Read my answer to the similar question posted by the husband. You need to learn you have the right to say yes, no, and to change your mind. You also have the right to say, "This is too rough and is hurting me. Please be gentle." If you can't speak up for yourself then there is a big problem...a problem that is bigger than just sex. First, go ahead and see that counselor. If your husband doesn't support your decision then I'm sorry, you left an abuser to marry a jerk. Did you notice how the husband whose question you answered DID care about his wife and want her to feel safe and happy? That is how a marriage is supposed to be. Also, talk to your doctor about the possibility of taking an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication if you aren't doing so already. The fact that you are worrying about this ahead of time may mean that your nervous system is overtaxed and overanxious and you could use some help calming down and recovering. Finally, you might consider checking into rape crisis therapists in your local community. They are often free and they specialize in healing from rape. The YWCA offers this service in some communities.