how human beings lay gasping of their beds for their very final breaths, suffering with with loss of life. upload some image issues in there or it extremely is not poetry. good poetry handling loss of life many times has gore in it.