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Welfare mom could use some good advice...?

Apparently, the folks at the welfare office have a problem with the fact that I can't remember all of my kids names, or exactly how many kids I have, or where I last left them, for that matter. What in the heck do they expect, for me to watch them every single second of the day?! I know they go to school, or something, some of the time; geez, I'm not a radar tracking device! I say that if they want me to know where they are every single waking moment they shouldn't have made me stop tethering them in the yard! Can you other moms out there relate?

Personally, I think the woman I spoke with was threatened by my education; I have a masters degree in flour & salt dough sculpture, which is a highly specialized field of study! My years at the Sorbonne have made me the best darn dough sculptress out there! I started out at the Ecole Normale, but was distressed to learn they would want me to teach in France after that, so it was off to the Sorbonne and dough sculpture for me! Thank God, too! These days, my erotic dough sculptures that I make from free government flour and salt, and sell at naughty lady parties under the table, are the source of my cig and beer money. Did you know that you can't buy cigarettes and beer with food stamps?! I kid you not!

I think that if the welfare department looks at me without their jealousy for my refinement and obvious superior breeding, they will see what a great mom I am! Hell, I let my kids go trick-or-treating every night, and I take exception to the comment from the social worker that they were only going door-to-door begging to get something to eat. This house is loaded with food! Jesus, the kids can gnaw on any number of dough sculptures if they're that hungry, for cryin' out loud!

The teachers at their school are no joy, either. At the last parent/teacher conference, the woman started off the meeting with, "Miss Skankstein, please don't smoke." Frickin' hell!!!! By the way, she also lectured me on my frequent use of the term, "frickin' hell", as in, "Why in the frickin' hell can't I smoke? The damn asbestos in the school walls are killin' ya faster than my nicotine!" The teacher obviously was one of those weird tree-hugger/health nut types, who like to boss everyone else around.

So you see, being a mother these days is a difficult, thankless job. I would lament more the lack of appreciation out there, but it's time for my soaps. Can some of you moms out there tell me how you deal with all the day to day aggravation of being a devoted parent?

27 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I ♥ you.

    Source(s): I now have a new parenting role model.
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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I am not sure if you have 6 or seven kids..but that doesn't matter..if i was you i would bring them to the welfare office and leave them there for whole day, so thee unappreciative workers there will learn their lesson I am sure your lovely kids don't go hungry..just look at you How they can even think that? Take the kids with you and you' ll see, all of your inquiries will be taken care of in no time

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hint hint: Food stamps won't pay for beer, but they WILL pay for the ingredients that go IN beer. And with all those kids running around, you have plenty of cheap labor to help you get a home brewerie started. With the kids busy at work, they will no longer need to attend school, thus eliminating those pesky parent-teacher meetings. If the kids get out of hand, feed them the fruits of their labor and they'll be passed out drunk in no time. Viola! Problem solved!

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  • 1 decade ago

    As far as keeping track of your kids, why not have a GPS microchip installed? LOL

    You have a Masters in flour & salt dough sculpture?? WOW!

    ROFL

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Oh my woman, you sure do have a lot of time on your hands!

    You sure are a Trip though, making me laugh, "Miss Skankstein" LOL. Trick or treating every night Damn. your great!!

    Write a book and bet you will make money with that imagination than most of us hard working non welfare mommys make.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Mam, you need serious help.

    You don't know how many kids you have popped out of your own body? What the hell?

    And yes, devoted parents make sure they know that their kids go to school. ALL THE TIME! They know where their kids are and so forth.

    It saddens me that my tax dollars go to supporting you when you can't even tell me what your children's names are, let alone how many you have.

    You should not be on welfare because it seems as if you only had children to get money from the government. This was the stupidest thing I have heard all day.

    You need to obviously re evaluate your life.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well it's kind of hard to imagine that you don't know where your children are at...

    what is something were to happen to them??

    I don't think this is a serious question but if it were you are seriously disturbed

    Source(s): sorry not in a angry mood today..
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should apply for SSDI to help with all your anxiety--ha ha ha ha

    here's your star

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ha ha--that's a good one

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    At least you're recognizing the situation--

    ha ha ha ha ha--VERY humorous!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't care what all those other up tight moms said... that was pretty funny right there, I don't care who ya are.

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