how do you know when the love in your marriage is gone and your just staying together for security reasons?

been together 17 years only married the last three years but theres no romance but alot of fighting back and forth tired of fighting

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    sometimes marriage can go a little south but you can always bring it back and make things good again..it depends on both people..if they both want the marriage to be good..or if they don't care anymore ..it takes two people to make it a good one..if you feel like the romance is gone..then try to bring it back ...its never too late..and if there's a lot of fighting going on back and forth..what are the fights about? things that are important..or little trivial things that are nothing? I know that sometimes things are hard in marriage..maybe financially..maybe problems with children..family...jobs..etc. but if you stick together and try your hardest to create a home..and work on it daily...because it is a full time job..then you can make it work..if you don't want to make it work..and are ready to move on..then that's your choice..but I would try to fix it before you let it go..so you don't have any regrets. I don't know what your problems are in your marriage..but I do think any marriage can be a happy one again..but someone has to start the whole thing and it can be you..at least try?

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  • 1 decade ago

    So call a truce. I couldn't be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. There has to be romance and security and both parties wanting to keep that going. The first thing one misses is that feeling of being with that person that knew you better than anyone else. The second thing they miss is that comfortable feeling of silence. Then it all hits, everything at once, especially when you actually attempt to be with someone else. I say lay your cards out on the table. Both of you need to think about what makes you happy and how much of that happiness is because of the other. We all only have this 1 life, why spend it miserable?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Only you know if your love is gone in your marriage you know because you feel it when you look at your partner you just dont feel the same. I believe there's no such thing as a perfect marriage and relationship. My advice to you would be to talk to your spouse let him know whats on your mind and try TRY to work things out. If you still got that little bit of hope left in your marriage I advice you to do it other wise you will open a door that believe me you dont want to go through. Now when you and your spouse fight relax take a deep breath if you are angry stop talking to him and walk away or go to the next room. Think about why your mad? Is it worth it? Is it worth to explode and go crazy? Only you know this....try it and good luck

    Gail Girl

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't know, I haven't been with anyone that long. But you probably shouldn't underestimate the importance of security nor overestimate the importance of fighting. I'd get some counseling, first and see if that helped communication.

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  • 3 years ago

    After seven years, what gets you waiting. you have suggested no longer something approximately babies. in case you wait till you're the two 40 the possibilities of babies are narrow and extremely costly. If SHE could have a toddler all of us might think of you are the grandfather. you would be 60 whilst he graduates from intense college. If all of us waited for the main appropriate time the international might have ended a till now. i grew to become into born in the midst of the great melancholy. My father labored section time for his brother making use of a inventory truck. mom labored for a dry cleanser for one greenback a week and outfits no longer picked up after thirty days. He owned a green Indian motorbike. They lived together with her father. i be attentive to few women that desire to marry, might wait seven years. 3 years is relating to the same old. you have given no reason, in straight forward terms excuses. in case you desire to return and forth you will possibly want her to pass. My father and mom offered no longer something on credit and appeared to help all our kin. Do you no longer want babies. She has wasted seven years on you. you may turn her unfastened. she will then locate somebody to be happy with.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I refuse to fight!

    We can talk/discuss,

    but yelling & cussing are out!

    That's "why I have a X", it was like some

    ritual foreplay to her!

    Passion decreases with time, but should never leave totally!

    try some counseling, before quitting, but do something!!

    What a "waste of 2 life's" to live and die in misery!

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  • 1 decade ago

    You will know when you no longer miss the other person when you're apart from each other.

    You will find that spending them with someone else (friends, coworkers..etc) is a lot fun than spending time with your spouse.

    Annoyed to see each other, even though you don't spend that much time together.

    No longer laugh around that person.

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  • reda s
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You will know. When the joy and excitement are gone there is no need to be together.

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  • lina
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    when you can't share anything together.....but I think you guys should take break, book some holidays together, you just might be tired of every day life

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  • 1 decade ago

    maybe you should try couseling before calling it quick

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