"Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." Meredith Grey
... let's play a game of whose life sucks worse ... I'll win, I always win ... Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey)
Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean. Pedro Guerrero
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. Dick Cavette
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
"Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain
"If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia." Thomas Szasz
"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." - Buddy Hackett
"No soldier ever won a war by dying for his country.
He won it by making the other soldier die for his country."
- Attributed to General George Patton Jr
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
Boldly Going Nowhere.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
You say physco like it's a bad thing
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
"I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there." - Joel Hodgson
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." - George Carlin
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."
- Douglas Adams.
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."- W.C. Fields
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy, and I keep it in a jar on my desk." - Stephen King
How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand. Emo Philips
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. George Bernard Shaw
If you want loyalty - get a dog. If you want loyalty and attention - get a smart dog.” Grant Fairley
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
That which does not kill me, makes me stranger. — The Joker, Black Knight
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not kicking and screaming, like the passengers in his car.
"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." J.P. Getty.
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window