Dawn R asked in Society & CultureLanguages · 1 decade ago

Is my paragraph good?

Waiting around like a fly with no wings is not a way to commence bettering my future. Supposing that I get into this class, I will benefit from the learning experience and challenges. I understand how difficult the curricular is, and I am up for any task that may be placed in front of me. Class conduct and getting along with others is, which I am proud to say, not a problem for me. Everything that this class has to offer will improve my life by taking me to a higher level of knowledge and experience. Like Albert Einstein, a physicist, says “The only source of knowledge is experience.”

I need to know Asap!

THANKSS! (:

If the metaphor doesnt make sense what one should i use?

What should i replace commence with??

2 Answers

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  • ChuckW
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Seems good, a few fixes:

    Waiting around like a fly with no wings is not a way to commence bettering my future. Presuming that I get into this class, I will benefit from the learning experience and challenges. I understand how difficult the curriculum is, and I am up for any task that may be placed in front of me. Class conduct and getting along with others is, I am proud to say, not a problem for me. Everything that this class has to offer will improve my life by taking me to a higher level of knowledge and experience. As Albert Einstein once said, “The only source of knowledge is experience.”

    If you wanted to, you could replace commence with "start".

  • 1 decade ago

    Waiting around like a fly without wings is no way to begin my future. Assuming I get into this class, I will benefit from the knowledge and challenges it holds. I understand how difficult the curriculam is but I feel I am up for the task at hand because I understand the importance of this class. There is no worry about my conduct or social skills. Getting along with others is of no problem. Everything this class offers will improve my life by taking me to a higher level of knowledge and experience. Like Albert Einstein said, "The only source of knowledge is experience."

    For the metaphor you could use any thing .. walks..hops...etc

    "like a frog without legs"...a dog without hearing".. a cat without eyes

    a bird without a wing

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