What's the Ideal Age Gap Between Kids?

What do you think is the ideal age gap between children? Do you think it's better to have them close in age or spaced a few years? Tell me the pros and cons, in your opinion.

129 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    I think it all depends on the mother and your financial situation and such. Because when you have kids a few years apart it's less work, not too much money at once and your older child will be able to help you more when their sibling is younger and help them.

    Also, you would have special occasions too close together.

    ex: baptism, communion, confirmation (catholics), graduations, prom. & the cost of all that can be quite large.

    If you have children of the same sex you can use hand-me-downs which save money as well.

    & My mom always told me that having her kids 3 years apart was great. I have an older sister and younger brother, but she was able to learn along the way and see what mistakes she made and change them.

    She said that she would have been too upset if we were all just a year apart because her kids would be all leaving to college/university at the same part and it's already hard enough as it is to have one go.

    On the other hand, if you're children are closer in age you wouldn't have to go through the repetition of all the events I listed earlier, the hormonal teenage stage etc etc.

    They would all/both leave the house around the same time but again, it's up to the mother..

    hope I helped :)

  • 1 decade ago

    Two years is probably an ideal age gap. My brother and I are 4 years apart (it was only supposed to be 2, but my parents had to try for a year before finally getting pregnant with him).

    I think it was hard on both of us because he hated having to wait 4 years to do the things I got to do first. And when I was younger I couldn't go some places without bringing him along.

    We did play together, but once I reached 10 or 11 the age difference became more of a problem from then on. We are close now, but didn't have a great relationship until I was out of high school.

    Our age gap probably would have been easier if we were both the same sex. But it is a good experience having a brother because all my friends were girls.

    Source(s): I'm 23 and my brother is 19.
  • 1 decade ago

    Well, my brother is seven years older than I am and we always got along great.

    I think it's better that way because the children are at different stages of their life, so when interacting with each other they'd react differently.

    We lived in a neighbourhood with very few children, so as a result me and my brother stuck together a little more.

    This, of course, can go both ways. It can either bring siblings together, or put them further apart. It depends mostly on what environment you live in.

    Being at a different stage in life, my brother could always help me out with my problems.

    But that's just me. A large age gap (though I wouldn't go more than 7) can make or break a relation between siblings.

    But I guess if you want to be on the safe side, 2 years is about right.

  • 2 years apart is the ideal age..

    once there is 3 years the green eyed monster rears it's head. The first child is not as receptive, when 4 years pass there is extreme animosity to watch for.

    I am one of 8 children, 2 years between the first 4 .. 4 years between the next and 3 years between the last 3.. I have observed other families, and my own two were 3yrs apart, I would not reccommend trying to maintain that space.

    Bear in mind that no two children are alike there is not fast hard rule, however I base my information on actual evidence.

    Kids can be a handful anyway you gap them.

    Good Luck with your family planning

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well it depends on your age and when you start having kids. Frankly I think it's ideal to have them all close together so that in about 20 years time they will all be flying the coup together to (or so we hope!)

    Mine are 3 years apart and that's worked out okay for us. Seems the roughest times are behind us now that the youngest doesn't need total supervision and we can come up for air.

    Pros...well they are all pretty close and get along. Cons, well you lose about 10 years of your life (and I mean lose...where those years went I dont know they were a blur) it was rough going, the nursing, the finances, all of it. We're not at university yet but I'm hoping that somehow all that works out too.

    More importantly you should ask about MOM and DAD'S age when having the kids. That should have a bearing on how many you have and how well you can keep up with them. Again though there are pros and cons with that too.

    If you stop to worry about all these factors you'd never have kids, but it does pay to plan for them and be prepared. It's rough and you want to give them the best opportunities that you can...and that goes for yourself too.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have 4 kids -- the 1st 2 or 18 months apart and then we waited 3 yrs and the next 2 are 19 months apart. So, for the most part, I was changing diapers for almost 10 yrs with about a 3 month break :)

    I like the closeness in age which allows them to more easily play together. However, it's harder to give each individual attention when they were very little and demanded so much attention. It's easier now that they are older.

    I think whichever will work in each family is the ideal age gap.

  • minou
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    We have three children, a daughter who's 14, and two sons who are 11 and 9. They were quite a hand full when the baby was born since the oldest wasn't 5 yet. After I had my daughter, my father passed away when she was 1 1/2, then I had a son and another son and my mother passed away suddenly when my baby was less than 4 months. It's been hectic to say the least since I have two siblings but they're both sick and my husband's family lives far away. We made it and now it feels like a vacation even though we never, ever stop. At least they're old enough to do most things by themselves. We were blessed to have them in that order since I enjoy spending time with my daughter and although there's a difference of two years between the two boys, they're like twins and are always together so they never get bored. I wouldn't change anything, I like the fact that we finished the diaper changing and the terrible 2's, 3's and 4's within a few years. It's not for everybody however. My aunt and uncle had two sons within three years and when those boys were 10 and 7, they had two more sons within 3 years. They always said it was like raising two families but it was more convenient for them. The two eldest are close and the two youngest are close but they all love each other. I know a woman who had three, one every eight years because she always wanted a baby in the house. It really depends on if you prefer to do all the same kind of work and activities at once or if you like a variety. I wasn't supposed to have children so they will always be our miracles. We took them when they came.

  • I have four kids. The first two are 13 months apart, then I have a 2.5 year gap between two and three, then the last two are 14 months apart. For me I like the closer gaps. When they were really little, it was a little hard mostly just taking them anywhere and having to constantly hold two babies instead of one for the first month or two. Now that they are a bit older they play together so well and are interested in the same things. The two and a half year gap was hard when I had a newborn too, she was old enough to be a bit jealous and act out to get attention but again that was only the first month. I think it just depends on you and your husband and what will work best for you. I love having four under 6 years. Another year and I will have no more diapers, everyone can put their own shoes and coats on. I don't think I would of wanted to deal with all of the baby stuff for ten years straight :)

    Source(s): mom of 4 ages 6, 5, 3 and 22 months
  • 1 decade ago

    I am two years older than my brother, and I was always the type of kid to be solitary, I never wanted a little brother or sister, so it was almost as if my mother had two only children because I would never play with my brother, who was desperate for attention even when he was not a baby. Then she had another kid ten years later, and she is the worst kid ever! (But it mainly only seems that way because we are so much older than her). Also, if the sibling that is born second is not of the same gender, they won't bond as well. (I have some step sisters who were born two or three years apart and they are like best friends, and are always telling me how they don't like boys and well, they are only little kids, so if one of them were a boy, I don't think they would be getting along as well). Lastly, if the kid doesn't seem bored all the time and wanting to play with other kids, then you should either have twins or don't have another kid, because the new baby will probably not get much attention from the sibling; maybe at first, but later on, not so much. But I really don't know, I'm not a mom, it's just my experience being the child who had to live with a two-year apart sibling and a ten-year apart sibling. (And a couple of step sisters on the side)! ;P

  • 1 decade ago

    My sister and I were 4 years and I found it frustrating and still do at this day. We have always been so far in age that we never got to cick ya know? I know one day we will be able to have things in common but it will still be a few years before that comes. My son is 3 and we have no siblings on the way, I am frustrated because I don't want such a big gap between him and his siblings, on a positive note though we are in the process of adopting an 11 month old little boy so our boys will have a good gap. Hope this helps!

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