Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 教育與參考考試 · 1 decade ago

急-幫改英文自傳 贈20點

麻煩幫我看一下我的英文自傳有哪裡需要修正

很急 是為了備審 謝謝!!  

My name is Jennifer Huang. I am 17 years old, studying in ****High School. I grow up at a very happy middle family. My mother is a real estate agent. What she always tells me is the truth that the person deals with affairs and interpersonal get along with of importance . I have been taught to be independent since childhood.

  During my studies, I have joined the band music club and participated in many brass band contests.At grade 10 of time attend the school holds of English song contest,and took second prize.

  As to my personality, I am optimistic, cheery, and humorous. I really enjoyed participating in school activities. I not only made many friends, but also gained many different valuable experiences.

  My favorite subject is English because English is a common language in the world and learning English can increase my international competition ability. Learning the second language is worth challenging, and I like to challenge myself.

  Besides English, I also have a wide range of hobbies. I love reading, writing. I have my active side as well; I enjoy playing trombone, traveling, and swimming. I believe we must strike a balance between school work and leisure time.

  It's been said, “Nothing is impossible to a willing heart” Therefore, I am always ready to do anythings to all want to work hard to do. The successful secret doesn't lie in academic degree or IQ but lies in spirit attitude and passionate index number !

2 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    我慢慢幫你改的…你的文法有些不太對

    建議你問學校老師

    My name is Jennifer Huang. I am 17 years old, studying at****High School. I was born in a well-being family. . (My mother is a real estate agent.我不太懂real放這裡的意思…我認為可以不用放) She always teach me the importance of interpersonal intelligence. Under her education, I develop correct value of judgment, independence, hardworking, and responsibility. During my studies, I have joined the band music club and participated in many brass band contests. When I was grade 10, I attended the contest of English songs that held in our school. After practicing hard everyday, I won the second prize.   

    As to my personality, I am optimistic, cheery, and humorous. I really enjoy participating in school activities. I not only made many friends, but also gained many different valuable experiences.

      My favorite subject is English because English is a common language in the world and learning English can increase my international competition ability. Learning the second language is a big challenge. But I am willing to take up challenges no matter what frustration or trouble I meet.  

    (閱讀跟寫作跟英文沒關係吧…建議你分成靜跟動 )

    I have a wide range of hobbies. I love reading and writing. Besides, I am also an active girl ! I enjoy playing trombone, traveling, and swimming. I believe we must strike a balance between school work and leisure time.

      It's been said, “Nothing is impossible to a willing heart” Therefore, (I am always ready to do anything to all want to work hard to do.這句我不懂…不知道怎麼改) The successful secret doesn't lie in academic degree or IQ but lies in spirit attitude and passionate index number !

    大致上是這樣 你還是要給專業的人看過較好!

    加油

  • vity
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    My name is Jennifer Huang .I am 17 years old and studying in ****High School. I grow up with happier families and common economic condition. My mother is served in a real estate . She always told me that the impotant thing is people need to deal with some affairs and interpersonal by herself/himself . I have been taught to be independent since childhood.

      During my studying at school, I have joined the band music club and participated in many brass band contests.At grade 10 , I was attend to English song contest of our school,and took the second rank of competite.

      As to my personality, I am usually optimistic, cheery, and humorous. I really enjoyed participating in school activities. It's not only makes my many friends, but also gained many different valuable experiences in my life.

      My favorite subject is English because English is a common language in the world and learning English can increase my international competition ability. I like to challenge myself and learning the second language is worth it .

      Besides English, other of my hobbies is widen. I love reading, writing. otherside for active is that playing trombone, traveling, and swimming. I believe that we must strike a balance between school lectures and leisure time.

      It's been said,"Nothing is impossible to a willing heart." Therefore, I am always ready to do anything all I want to work hard for it. The successful secret is that don't lie in academic degree or IQ but lies in spirit attitude and passionate index!

    後面看不太董

    為什麼 心要 說謊

    悶燒 ??_____不太會翻

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