Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 1 decade ago

Beloved fundies: If the Rapture happened, and you saw me floating up to where you were on the cloud. . .?

Would you throw something heavy on me or would you just try to deal with the fact that you have to put up with my dumb questions for the rest of eternity?

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    A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, l have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

    "What do they say?" the priest inquired.

    "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

    "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but l have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and l will put them in with my two male parrots who l taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to worship."

    "Thank you!" the woman responded. So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.

    The lady puts her female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?"

    One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the bibles away. Our prayers have been answered!"

    _()_

  • 1 decade ago

    Luke 15:7 " I tell you, in the same way there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need to repent."

    So I'm not a fundie and I don't believe in the Rapture, but I can't see how anyone would be upset at the news that a fellow sinner had escaped damnation.

  • 1 decade ago

    If I saw you floating in an upward direction, then I'd be delighted in the secure knowledge that everything that crawleth upon the earth is going there too. See, He wasn't such a bad guy after all. I knew it! Your questions aren't dumb, they're just framed that way.

  • Not all fundamental Christians believe in the Rapture. Matter of fact, most don't.

    I'd be too busy pondering how I was going to be able to breathe at such a high elevation. We could exchange stupid questions for all of eternity if you wish.

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  • 4 years ago

    sure will, It is predicted that when the rapture happens the gas within our bodies will increase making us much lighter than air allowing us to be drawn up to heaven. Unfortunately for those who take beano previous to the rapture you are all f*cked. because you will get stuck on earth and suffer though the horrors discribed in Revelations.

  • 1 decade ago

    If I was on the ground and saw you floating, I would try to hold you down. You don't want to go there, they take away your individuality.

    Besides, the world needs to keep all the hot women it can.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie Fundie

    Losasha has me blocked!

    If you go, then I get to go too, Phoenix!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ha! I'd love to see the expressions on their faces. It would be even better if you were floating up to heaven and they were left on earth.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'd probably be helping you get up there, Edible. You know the Bologna Pony Express is the only way for people like you to travel up to heaven!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm not a fundy, so I'd be glad I was below you.

    I mean, you'd be wearing a skirt, right?

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