I've been compelled - please critique/read/enjoy/hate?

**Three years ago I saw a sculpture in a local museum. A question led me to ponder it again today. I was inspired by it and have been wanting to write about it since I saw it. Today I was compelled. Don't know if it will hurt or help the poem, but a picture of the sculpture is at the bottom.** She embarked... show more **Three years ago I saw a sculpture in a local museum. A question led me to ponder it again today. I was inspired by it and have been wanting to write about it since I saw it. Today I was compelled. Don't know if it will hurt or help the poem, but a picture of the sculpture is at the bottom.**

She embarked
on an ocean journey
thousands of miles
from her home
of - not a home.
Ventured - defenseless
into a dangerous sea.
Underwater, ability to breathe
lost - became inessential.
Just speed
just to get there
somewhere.

She threw off the confines of mankind.
Schools of fish swarmed
around her naked body
as she astutely became one
of the formerly foreign creatures.
Mastered taking oxygen
from the water,
learned hidden enemies in the coral reefs
befriended lions of water,
turtles with gills,
men-of-rays.

Swimming, floating, coasting
with every drift
forgetting her destination
and settling where ebbs and tides
left her.

One doomed day
the cognizance of her
humanity
grabbed a hold of her neck
strangled recognition
back into her.

The sea - which once encouraged -
ate her.
Devoured her.
Corpus delicti
left at the bottom
to decay like a shipwrecked victim.


http://www.carolcohen.com/graphics/cc_swimmer.jpg
Update: Yes, it's a draft of a poem - I post them here often to get input so I can edit them later. Thanks for your comment. I do believe it ends rather abruptly ... I'm going to work on that.
Thanks!
10 answers 10