I don't' mean this as a cop-out, but you are attracted to the one you love.
When I was a young woman, I was attracted to the tall slim, smooth faced/ bodied, fair haired male- so- I guess, that could be described as effeminate. My thoughts concerning all the masculine physical signals as "ewwwwww!" Hairy, sweaty, more muscles then brains- forget it. I want someone who isn't kissing his biceps and murmuring sweet nothings to his deltoids.
BUT, I met my husband. I actually wrote letters to him for 2 months before we dated.
He was short(shorer then me) stocky, dark, hairy- with a good amount of upper body strength. He was completely opposite from what I was attracted to.
We dated, we were separated by the army (We were both in training together- in the same army training school- and he left to go to Germany. )
At that point forward, I never gave the effeminate type a second look- or any OTHER type a second look. EVERY male- on the TV, in public, that I thought might be attractive was the same body type as my husband- same skin tone, hair color, roughly the same height.
I was watching a national geographic some years later- and they were saying that when you "Bond" with a mate- that mate becomes your ideal- so that after you are attached- they are the BEST one for you.