Why are formula feeders so mean to breastfeeders?

My mother calls me name such as "pig" and low class and third world country comments etc etc. Because I breastfeed my daughter. It has destroyed our relationship.

I used to come on YA to try and make myself feel better in the wrong way.

I created a new account to try and start over (not in voliation of guidelines because the 2nd account is not to solicite points).

I wanted to see if other women struggeled with criticism and other challenges with breastfeeding and I was torn apart by other users.

One user even went as far as to say I could be to blame if another mother were to harm her child!

Perhaps I was looking for a pat on the back and support for struggling and still managing to breastfeed. Perhaps I am suffering from depression.

Why do formula feeding mothers act this way toward others?

Also, I did answer a few questions such as "what is the best formula for reflux" with "breastmilk" because that is my opinion.


46 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hang in there!

    Please don't take what people say to heart too much.

    I know it's hard... especially when it's your mom. For the record, I commend you!

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  • Wow are you serious its totally the other way around n i breastfed until my son was 4 months because of his worsening reflux and i dont criticize no one for formula feeding or breastfeeding, i mean i dont even think about it it doesn't cross my mind. Also if a child has reflux the purpose for special formula is that its thickened, so why in the world would you suggest mixing with breastmilk if ok when all that's doing is watering it down, and making the formula less effective it needs toe the exact thickness of the formula to do what its intended for. To help with spitting up n choking. Even if you would mix i mean what like an ounce cuz any more would make the formula not as thick. So seriously get a clue an stop starting a rant!

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  • Well, I will give it to you. You are trying to be honest. But you have to let this issue go. I think people on here just usually defend everyone who they feel is being attacked.

    If someone asked a question about why breastfeeding mom's have to be such low class pigs... everyone would "tear them apart" also.

    Anyone who is mean to a breastfeeding mommy JUST because she breastfeeds.. is just ignorant. So there is your answer. Plain and simple. People on here however are mean to you because they perceive you as a breastfeeding bully. You didn't answer the question properly that you posted because they asked the best formula which is clearly not breast milk. You worded your other question as if those who didn't breastfeed didn't try to overcome all the obstacles they could and are somehow a worse mother.

    So instead of trying to justify your previous answers... why not just apologize and we can all move on. You will get a lot more respect out of these people and they will be more inclined to give you the support you seem to need.

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  • 4 years ago

    I do understand what you are saying, however those of us who wanted to breastfeed, and where not able to (I had a premie, and my milk never came in while she was in intensive care) also go through very negative comments from friends, family, and the medical field. I knew it was better for my baby to breast feed, and when she first came home, was in tears every day trying to get her to take my nipple, then pump, and then feed her the little that came out. By the time she had her formula and went to sleep, it was time to start the process over again. I have never felt like such a failure and the people who breastfeed made sure to compound that by telling me to keep trying, and how important it is. I think the bitterness comes from the fact that we took so much criticism from the get go for not breast feeding it hits a nerve for those of us who tried so hard. I did this for 3 months after she got home from the hospital, until finally one of my doctors told me that I did my best and that I wasn't a failure if I didn't breast feed. All the other health professionals acted like I was purposely harming my premie, and she would be very sickly. She is now 6 1/2 and has had 2 ear infections in her life, and is much healthier than all my friends who had full term babies, and breast fed. Lucky me! Hope that sheds a little light on what we dealt with from those around us.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm a postpartum nurse, so it sometimes feels like my world revolves around teaching moms to breastfeed. I have seen that people who breastfeed definitely look down on the moms who bottlefeed more than anything. I still don't see how you got the idea that it goes the other way around.

    Yes, it's difficult, it's a learning process for both mom and baby, but it drives me insane to see moms whose milk still isn't in, and they're barely even able to pump colostrum, and their baby loses way too much weight and getting jaundice, and still mom refuses to supplement.

    I don't care what you say, I don't think that a little bit of supplementation is going to hurt a child, especially when their health is obviously at risk. When you know that your baby is starving and won't calm down because of it, let it have about 5mL of a bottle, then breastfeed. You'll see that he/she will relax, and be a lot less stubborn when it comes to trying to breastfeed again.

    I'm sure that breastfeeding moms are going to have a blast giving me thumbs down, but it's just what I've noticed while working.

    And about the possible depression, talk to your OB about this and he/she can evaluate you and decide if you need to be on meds for this. Postpartum depression is a very serious matter.

    Source(s): Postpartum (mother-baby) nurse.
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  • 1 decade ago

    hello- are you seriously asking this question? or are you trying your dirty best to get a argument started on this site? you ''gloat'' about your achievements on here, about the ''challenges'' that you have overcome through breastfeeding all the time. what age is your child out of curiosity? because if your child is still a baby- you have a lot more challenging situations to come to yet, that don't involve breastfeeding. and no amount of breast-milk will help you through your ''struggles'' then. take a word of advice dear from a more experienced mother- grow up a bit! let each parent decide for themselves what is best for baby, to be honest i don't give a toss as long as a child is not malnourished.

    Source(s): i am a mother
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  • 1 decade ago

    Someone is a little confused eh? FYI it's completely the other way around. With my now 6 year old son Joshua, I tried breastfeeding at first, but he could not keep anything down, and dropped almost 3 pounds while in the hospital after birth. What was wrong? Severely lactose intolerant. He was fed soy formula and did absolutely fine. I have since had 2 more boys and they were/are formula fed as well. Formula is NOT rat poison! It is simply an alternative to breastfeeding.

    I am so aggravated by this recent "push" of breastfeeding, breastfeeding, and only breastfeeding. Excuse me, but I will feed my children however I want thank you so long as it's healthy.

    STOP OBSESSING! I, and most of my Y!A friends are sick of reading your daily rants about breastfeeding. Go away.

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  • MTJ
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Dear Julia/Fajina/Optical Illusion/Blind with out them,

    Re: Why are formula feeders so mean to breastfeeders?

    I think I speak for alot of my Y!A Mummy friends when I say this:

    1. You sound like an extremely needy person. If you are half as rude to your Mother about your choice to breastfeed as you are on here, then theres no wonder your Mother speaks so derogatory of your choices.

    2. No Mother who is properly educated on the fact of breast feeding would ever say such things to their daughter. I as a formula feeder am fully aware that breast is best, so is my Mum and she formula fed me. That is why I find these things that your Mum apparently says very hard to believe.

    3. Who are you to judge anyone on their parenting choices?

    4. You cant expect to dish out your 'opinions', when you cannot handle our 'opinions' in return.

    5. Y!A is a site for people to come to, to find advice and answers to their questions, if you can not give an educated and thorough answer, then please move on to the next question.

    6. If you feel that passionate about breastfeeding, then encourage Mothers to do it, not through pushiness, but by talking about your experiences kindly, offering advice and support.

    7. Nobody likes a gloater, and that is exactly what you have been doing in your questions. As somebody has also stated, all your questions have been asking for a pat and the back. We are all kind Mummies and give stars where they are deserved. Had you asked that question just the once, you would have had lots of nice responses, but we picked up on your multiple questions.

    8. I have no doubt that you probably are a really lovely person in real life, but unfortunately this is not coming across with your awful attitude towards mothers who formula feed.

    Parenting isn't a strict manual that needs to be followed to a tee. Sure there are things that may be better for baby, but parents shouldn't be abused for making these decisions.

    If you really do want to start afresh, then I advise that you stop asking the same question regarding you Mother, you stop having digs at formula feeding mothers and you stop answering questions that you obviously have no experience with.

    Hope to hear from you soon and thank you for taking the time to read my letter.

    Kind regards


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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am all for supporting and encouraging breastfeeding mothers. EXCEPT when they feel the need to answer questions such as "what is the best formula for reflux" with "breastmilk." If you don't have a helpful answer for the question being asked, why can't you just skip that question??? You have no idea why that person is not breastfeeding. Many people struggled with breastfeeding and are going through their own feelings of guilt as to why they were unable to breastfeed and answers like that are hurtful and rude. I would be more than happy to congratulate you on all the obstacles that you overcame regarding breastfeeding if you would just STOP BEING SO RUDE TO FORMULA FEEDING MOTHERS. IT IS THERE CHOICE TO USE FORMULA.

    Edit: Just wanted to add there there are positive ways to be a strong breastfeeding supporter. For example, look at the informative answers that mystic_eye_cda (?) gives. She is a STRONG suporter of breastfeeding, yet doesnt' go out of her way to rudely insult formula feeders. Or if you look at the answer 2 below mine from Happily Married to my Prince. She is a successful breastfeeder who overcame obstacles just like you did, but still doesn't feel the need to put down formula feeders.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I find it the other way around. Due to a medical condition I am unable to safely breastfeed. The amount of people out there who look down on mothers for not breastfeeding is massive.

    I don't really care whether you breastfeed or formula feed as long as you are feeding your child.

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  • Honestly, I didn't get any criticism for breastfeeding my daughter (and I nursed her for 2 years). Everybody encouraged me and praised me for it.

    On the other hand, I don't look down on women who formula feed. I struggled for two weeks to a months before I felt "successful" at breastfeeding. It was VERY difficult. For some reason, I just thought nursing would come naturally, but far from it! Not to mention, I was a stay at home mom so I didn't have to deal with pumping milk which I think would be a huge hassle (even though I know it's still worth it).

    I think you feel especially down about it because it's your MOTHER who disapproves. She is supposed to be there for you and encourage you, but she is doing the opposite. As a result, you feel like everyone is against you, but I guarantee you, that's not the actual case. There are so many support groups for nursing mothers.

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