i have never attempted to kill myself,but i had plenty of thoughts and plans. i had just started therapy last year and was on a new medicine,and had a lot of thoughts. i panicked and called my therapist the next day and was told it wasn't the medicine,it was my mind clearing up from severe depression. i had to have my husband hide my medicine bottle,because i planned to take them all at once,and then the razors and knives were put away where i couldn't find them.
i actually held a knife and a razor to my wrists and imagined cutting
myself open and ending all the pain i was carrying,but both of those times,i thought of God,and how he would hate me and give up on me and let me rot in hell. the bible says that suicide victims go to hell when they die,and i didn't want my soul to stray from God. i prayed
to him to help me and give me protection and give me love. whenever
i have those bad thoughts,which despite therapy and medicine,still happen occasionally,i pray to God and ask him for help.
only God can decide when our time is up to join him in heaven,and God also knows his plans for all his children.God knows what people can handle and i use my experience to help people. you are worthy
to God and your friends and family,just ask God for help.
also,i think suicide is selfish,and i couldn't do that to my husband who loves me more than his life,and my friends and family.