Opinions on an Open Marriage?

My wife and I have been together for over a year now and we both love each other very much, and we've been talking on a off about an open marriage for a while. She doesn't do well emotionally by herself and I am currently on a deployment, would now be a good time to try this, or does it seem like it would be too one sided? Any advice appreciated!!!

21 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    I wouldn't do this while you are separated from each other. She won't have any time with you to counteract becoming too emotionally involved with the other person(s).

    Just write erotic emails, use web-cam, and have phone sex. Get creative and make it hot! Her friends and family should be a source of emotional support during this time. As well, aren't there groups for military wives whose husbands are deployed? She should get involved with one of these and go to regular meetings.

    It's awesome that you guys are being pro-active about how to meet both of your needs during this time. I don't think open marriage is the way to go though.

    My very best to you both, and thank you, sincerely, for all you are doing to keep my family safe.

  • 1 decade ago

    There are literally thousands of military wives who somehow manage to be faithful to their men while they are deployed.

    I understand that she may be lonely and needy, but having an affair (call it having an open marriage, but when your wife becomes emotionally and physically attached to another man, that's called an affair!) is not the answer.

    Sounds like she needs to busy herself...maybe she can go back to school, get a hobby, read, join a gym, walk the dog, whatever, but you being deployed is not a reason to look around for another man!

    If you guys decided to this, don't think you are going to come home once your deployment is over and that everything will be ok and you will back to normal. If she doesn't leave you for the new guy while you are deployed, she will once you get back and she has to do your laundry and clean up after you.


  • Amber
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    An open marriage is not a good idea at all. Especially with u being abroad. She could fall emotionally involved with someone. And who would want their spouse having sex with another person????? I don't get that at all. Not only can it be dangerous, but do u have no emotion? Open sex marriages is a cop out, u both should be single if u want that type of lifestyle.

  • 1 decade ago

    Just like people say there is nothing wrong with marriage just the people in them. Same thing applies with open marriage. I don't think this is a good idea simply because your wife is needy and will probably cling to someone else. Using sex to fill an emotional need is not a good idea especially with you being nowhere around. I would say try it out if this were only about sex, but it's not.

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  • T.
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Personally, I have never seen an open marriage work for the long term... Too much jealousy & Too much distrust! If you want to try it, do it when you get home. Allowing your wife to shop or play while you are away will have your mind reeling with questions of where she is, what she is doing, & with who... Later on, if you bring children into your lives (or if you already have children) they will not understand your lifestyle. It can back fire on you in ways you never imagined... So, you have to ask yourself, do you throw caution to the wind for a "moment" of fun or do you hang tight & do the best you can as a couple while you are so far away from home...????

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You are either married or you are not; if your wife already does not do well emotionally she will def not do well emotionally knowing you are having relations with another woman. Decide whether or not you want to be married or single and play the filed then go from there. No such thing as an "open" marriage.

  • 1 decade ago


    my husband is in the military and i would never have married him if i couldn't deal with his deployments and what not.

    that's not fair for her to start this poor pitty me when you are fighting for our country.

    of course she is going to be a little lonely. anyone would. she can go to a sex store. there are a million dildos an vibe raters. there plenty of options other than her going and doing some other dude.

    and if you aren't sure of it and are just wanting to fallow threw because you want her to be happy you are nuts dude!

    and if doesn't do well alone emotionally then that means she would cling to someone else emotionally and what would she need you for anymore right?

    you need to think about this a little more!

    Source(s): proud & faithful armywife
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sex creates a bond between people. Why be married if you don't respect your spouse enough to be faithful? It would be better to not be married instead of breaking your marriage vows. It shows that you don't value promises or have integrity.

    What if your wife becomes pregnant with another man's baby or you get another woman pregnant? You must not mind the thought of having the father of your wife's baby around or paying child support.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What's most likely to happen now is that your wife will fall in love with someone else.

    Open marriages aren't that good for the emotionally needy, just the opposite. They're good for people who are self-sustaining and non-jealous.

    Source(s): open marriage for 20 yrs.
  • 1 decade ago

    I would not do this at all. If she is bad emotionally, she will just be worse. Besides that, if you allow her to become involved with someone while you are away, that person will meet her emotional needs where you are not and she will fall in love with him and leave you.

    Open marriages are for those who really have no respect for their spouses or themselves.

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