My ex-boyfriend saw me crying last night. I really just don't know what to do. Help, please.?
Okay, so my ex dumped me about a month ago. We went out for a month and 24 days, but I've been good friends with him for about a year. Before we went out, he had this girlfriend, that he pretty much was in love with. She ended up dumping him, and he went all suicidal. I helped him through that, and he asked me out. I was so happy, I liked him so much. I was really convinced he liked me. Our relationship was going great, except for the fact that him and his ex were seriously best friends. They hung out every Friday, and talked on the phone, etc. But, he was my first kiss, first makeout, everything. He said "I love you" first, and he would always tell me that I'm beautiful and he would always call me baby. I was so convinced that he liked me. Finally, I met his ex-girlfriend one day (let's call her Amy. and lets call him Bob). I went over Bob's friends house with them, and I left, and they ended up having a sleepover. Amy, Bob, and 2 other friends of his had a SLEEPOVER together, while we were going out. He later told me that they flirted.
I told him that I was uncomfortable with them being so close, and he ended up dumping me two days after I spilled myself out to him on that situation. I found out that the day after he dumped me, he asked out Amy, so I was pretty heartbroken and depressed. I cried myself to sleep for about 2 weeks.
He talked to me like 3 times after that, all of which he said he was sorry. Then I found out he broke up with Amy.
Me and his best friends (lets call the one I talk to Ben) talk a lot. We kind of flirt with eachother, too. Anyways, Ben was telling me how Bob can't get into a relationship because he feels so bad for me, and he can't stop thinking about how much he hurt me, blah blah blah.
I didn't fall for that. Then, Ben texted me and told me that him and Bob were at the spot near my house where we first made out. He was telling me how Bob wouldn't shut up about me, and that he wished he wouldn't have dumped me. I didn't fall for that either, but just in case, I was prepared to say no if he asked me out again.
So, last night, I went to a place with my best friend. I saw Ben, and all of his other friends. Then, my best friend was like "Come on, let's go find Bob!" so we went, and it was the most awkwardest thing EVER. Bob said hey to me, and I didn't really say anything back..
And when we went back where we were before, I started crying, so hard. It was horrible. Then, me and my best friend met up with them AGAIN, outside of the place. And this is where it gets all kajgdaid.
Me and my best friend were standing next to eachother, and in front of us, it was Bob, Ben, and another one of his friends, who I'm friends with, too. And, I was trying SO hard not to cry. I mean, I still like him. So then, I just saw him smiling and laughing right in front of me, and I just suddenly ran back inside without saying bye or anything, and started bawling. My best friend told me that when she saw his face, he looked so concerned and sad because he saw me crying and everything.
So then after, we went back outside, after I was done crying, and they were still there. My best friend went and talked to Bob (like meanly) and I stayed with Ben and the other friend.
My best friend told me that he told her that he was really sorry and all this other stuff. Last night, I got a text from Bob saying how sorry he was, and I didn't forgive him, but we talked, at least. He kept on saying he was sorry, and I just kept on questioning him and stuff.
I cried myself to sleep last night, too. I can't take it, I really don't know what to do. He's literally killing me emotionally, and he's doing it slowly. It hurts. I feel like I can't live without him. He was my first love. I really fell for him, and I told him that last night, and all he could manage to say was "I know. :(" I really just don't know anymore.
I want to be with him more than anything, but I can't. He said he's been living in guilt this past month, and I'm without a doubt, glad. He should be, but I still feel so hurt. I still love him. I feel like I can't get over him.
WHAT SHOULD I DO.