what do i do? please help?
this guy made me tell him who i like and it was him. he told me he likes me. this was like a week ago and hes starting to get annoying. im pretty sure hs planning on asking me out tomarrow and ill be a total !@#$% if i turn him down. i dunno what to do.
- TCLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
You sound like a nice and decent young lady. Let’s call the guy in question “Romeo”, OK?
First, you don’t need to go out with Romeo if you don’t want to.
Second, what’s with the “he made me tell him” bit? No one can “make” you do anything. No one can take advantage of you without your permission.
Third, don’t worry about the hurting feelings of a person who doesn’t care about your feelings.
Just tell Romeo “Thanks anyway… this really isn’t a good time for me.”
Romeo sounds like he has a strong personality, so if he starts playing 20 questions and tries to pry more info out of you… simply smile and say “I’m sorry Romeo, but I can’t disclose any information.” Keep repeating that answer for every question.
Since I have your attention now for just this fleeting moment, perhaps a general crash course all about guys, BF's, crushes, dating, love, etc. would be helpful for you to evaluate while thinking about how to handle Romeo.
Boomboom... crushes, dating, and love can be confusing... extremely confusing... for adults as well as young people. That's why it is a good idea not to start dating too early.
It would be advisable for young ladies to not start seriously dating until about age 16 or 17… in my humble opinion. Your parents should say OK and meet the guy first. And stay a virgin (i.e., no premarital sex) until you get married. The decisions that you're making now will have a large effect on how the rest of your life will turn out.
In High School, young guys and young girls can be pretty unpredictable, and change their minds very quickly... for no reason whatsoever. That can lead to hurt feelings and heartache. You and some guy might both agree that you like each other one day, and literally the next day either one of you could call it quits. Just remember that.
Keep in mind that the purpose of dating is generally to determine if a person will make a potentially good future spouse. Therefore, don't ever date someone that you know would not be good for you in the long term.
Don't assume that you will marry your first crush or your first serious BF... it won't happen. The odds are literally 100-to-1 against it. Sorry!
As a decent and trusting young lady, you will need to be aware of a few of the potential hazards of dating. These hazards certainly apply to young people as well as adults. That's also why you need to not start kissing or making out too early with guys (even though you might want to).
Boomboom, here are two major dating hazards for you to consider:
1. There are some guys out there (the smooth players) who will tell a nice girl that he loves her, just to see how far she will let him go with her body. There are guys out there who are ready and willing to use you and your body for their own selfish pleasure... and then leave... breaking your heart in the process, and possibly leaving you pregnant... or with an STD (a nasty disease in your private parts). Hopefully, you will be mature enough when dating to recognize these losers, and say "No".
2. You could meet a genuinely nice and decent guy, and you both really do think that you love each other. After a few weeks or months, you both might be tempted to take off your clothes together. That would be a good way to mess up both of your young lives. It's happened to a lot of nice girls and decent guys out there. Hopefully, you will be mature enough to resist this type of temptation... and the temptation can be very strong.
The best way to avoid getting into trouble from either hazard listed above is for you to never be alone with your guy... anywhere. Not his house, not your house, not a friend's house, or anywhere else. A responsible (and awake) adult should always be nearby.
You should also never attend a party where no adults are present... ever. Nor any events with drugs or alcohol abuse.
Ideally, before you start dating, you need to make a conscious decision to remain a virgin until you are happily married. That means no premarital sex. Having sex too early will make you feel sad, cheap, and make it less special (same thing with kissing in case you do it too early with the wrong guy... but kissing is much less dangerous).
OK, why no premarital sex?
Because having sex without marriage is going outside of the laws of man and God that civilizations on this planet have lived by for thousands of years.
Because there's the unnecessary risk of excessive heartache (any break-up will cause heartache... virgin or not... but heartache will be less if you are still a virgin... that's just the way human brains are wired).
Because there's also the genuine danger of an unwanted Baby... or an STD.
Because your parents would very likely be extremely disappointed if you engaged in premarital sex.
Because your "no sex" rule will pretty much eliminate the players, the losers, the creeps, the clods, and the selfish manipulators.
By refusing to participate in premarital sex, you'll find out pretty quickly if the guy you are dating just wants to get into your pants… or if he truly respects you, your body, your heart, your soul, your feelings, your values… and your family.
Boomboom, just take a look at a random selection of the questions from girls in this category... a significant number of problems here directly involve premarital sex... coupled with immaturity, foolish expectations, and invalid assumptions.
You need to date nice guys who will treat you with dignity and respect while you are having innocent fun together during your youth. Trustworthy guys who would not ask you to do anything inappropriate.
Long term, you need to find a special guy who will be honorable and be very good to you as you grow into a decent young woman. He may not be the hottest-looking guy around, but you will love him just the way he is. He should be a guy who is proud to take you home to meet his parents and his family. A guy that you would be pleased to take home to be introduced to your parents and family. A guy who will ask for your hand in marriage. A guy who is willing to stand together with you in a wedding ceremony before both of your families in church.
You don't want a guy who is not honorable and just wants your body... for a while... and then he would be gone. A problem like that is much more likely to happen if you give away your body without the commitment of marriage.
Keep yourself out of trouble by thinking smart. Don't believe everything a guy tells you... watch him carefully, and evaluate whether or not his words are consistent with his actions. See if he respects you and your values.
Don't be afraid or embarrassed to talk to your parents or your family about dating and boy issues as you are growing up. They know you, love you, and will certainly give you good advice.
You will be really happy when you are older, and you look back over your life... happy that you made the right decisions about finding, dating, and evaluating guys when you were young.
That's pretty much the big picture for you to look at, Boomboom.
Someday, you'll make a lucky guy a fine wife.
Take care, and God bless.
- CharlieSource(s): "Some new thoughts from Charlie's brain... but mostly cut & paste from Charlie's old answers."