12 year old daughter's "interesting" writing?
My 12 year old daughter has been spending a lot of her time writing on her computer lately, and I think that's great, yet every time I ask her what she's writing about she practically jumps on her computer and screams stuff about how it's private and tells me to get out of her room. At first, I gave her the privacy she asked for, but then I started to get little worried that she may not have actually been writing, and doing something she didn't think I would approve of. Well, a few days ago, my 15 year old son, whom I never had these problems with because all he has ever wanted to do is sleep, comes yelling down the stairs with paper in his hand and shows it to me. It was some "yaoi" (what he called it) thing that he said Athena (my daughter) wrote. It was very sexual and not that I have anything against it, but it was about a gay couple. I have taught my children to be open-minded toward all kinds of people so I wasn't too surprised that it was about gay people, what I was surprised about was the fact she knew so much about sexual intercourse. Of course I punished Aaron for going into Athena's room and going through her things, but I'm wondering if I should confront Athena or just ignore everything. Or should I do something else? Is this natural? Thanks for your answers! I really appreciate it!
I really do see a lot of myself in her, and I love the fact that she's so open-minded, I just don't know if this means that she is just interested in sex, or that she wants to have sex. That's what worries me.
:) Yes, I used fake names. No worries.
- Spooky1Lv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
I would be very concerned and after reading other answers here - I would be very, very worried as to what she has seen/understands and is getting herself into. Can you parental block dodgy computer access?.
Confronting her will be really cringy, but if it shocks her into stopping this age innapropiate interest, then you have no choice.
She should be playing 12 year old games not investigating cartoon porn - if that is what this is.
I hope you used fake names, otherwise EVERYONE she knows could find out as well. I really feel for your awkward situation....
- heleneLv 71 decade ago
If she's writing yaoi at that age, she's already saturated her brain with the stuff, undoubtedly by watching it online. That's how she "knows so much about sexual intercourse", she's been watching the cartoon characters do it. Yaoi is boy-on-boy action, but directed to a young female audience. I've never understood the appeal of cartoon porn, but apparently it's part and parcel of the anime culture. Don't even ask about furries and yiffing, I'm not up to explaining that today.
Before you punish Aaron or confront Athena, you need to do some research and actually watch some of this stuff. Half an hour should do it. It's not something I would want my 12-year-old writing or even watching, but apparently that ship has already sailed.
Edit: It does not mean she wants to have sex, it means she wants to watch the weird little boys with the big eyes have sex with each other. She's a voyeur if anything. I have no idea why this is currently so popular with little girls, except that maybe it feels "safe" to them. As females, they wouldn't be involved in the action at all, even if it were really happening.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It is not a surprise that your daughter knows so much about sex. Kids learn allot from school and internet access. It doesn't mean she is sexually active. She could possibly be struggling with her own sexuality so make sure she knows you are open minded and you will love her no matter what. I would not tell her you even know about the paper. Just throw it away and leave the situation alone. She is not doing anything wrong. Just be glad she is just at home writing about it instead of out doing it. She'll come to you if she needs you.
- AlexLv 41 decade ago
It sounds like you've handled it really well so far, and I don't think further action is really necessary. Take it from a teenager. The fact that she's writing about sex doesn't mean that she wants to have sex, it just means that she's taking notice in a healthy way just like everyone else her age. Also, writing can feel like an extremely private thing for people of any age. I think that bringing it up when you have no reason to believe that she's doing anything harmful could make her feel violated and embarrassed.
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- jencsiLv 61 decade ago
As a writer with issues with sharing I feel the same way she does. Writing is private because it is a way for us to convey our feelings and make our lives seem better than what they are. Maybe she thought you wouldn't approve of her writing like that at that age so she kept it hidden but since you don't have a problem with it tell her so. She will continue to keep her writing private because that is what writers do. I would die if anyone other than my one editor saw my work. Maybe in time she will show you more of her stories but for now just leave it be. As for the sex part, she is growing up and everyone is "curious" around that age, if she is mature enough to write these things then she sounds mature enough to know she is too young for sex.
- 1 decade ago
Yaoi means "gay" in Japanese.
You should talk to your daughter about sex and how she should not be writing such inappropriate things.
But about it being Natural, it is. all girls and boys around her age are thinking about sex and things like that because they're growing up. In my school everyone talks about it (but non of us do it) and jokes about all sorts of things. Schools also teach about it in health class when students get older. In today's world you could flip on a program at 8:00 and be watching it with your six year old son or daughter and a man and woman could be going at it. I wouldn't punish her but just have a talk with her and see if she has any questions.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
you should calmly, approach her. maybe when she gets home from school you should ask her how her day went then if she says the obvious answer like my day was fine, ask her did if she learned something new she'll most likely say no but if she is the talkative type she might be like me i say "my day was fine" then my mom asks what'd you learn and ill say "nothing but blah blah blah" then i go on and on about my day. if she just says nothing or no she didnt learn anything try asking her whats her favorite subject which she will find strange but just ask then if she says writing or reading ask her what types of stories does she like to read and write, she'll hopefully answer with something about people and their life or something in that category then pull out the paper she may blow her top and freak out but calm her down tell her its ok and if she runs to her room, dont let her escape follow her and tell her you just want to help her make her stories better she may find it interesting that you actually approve since she didnt want you reading it in the first place so from there read the story, if she lets you, ask her where she's trying to get with story, then once you guys have been talking about it for a good 10-15min ask her why she wrote it?, what makes her want to write what she does?
i hope everything works out, be sure to never lose your cool, and if she loses her cool, dont directly say i love you and ill always accept you but kind of beat around the bush about it and make her feel accepted. because she may not want you to read it because she might think you'll take it the wrong way or think less of her.Source(s): i love writing once i wrote a story about a girl who loses her mother, and lives with her father and older sister and everything in their lives is pretty great. once my mom read it and freaked she was like "are you trying to say this is how you want you life to be? am i not a good mother?" i lost my father when i was 2 so i dont know what its like to have a father and i just wanted to write about how i see life wouldve been without my mother which i love her very much but i just wanted to express a different view of life. but i never intended on her reading it because i knew she would feel hurt but she did read it and now im not afraid to let her read my other stuff sometime she even helps my fix things or write them. so this might make things between you and your daughter better! =) good luck, if you use my method, would it be ok if you sent me a message telling me how everything went i just want to see how things went but i understand if you dont want to tell me, if you do send me the message to email@example.com
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Being interested in sexuality at 12 is normal, but to know so much about it and to hide it is not. You are her parent and if you dont confront her about this and express your opinions openly with her she will think hiding things from you is the best way to go and thats not good at such a young age. You should do what you think about it, dont be afraid to punish if you feel it's best. And remember if you do punish children never stay mad for long at least i never did. Good luck!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
For reference purposes, all yaoi relates to gay couples, and for some reason it's popular among teen girls.
You should be surprised that your daughter knows about sex. It's a part of life nobody can avoid.
You only need to be concerned if she's looking at yaoi imagery, I'd say. It's kind of gross. Then again, nobody can say that pornographic imagery isn't a bit of a natural part of life.
- stevenerLv 43 years ago
As-Salamu Alakyum ? Subhan'Allah. You daughter must be somewhat enjoyed by using Allah. you need to in no way be frightened of her acts.......... because of the fact that all of them deal interior the guidlines of Islam ?? you need to truly be somewhat happy which you have a daughter like this. Now. approximately her telling you which you need to be on the factor of Allah. She ought to have been informed in some way or type................. exceedingly becuse afterwards you had a dream approximately this?!?! She would have had a dream and replaced into informed which you have been in would desire to capture up with on your Lord. Are you on the factor of Allah? Do you pray? Do you provide zak'aat? Mash'Allah. it somewhat is beutiful.... would Allah provide me daught precisely like her ??? tell me how issues become habeeti :) would Allah instruction manual Us All To The Striaght path ?