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Can someone please help, I'm having a bit of trouble in my story?

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*A guy called Jeremy stays with a grown up guy called Alezander and Alezander's son, Tyler. They really love each other but htey're all guys so I wanna try to make it sound ...show more
Update : wow, how useful? *rolls eyes* don't answer unless you can say ...show more
Update 2: im not posting it on here! its not copyrighted!
Update 3: i do have a story and i know it well! I'm just asking about minor ...show more
Update 4: wow thats great holly hood how I really like it but ummmm Jeremy is sort ...show more
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  • ? answered 6 years ago
It seems to me as though you are writing a story, when you don't yet have a story...? The plot is the most basic outline is it not, you want to describe your characters, but have no idea who they are or why they are the way they are?

"don't answer unless you can say something helpful" implies that you only want to hear what YOU WANT to hear.

Sometimes the things we really do not want to hear, is actually the best criticism we can get, and if you really want to be a writer, you should keep that in mind.

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watever and im calling you a name in my head that i wont post on y!a. People like you are exactly what's needed to ruin my day.
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  • St.Darling answered 6 years ago
    - Their love is: devotion, a bond, kinship, affinity, binding, companionship.

    - Limit it to something such as a certain emotional time (When he is angry, or grieving, or feels love); When he feels threatened personally or for people he cares about; He has magic but does not know how to harness it properly and use it to its full extent or correctly; or Decide what he can do i.e Only 1 or 2 things.
    It gets annoying when a character has just limitless power, so create the characteristics wisely.

    - Look up ancient words for Hell (or other afterlife terms), such as Sheol or Gehenna (Hebrew), Tartarus/tartaros (Greek), Anaon (Europe). Theres heaps more, so find some that fit the style of your writing.

    - Main characters are the most important, so I'd have up to about 5 or so. Other characters don't need as much of a limit but try to individualize them if they will reoccur. Don't use similar names or too many long/strange/confusing names either.

    - I'm not too sure what the curse is, but they could find out by reactions from others, such as being ignored or having certain people see things about them (a bit 6th Sense though), or some person/group is hunting them because of it to try and eradicate the curse, or one/all of them have blackouts and/or have visions, but I like your idea of seeing the grave.

    Hope some part of this helps :) Good luck with your writing.
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  • ? answered 6 years ago
    * Use the word "brotherly" to describe their love for each other.

    * Make his spells go wrong from time to time? This will add some comic relief to your story as well.

    * Honestly? Japanese names are overused and boring. Go with something like "Nether" or "Abyss".

    * I'd say 3-4 "main" characters is alright as long as you swap between them regularly.

    * Hmm, maybe Tyler and Jeremy find books and tomes on curses in Alezander's private quarters and confront him with them? I don't know..

    Good luck!
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  • 30xxx answered 6 years ago
    - Make a love interest for one of them?
    -MAybe magic overuse could lead to death, or some grave illness.
    - ok, love japansee stuff, use Tenjoku.
    - There's no maximum, but obviously, you won't really do something crazy like 15 characters. I think 5 would be way too confusing, so around 3 or 4 is the maximum.
    -um ,sorry. You lost me.
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  • Holly hood and Vine answered 6 years ago
    Jeremy lost his wife a year ago and has no family. He got kicked out of his house because he lost his job and is living on the street when he begins to pray for help on a bench in front of a church when Alezander, who works for the church hears him praying and offers him shelter until he gets back on his feet. Jeremy then begins to have these reocurring dreams of his wife in a cemetary. She is pointing at something but Jeremy can never see what it is. Everytime he wakes up from his dream his hands feel like there on fire and he has to put them in ice. He goes to the doctor and they cant figure out what is wrong with him and one day he has to put his hands in ice for hours. One night he wakes up to find his hands on fire but he feels no pain. Just bewilderment and astonishment. He confides in Alezander who is actually a demon and has been waiting for an angel to fall from the heavens ( Jeremy ) and thats all I got
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  • Persistent Lunatic answered 6 years ago
    You can't write anything without having done proper research.

    Read other books in the same genre, read, read, read.

    Search for places on google, read up on magic. Find other stories like your own, learn from famous writers

    Books aren't instant!
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  • Sithrules answered 6 years ago
    great name for hell. :)

    they could like be really good friends since they were little and are like with each other like all the time

    About less than 20 characters. Maybe another twenty minor.
    good story.
    Answer my story question:

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  • shanekeavy answered 6 years ago
    it would be good luv if you post ypur script here. so we could really COMMENT.
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  • Can someone please help, I'm having a bit of trouble in my story?
    *A guy called Jeremy stays with a grown up guy called Alezander and Alezander's son, Tyler. They really love each other but htey're all guys so I wanna try to make it sound not gay, any advice?

    *Jeremy has magic but I'm trying to make limitations but it's magic, how can I?

    * I want to name a certain palce something. The place is like hell, so far I came up with Tenjoku which means hell in japanese, anything else?

    *Is there a certain limit to how many characters you can have before the story becomes confusing?

    *They go challenge a demon in hell to cure them of the curse but how can I explain how they found out they had the curse *Alezander already knows, Tyler and Jeremy don't* so far I came up with that they visit a graveyard and they find Alezander's grave when it really is Alezander's phantom's grave *that's part of the curse* I think that's kinda stupid so what are other suggestions?
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