You're in luck -- here's a long list of them:
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of $h+t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the ****-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12 You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a ****.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door..........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
45. If you have something to say raise your hand... then place it over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
50. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
51. If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.
52.Do you take Karate? I was wondering because you are kicking.
53.Is that your head or did your neck vomit?
54.You're so nasty, I called you on the phone and got an ear infection.
People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from them.
I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.
I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.
I know I'm talking like an idiot. I have to, other wise you wouldn't understand me.
Most of us live and learn, you just live.
I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't remind me!
I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in ten years, I'll make sure I'm not there.
You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
You remind me of the ocean - you make me sick.
You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.
You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.
You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.
don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet its hard to pronounce
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid
I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth
Sarcasm is one more service I offer
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality
Too many freaks, not enough circuses
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the