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LGBT: Did you seek out affection?

Hey LGBT I've heard stories of young gay people being desperate for affection doing different things in order to get it.

Things that they usually regret later on.

Did you do anything like that?


My example to this would be when I was young like 12-13 I would surf chat rooms looking to talk to guys sexually. Which I did with ANY guy on there even ones who were a lot older than me.

It was really when I was just discovering who I was.

I feel embarrassed because of it.

18 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think a lot of young people in general tend seek out affection.

    I'm the type of person that need lots of affection and attention

    or else i feel neglected and end up being depressed.

    When i was younger i was in a relationship with someone that was very obsessive and controlling..i thought since that person spent so much time and energy on me that it must mean that he really loved me. I was just content that he was giving me attention.

    It wasn't until he started leaving bruises on me did i start to think that maybe i was mistaking abuse for love.

    He was 17.

    I was barely 14 but i still think i should of been smarter than that.

    But i guess we all have to make mistakes so we can learn from them.

  • Rob R
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Jordy, you did what you had to to find out about where your feelings would take you in life. You had to discover if what you thought about yourself being gay was true and the best way is to talk to other people. I did what you did too and I found out I liked it a lot. I don't think it was wrong as long as all you did was talk to older guys. Lucky for me, I never got into a real relationship with anyone. I learned a lot about myself doing that and I am sure that has helped me feel more accepting of myself. Does that make sense? I don't think you should feel embarrassed, Jordy. Not if it helped in your discovery process. You are awesome and I don't think you should regret your discovery process. I don't regret mine. Good luck to you!

    ~Rob R

  • Russ
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Anyone can feel a lack of affection, gay or straight or whatever.

    It's a very sad situation.

    It usually causes exactly the reaction you describe, where someone

    is so desperate for affection that they will go to almost any lengths to alleviate that desperation.

    Some of the consequences are, indeed, regrettable.

    Fortunately or sadly, I did not.

    Happily, I learned to give and receive affection, but far later in life than I might have wished.

    And it is not just *young* people who can lack for affection.

  • Jack B
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    No, haven't done that. I had never heard of that among young people specifically before; interesting.

    Even though I was already realizing I was gay in middle school, I didn't have much of a sex drive back then. I had friends; that's all that mattered to me. Those were my innocent I also didn't have much desire to be in a relationship.

    And at least you didn't do anything dangerous. I understand the lot of "experimenting" that goes on during one's teenage years.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Dude, nowadays, ALL young people are desperate for affection. Today's youth generation has been raised with a sense of entitlement and a misguided image about the drama of romance.

    All people, especially young people, seek love and fulfillment, but so many of us look for it with such earnest and with such impatience and with such expectation that we do more damage than good. People who live for drama are people who have it so good that they become bored with their lives and need to create intrigue. As Americans, we take for granted how good even the poorest of us have it.

    Statistically speaking, LGBT youth are more likely to commit suicide, as hatred and bigotry towards LGBT people is sadly still an issue in the world. And being a teenager is difficult -- for everyone. But if you are a target for hatred based on nothing more than who you are, you have it harder. I think that LGBT youth may also be more inclined to participate in less-than-ideal situations in pursuit of acceptance and affection, but I think it's due in large part to the numbers: there are simply less relationship opportunities and less positive role models (in healthy relationships) for LGBT youth than there are for straight youth.

    As for regret, as long as you grow and learn from an experience, you cannot afford to regret it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmm yeah. Not really like attention or anything just i happen to be looking for that right person and when i do it makes it seem as im a bit desperate. But what i like sexually doesn't come around everyday so. if i was into skinny guys or girls, then i wouldn't be trying this right now :/


  • Ron
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Yes! when i was reading this question it sounded just like me cause i would even talk to older guys or anyone and i would talk sex with them i was even in a relationship for about 6 months with a guy older than me,and i just came out and he sweet talked me and i fell for him hard and got my heart broken,and i was just finding out who i was,and then i met another guy that fell for me but i didn't really want him that much and we dated for 2 years but it was miserable for me,and i am dating someone now that i really get along with and we have a lot more in common than the other guys i went out with a plus he's my age so that is better for me cause i don't want to like settle for anything less than what i want.

  • 1 decade ago

    lol lets see well not that kind of affection but i used to make myself cry and throw up because i didn't think anyone loved me or cared about me and i thought if i did something that made me look hurt they would all run and start loving me. When i was smaller i needed to feel love and i never got it.

    Even now since i told my parents i am gay they don't love me as much as they did i think. no matter how many times they tell me they do :P

    but i have friends who love me now

  • 1 decade ago

    I did, I pretended to be a girl once to chat with a hot guy.

    I'm disgusted by me.

    I still long for affection,

    I wouldn't mind some from you.

    cause I know I wouldn't regret it


  • 1 decade ago

    we'll most do its about a fear of being rejected being young and gay is tough you have school,peer pressure, drugs, the scared to death feeling your parents will find out. personally i have no experience but my best friend is transgendered and he would do it to anything walking as a friend i tried to break him out of this habit after a sexually transmitted disease he finally realized he had people who cared enough about him to stop his reckless behavior giving oral to strange guys having sex with old men in alleys etc he regrets it now and is seeking counseling hope i helped {jizzy}

    Source(s): a best friend of a transgendered boy and a daughter of a lovely gay mother
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