Could a TBI cause my son to exhibit mental confusion intermittently and how to stabilize him?
We keep a calm atmosphere but there are times that he cannot tell what's real from fantasy.The traumatic brain injury happened when he was approx.16,he's almost 21 now,has refused medical examination since it's occurrence and it has been only through guess work on our part that we have come to this conclusion.When he started showing the first signs,it was 2 years after his snowmobile accident when he hit the back of his head.He had already turned 18 and as an adult,has been allowed to refuse medical assistance which we've desperately attempted to pursue to no avail.We have been somehow able to confirm in his mind that he needs to stay home with us(mom,dad and 18 yr.old brother) to watch over him as he used to get in trouble with the law whenever he attempted to roam the town where we live.Just keeping him home and his refusal to get medically evaluated has made him so isolated and he has exhibited to us that he's at a loss for his previously normal life in his moments of clarity that come and go like the wind.He sat with me a week ago and was having a moment of clarity when he asked me what his friends names are,where they are and if I could help him find them,proceeded to pick up the phone book and skimmed through the endless pages to no avail and it was obvious to me after about an hour that he no longer knew why he was looking in the phone book at all.I need some suggestions if anyone has a clue how to help him in whatever way you may be able to.This has been so heartbreaking for us all and the authorities have made it clear that he can refuse all services available.Our other Our children,his oldest brother who is 25,sister 24,sister 23 and our youngest son 18.They have been hit very hard by this and at times still resort in their desperation to denial,telling him to stop faking it and grow up,though deep inside,they all know he isn't.I am desperate for any type of suggestions and input.Please Help.
EDIT: He was already declared incompetent but doesn't understand what signing over his medical records means,also approx. the same time his symptoms were in the begining stages,we did tell him he had to leave if he wouldn't get the help suggested,so he left and we didn't hear anything from him again until someone we knew said she had seen him in a 24 hour diner and that he was not sleeping for about a week and a half.I found him there sitting at a booth talking to himself and the police said he wasn't doing anything wrong,he was literally starving and was living off of coffee.He was in a very bad way and could hardly recognise me(mom). It took some coaxing to get him into the vehicle and when I got him home,he ate like a horse,but only if I brought him the food.He was likely starving to death,lterally.He couldn't do much more than eat and sleep for about 6-8 months and was extremely incoherent.The system works against keeping him with his family and we're not putting him through that.
Edit:He was caught driving w/o a license at 15,got his permit and was to show the judge a license by 18,they issued a warrant and after he was released from jail,the judge saw he wasn't all there,sent him out to be diagnosed for competency and after it was found he was incompetent,he was already 18.the judge told me his records are protected by law as he is an adult and he is free to wander the streets if he chooses.I will be filing a guardianship request and it will be 3 months of a lady observing him in our home until she lets us know if we can retain custody of him or if he needs to be placed into a facility,which I've been informed by the TBI network doesn't even take 9/10s the people who need care.I'm in Alaska and the system is deplorable in these matters.No one was appointed as his guardian and he has"rights" keeping us in this loop.I just got a call yesterday though and if I pay $75.00,file the guardianship request,it may be that we have a beginning.I just want the best for him
- Kathryn RLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
If he's been declared incompetent than the authorities are lying to you. He can't refuse help because he's been declared not able to. Maybe you should talk to both a neruo-psychologist/psychiatrists who are trained to deal with brain injured patient unless you get him help you're not helping him by keeping him home. He needs to be in a facility to help him with his brain injury why wasn't rehab suggested after the accident??? You need to get on the phone and find out what facilities are available where you live and get him the help that he needs. There are neuro-psychologist and psychiatrist who work with people with brain injuries and than once you find out what he needs you might be able to get the therapy done at home with occupational therapist and out patient treatment. But if he's been declared competent that you have to go back to when he was little and you made the decision for him that what being incompetent means. If you're not sure what you're allowed to do than GO to an attorney and get some legal advice because what the police are telling you isn't true at least here in NY and I'll bet where you are also. I know as I'm the mother of a developmentally delayed daughter. You need to do some research if you don't know who's his guardian because when he was declared incompetent someone was appointed his guardian that person has a moral and legal responsibility to see that he gets the care that he need no matter what he feels. IF he was 10 he wouldn't have a choice I don't care what age he is if he's incompetent for all purposes it's like he's 10 again and needs someone to make the hard decisions for him.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Tell him if he wants to stay at home he needs to get medical help. Period. If he is incapable of caring for himself then you can go to court and have him declared incompetent in which case you would have guardianship over him and then you would be able to make decisions for him...... Not too many options.
EDIT - If he was declared incompetent that he was assigned a guardian by the court. Whoever was assigned as his guardian has the right to his sign for his medical records and to make any and all decisions for him. See a lawyer and find out who his guardian is. You need to get him help.