a long time ago everything in my life fell apart: my relationship with a childhood sweetheart, my only sister moved to connecticut with her sociopath husband (ex now) my parents divorced and they left me to live on my own (my mom had surgery and was on medication and not acting like herself). anyways, i took a bunch of pills and blacked out. apparently i didn't do it right cuz i woke up the next day, kind of funny in retrospect. anyways, as i started blacking out and thought it was the end, i immediately saw my mom freaking out from finding me all dead, and it seemed selfish. i also thought about how my relationship had just started ( i did this at 18 and never dated anyone until then) and i realized i had a lot to live for. i started feeling depressed recently too, but i don't think suicide is a good option. if you aren't successful at it, you will be disfigured or messed up somehow. and try and put yourself in your friends and family's shoes and how they will have to deal with it. somebody out there loves you, and you are special to them, even if it doesn't feel like it. sometimes you just have to suck it up and ask people to talk to you, because people aren't mind readers, and think of how guilty they will feel thinking they didn't even have a chance to try and help you? i just bust out crying to my parents at my nephew's birthday party (still divorced which made it harder) and it actually felt good even though people were looking at me like i was insane (this was at a place called mr. biggs that's like chuck-e cheeze's for god's sake) and everyone wanted to help out. do what you have to-to get help, i don't want you to commit suicide. my husband tried and almost succeeded in high school, and he hates thinking about how his parents were so upset. if you need to talk, just e-mail me. i am depressed too, but just stick it out okay. my ninja spirit is with you!