I don't care what culture you are from or what religion you believe in, women were not placed on this earth to please males. Her health should be way more important than her appearance. If she truly is over weight or obese, then try asking yourself why this has happened. Is it a medical problem such as thyroid cancer, is it genetics, is it an emotional issue in which she feels she needs food to calm her self down and gain a sense of control? Talk about these things with your wife. BE CAREFUL... many societies have put an immense amount of pressure on women to be very thin, you need to be extremely sensitive with this subject while talking to your wife (and other women as well). DO NOT compare her to any other women! Every-body was created differently.
If indeed it is a medical problem, you, your wife and her doctor should go over the terms of the medical disorder and learn what can be done to help her. On the other hand, it could be an emotional issue. Many women and men use food like a drug. They use it to control their emotions. For some people binging and overeating are like meth addicts using meth. At that very moment when people are using their addiction, these emotions are numbed. Yes, numbed, they are not cured. They use it to cure the imbalance in their emotion and to control the way they feel. Many people use addictions in hopes of trying to control sadness, anger, anxiety, depression ect. Maybe YOU are causing her to feel unhappy with herself or depressed. Maybe something else in her life is causing her to feel this way. This is something that you can not figure out on your own. If you want to be a good husband, you need to sit down and talk to her to discuss why she feels this way. Both of you need to be completely honest with each other. You may even realize that you could be contributing to her feeling this way, which means you could be contributing to her weight gain.
The first thing that you need to do is stop nagging at her for her weight. Like I said before, if she truly is overweight or obese, there is a reason for this. Talk to her and check with a doctor (if one is available) to understand the issues that lead to the weight gain. Remember that beauty comes in many different shapes, colors and personality.
-My experience with my eating disorders
-The St. Cloud Hostpital Women and Childrens Specialty Center
-The Park Nicollet Methodist Hospital Eating Disorder Institute
· 1 decade ago