- garlic2010Lv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Unhappiness filled the greater part of my childhood because of the lack of love and care from my family. When I was very young, I was neglected and scolded by my parent, who always said I was the redundant one. In fact, I really felt I was redundant. I have an elder brother and an elder sister. In the eighties, Hong Kong government advocated "two-children family". I was the third child in the family and my birth was not planned. This "redundancy" feeling became the curse of my life. I felt inferior and antagonistic towards society. Even at an early age, I sensed that there was no one who would love me and understand me. Deep in the heart, however, I had a very strong desire to be loved.
My grow-up background has nurtured in me a rebellious character. I remembered when I was in Primary six, I was suspended from school three times for fighting with classmates and using foul languages against my teachers. The third suspension was a permanent one, meaning that I was expelled from school. My mother knelt before the principal, begging her to allow me to stay in the school one last time. I believed it was the first time I felt my mother's love and care for me. Not only did her kneeling and begging bring me back to school, it corrected my hostility to my family. From that time on, I was determined to be a good boy in the eyes of my parent. In fact, I have been working towards this end.
Unfortunately, wishes and facts do not go hand in hand. Form 5 was the darkest year of my life. I did very poorly in HKCEE and I split with my girl friend. Worse still, my father was discovered having an affair. There were only my parent and myself on the day my father's affair was blown open. I witnessed my father beating up my mother out of shame and anger. Then he left us angrily. This was a scene I would never forget in my life. My mother was broken-hearted and she embraced me and cried loudly.
2009-04-17 06:58:02 補充：
My father never came back since then. I gradually lost my confidence in this family, even to the extent that I felt disgusted at it.
2009-04-17 06:59:17 補充：
During that time, I hanged out using some false pretense and wandered around with friends. I also picked up bad habits like smoking, drinking and smoking marijuana. I did not want to go home and face all that had happened. I had convinced myself I was a total loser.
2009-04-17 07:00:10 補充：
There was one evening when I came home at 2am, tired and drunk. I went to the bathroom. Suddenly, a strong feeling of sadness filled my heart. A voice was echoing in me, "Is this my life?" I was thinking about this question while I was bathing. At last, I could not help it and burst out crying.
2009-04-17 07:00:38 補充：
I cried so much that I almost collapsed. At that instance, I felt like ending my life. But at the same moment, the words from one of my classmates surfaced in my mind. "No matter what kind of person you are, Jesus loves you."
2009-04-17 07:00:47 補充：
I came out of the bathroom. I wanted to seek the answer to this question, "What kind of love is Jesus' love?" I opened the Bible that I only touched in the Bible lesson and started reading from the first page.
2009-04-17 07:03:08 補充：
For the next seven nights I read the Bible throughout the night. When I was tired, I had a nap and then continued. I was deeply attracted by the Bible and I wanted to find from it the meaning of life. The next morning, I went to school.
2009-04-17 07:03:31 補充：
I told the classmate who had told me about Jesus' love that I wanted to believe in Jesus. There was a moment of silence. Suddenly she cried. Then she said to me, "For the last seven days, another Christian and I have been fasting and praying for you."
2009-04-17 07:04:08 補充：
I cried too after hearing this. This was my strongest feeling of being loved I ever experienced in my life. She fast and prayed for a person who was a nobody to her. What is more, at that moment I was fully convinced that it was no coincidence. It was Jesus himself calling me and comforting me.
2009-04-17 07:04:24 補充：
It was this experience that empowered me to become a preacher of God's word so that more people might come to know Jesus. The love I have experienced is unconditional. Jesus brings hope to the despair and makes the losers stand on their own feet.
2009-04-17 07:04:31 補充：
Now, my mother is a Christian like me. We have very intimate relations. Our home, that was once unlovely, is today filled with love not ever experienced. This is nothing but a miracle.