Anonymous

Black Women & Exotification/Objectification?

Hey everyone, so I was wondering if anyone else has noticed the subtle exotification/objectification that sometimes can exist in interracial relationships, specifically if the black woman is considered "exotic" (ie-her nationality, I'm Ethiopian for example) or any time they happen to see a dark-skinned, "pretty" black woman (the reason I put "pretty" in quotes is because of the idea many have that dark skinned women aren't beautiful, we are though!) I've had instances where non-black men don't want to date me long-term, they just want to have sex with me. I don't dress provocatively so I can't understand why? What are your thoughts & why do SOME men happen to do this?

Update:

@Humor: I didn't say light skin was better than dark skin, I said dark skinned females who are pretty are objectified more than the light ones in my humble opinion. At the end of the day, we're all black.

17 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm sure some men might do this, but not all. My husband isn't black so that kind of squashes the theory that non-black men just want to "try us out." Some are like this, of course, but you have this happening all over the place. But even before I met my husband and I was dating, it was I who broke it off, not them.

    My husband loves black women and he has always vocalized that so I know to a strong degree, that was one of the reasons he approached me. I can't say if that's good or bad, but it worked out either way in the end because we are both in love and have a beautiful child.

    Typically, the thing you're speaking of tends to happen with younger men. Younger men, are still trying to figure themselves out and, while they may find us attractive, they aren't confident enough to date us out of fear of what their peers/family may think, but they will treat us as a booty call type of thing, and among their peers, this is more acceptable. And, we all know that a lot of young men, in general, just want to get in a woman's pants, regardless of race.

    I think older men (around 30 and over) already know what they want and who they are and are less likely to feel they have to please others or keep up appearances.

    And not all young guys are dogs in heat, let me state. Just keep bettering yourself and being positive and live your life and the right guy will come soon enough.

  • Matrix
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Excellent question Tamara. Women who are considered "exotic" or rare do have a tendency to be objectified by men and other women. That's why I have such a huge problem with using the term exotic in the first place. It suggests that other people are just normal; Somehow not beautiful enough.

    That's why you have the white guy married to the white woman, but he secretly has the Asian fetish and sneaks out to massage parlors; Living out geisha fantasies.

    Then you have the black guy married to the black woman, but he has a lust in his heart for non-black Latinas. That dude is hanging around looking for young mamis, while his wife sits at home and wonders where she is.

    I think it all comes down to taboos and restrictions placed upon the person early in life. A man can see a woman as being beautiful, but if he has grown up to believe that that woman is off limits due to race or ethnicity, that is when curiosity and the urge to do what is "wrong" kicks in. It becomes a game to get the rare, "exotic" catch. The woman becomes an object or prey. Not good enough to be with or marry, but definitely fit enough to slump around with.

    Source(s): Women are guilty of perpetuating that "exotic" crap too. I hate what that word implies. Just my opinion.
  • Jen
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    The exotification/ objectification is not subtle on this site! Every day somebody comes on here talking about "exotic" ethnic mixes, implying that breeds of people can be compared like dogs.

    If you think a man is interested in you because you seem exotic, you should not give him two minutes of your time.

  • Lola
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I don't think it's always "exotification". I've dated men of every color and as you can see I am not light.

    I think it depends on education also, alot of times when black women are portrayed negatively, they are shown as dark-skinned, loud, ignorant, uneducated, not well traveled, not accomplished etc etc...and I think sometimes this surprises and amazes some men when dark-skinned women do not fit that mold, and some guys NO MATTER your shade or race want a booty call and not long term.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I've experienced this phenomenon/curiosity/desire for the "exotic other," in my life. I think it's often the case of "forbidden fruit," "taboo," and giving in to stereotypes about ethnic groups, i.e, all Black men have large penises, etc.

    If and when I discover that I am solely one's "science project or experimentation," I cut the association off. Don't have time to educate or entertain. LOL!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I dno about other men, but when it comes to dark skinned gurlz..i wanna date you, wine you n dine you, show you a good time, n just treat you like the beautiful princesses you are ;)

  • 1 decade ago

    i did'nt quite understand your question,but all o my black sistas are beautiful and sexy you should'nt have to dress provocatively to caught any men black or non black,lots of men again will toy with just long enough to sleep you and that put the good fellows at risk of not get his woman just of some lowlife dude played her

  • 1 decade ago

    Tamara same thing is what's happening in my life. Men want me in their bed but I'm not interested. I still can't get a decent guy. But I met one last Saturday at a party I don't know when I'll see him again. He was awesome!! he's Indian and he liked me :) *blush*

  • 1 decade ago

    Because some men are pigs and want nothing more from any woman than a bump and go.

  • 1 decade ago

    Black women? Try Asian, Russian, Latina, Native American, every "foreign" person you can think of. I'm not saying this isn't true for black women, especially the ones you describe, but some misogynistic people have this tendency to view certain women as "exotic" and to think of them as "adding to their collection" or whatever. I think its just an issue of boredome. It's something new and therefore something exciting.

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