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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

修飾英文作文

題目是A lie I have told.

 

  When I was young,I have told a lie to my sister.One day,I ate her candy and cookies without her permission.When she found her candy and cookies disappearde,she ask me angrily."Do you see my food?"I said I didn't know where her candy and cookies are.I worried once I told her the truth,she would hurt me.I thought knew that who ate her food,but she never said anything,just standing away and looking at me in anger.Soon after,I went out and brought the cookies for her.I put it on her desk,and wrote a note with"sorry."

 

 

 

 

還有哪裡是需要修的嗎 ..

雖然我知道寫的不太好(_ _)

Update:

所以第一句沒有寫錯就還好吧 ..?是嗎

 

"(Did) you see my food?"因為東西已經不見了,用過去式

↑這句我原本也是用Did .. 可是有人把我改過來要我用Do耶 @@

 

"I thought knew that who ate her food "

這句我想要表達的是,我想她知道是誰吃了她的東西

抱歉 ... 打的不太小心,很多字都打上來多打了幾個字 = =|||

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    題目是A lie I have told.

     

      When I was young,I have told a lie to my sister.One day,I ate her candy and cookies without her permission.When she found her candy and cookies disappearde,she ask me angrily."Do you see my food?"I said I didn't know where her candy and cookies are.I worried once I told her the truth,she would hurt me.I thought knew that who ate her food,but she never said anything,just standing away and looking at me in anger.Soon after,I went out and brought the cookies for her.I put it on her desk,and wrote a note with"sorry."

    我的修改...

    When I was little(young亦可). I lied to my baby sister once. I ate her candies and cookies without asking her. When she finds out her candies and cookies were gone. She asked me angrily. ”have you seen my candies anywhere?” I told her I didn’t know where they were. I was worried that once I told her the truth, she would do something to hurt me. I think she already had a good idea who had eaten them. But she said nothing. She just looked at me with anger from corner wherever I can see her. After all, I went out and bought some cookies for her. I put them on her desk with an apology note .To tell her how sorry I was.

    基本上,您的文章是可以的,只是要留意一些細節,請將我幫您修改過的文章稍做比較,去發現不同點,這樣對您以後在寫作時也會有幫助!另外,在寫作時,盡量避免不斷重複,有些前面已經提出來的東西,後面可以選擇用代名詞代替,才不會有拖拖拉拉的感覺噢!

    Source(s): me and myself
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  • 1 decade ago

    001, Well,.....

    I said *that I didn't know where her candy (candies? or just one candy?) and cookies *were. Because I *was worried *at once if I told her the truth, she would (might) hurt me.

    p.s. "hurt" here is better to use "punish".

    2009-05-03 02:02:08 補充:

    Making the sentence neat:

    I said that I didn't know where her candies and cookies were. Because I was worried at once if I told her the truth, she might punish me.

    2009-05-03 02:07:28 補充:

    Making the sentenc neat:

    I said that I didn't know where her candies and cookies were. Because I was worried at once if I told her the truth, she might punish me.

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  • 1 decade ago

    When I was young,I told a lie to my sister.沒必要特別用完成式,感覺有點照中文直接翻譯的

    One day,I ate her candy and cookies without her permission.以上沒問題

    When she found her candy and cookies (disappeared),she (asked) me angrily.單字拼錯+時式錯誤

    "(Did) you see my food?"因為東西已經不見了,用過去式

    I said I didn't know where her candy and cookies are.I worried once I told her the truth,she would hurt me.以上沒問題

    I thought knew that who ate her food,but she never said anything,just standing away and looking at me in anger.這句前半段不懂是什麼意思,打出中文會比較好...

    Soon after,I went out and (bought) the cookies for her.應該是出去"買"吧

    I put (them) on her desk,and wrote a note with "sorry" on it.代名詞用複數代替cookies,原句with "sorry"應該是把"對不起"當成工具來寫,改了之後變成紙上寫sorry

    Source(s): 自己
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