What do you think of vow renewals?
I've noticed a lot of people on here talking about having a vow renewal after 5 or 10 years of marriage. I personally think there should be no such thing until AT LEAST 20 years. What are your thoughts on this?
- Anonymous1 decade agoBest Answer
I agree with you. I don't really understand what people are "renewing" Your vows you take on your wedding day are supposed to last for the rest of your lives. I think it sounds like their are problems in the marriage when people feel the need to renew them. I think its perfectly acceptable to have a large anniversary party for the silver and gold anniversary, but no need for a vow renewal ceremony.
- 4 years ago
To my thinking, it depends on a couple of things. If this vow renewal is simply a way to have the nice dress-up wedding they didn't have when they originally married, sure, why not bring a gift and consider it a wedding gift? On the other hand, if they had the bells and whistles the first time, a card is sufficient. Personally, I think anniversary parties which include vow renewal ceremonies are much more appropriate for milestones that took a while to achieve, say, 25th or 50th.
- amyhpeteLv 71 decade ago
I think it's ridiculous for five years. Ten would not be so bad, especially as a way to get all the wedding party/old friends together.
My husband and I almost did one with just us and the kids and the pastor for our 15th. It was after our separation when we reconciled, but I realized we didn't need the ceremony to re-start our marriage, and it just felt awkward having the kids involved in a reconciliation/renewal ceremony when we'd been going well for several months at that point, so we skipped it.
Now my in-laws are more supportive of us being and staying together, so we may have something for our 20th (we're coming up on 17 now).
In general, if it's a gift grab or a try at a "second wedding" I think it's in terrible taste. If it's a celebration, paid for by the couple, with no expectation of gifts or anything but good wishes from any guests, then I think it's lovely, but not until at least 10 years, or for a reconciliation after a long separation that might have ended in divorce but ended in another chance.
- nova_queen_28Lv 71 decade ago
Except in very rare circumstances (like eloping due to deployment in the military then having a 5yr vow renewal that is a big to-do), I'm with you.
My Aunt & Uncle didn't do a vow renewal for their 50th, but they had a blessing in church during regular mass and then their kids threw them a big party that night.
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- AshleyLv 41 decade ago
seriously lots of people have been doing it within a year, like my parents, they had a civil at first and then a church wedding months later, i think that as long as the people are in love with each other, they can marry each other as many times as they want, i don't see any problem why you're only supposed to renew your vows later if you want to do it way earlier.
- y2-y1Lv 51 decade ago
Well, I had one - just me, my husband and an officiant on our 20th wedding anniversary in Hawaii. It was great!
For those of you who don't get it, wait until you have been through 20 years of marriage (or more) and see how much you have gone through and how far you have come as a couple. THEN tell me you don't get it. I was very happy to say those vows again and truly still feel it in my heart. OK and being in Hawaii didn't hurt anything either!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Everyone different and every situation different. If someone want to renew their vows after 10 years and less then go for it.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think 10 years is fine, but I live and let live. If people didn't get to have a big happy wedding, then 10-20 years down the road, by all means knock yourself out. You're only given one life, live it to the fullest.
My personal opinion is I'm making sure to do as many things "right"(personal tastes) with my wedding so I never have to re-do one again LoL.
We're all different and I'm not going to look at another person and be all "yuck, why are they doing this with THEIR life??" I'm just not much of a busybody or judgmental person...Source(s): b2b 5-9-09
- Anonymous1 decade ago
STAR: Marriage is a commitment to each other ! Anything which is within the marriage and makes the union stronger is always good..Marriage is also a personal thing and should be between each other.. That which keeps the LOVE fresh and alive between those individuals is also to be cultivated..That which is done for SHOW,,is not productive and self-fooling. When your marriage is strong and good, you don't need to have external reaffirming events or statements to realize how good your marriage is.. And to Re-new vows for presents,,well that's certainly not in good TASTE if nothing else. If one were to want to make a social event of it, that would be fine,,as long as it were made clear,,NO PRESENTS !! It is good to celebrate your years of marriage,,and feel happy about the marital success within your union. Marriage is a two way street, and loving and sharing is worth more and more with every passing year.. And a growing and loving Union is worth more than anything any of us will ever attain here on earth of a material nature !! To each his own,,but the marriage itself is the celebration.. SCOTTY
- Lainey RLv 51 decade ago
I think it all depends on the situation...
But then again, I'm biased, because of MY situation...
I don't necessarily agree with people having a full out wedding, and then going and doing one "again", but I also don't judge the ones who, for one reason or other had a legal-only ceremony with little or no family attending, and who later have the finances to have the religious ceremony with everyone.
I figure, every body's got their opinion, and those that don't like the idea of a VR at 2, 5 or 10 years should just be happy they are not having to spend money on it...Source(s): Having my Religious Ceremony 9/09