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How can I regain trust in my g/f?

Awhile back my g/f hurt my feelings very badly. We were sitting in a parking lot and she noticed this cute girl come out of the store. She watched her,turning her head to watch,till this girl got to her car,then back into the store. I just sat there feeling like an ugly idiot. Then a couple months later we decided to bring a third party into our bedroom. We had a very close friend of mine,also a lesbian like we are,join us.I instantly regretted it and wished we had never done it. I felt cheap and like I had cheated on my g/f. She however,thought she was attracted to my friend and told me she wanted me to leave our house for a few days so she could think over the situation. That again hurt me very much. Then she decided (after I had cried an entire day) that she was only attracted to my friend as a friend & had been wrong about her feelings before. I was still hurt & suspicious about how she really felt about my friend. She's much prettier than I am. Now, more recently I caught her telling yet another "friend" (a female) that she loved her & was thinking about breaking up with me. I don't know how to trust my g/f again because I keep getting hurt. I am very suspicious of what she does on her computer while I'm away. My dad is sick & I have to be gone a week at a time pretty often. Should I just forget her wanderring eyes and everything else or should I be afraid ? I love her very much but I'm tired of being hurt. Do you think I am suspicious for no reason? Help me out...Thanks

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    i have a lot of trust issues with people. a lot.

    but when it comes to just looking at other people theres really nothing to do about that. we're all human and we all like to look ;-)

    but telling other people that she loves them and that she wants to leave you is a bad sign.

    i say you should talk to her about the doubts that you are having and tell her that you are having trust issues and point out why. ask to make a myspace or whatever together so you can both read what the other one is saying to other people.

    if she freaks and becomes overly defensive, you know somethings up.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Suspicious for no reason??

    You have every reason to be suspicious.

    But I hate to say I think you've brought some of it on yourself. Inviting another party into the bedroom wasn't a good idea but at least you have recognised the error of your ways there. I don't know of a couple who have survived happily after having a threesome because there is always that cheating element. But it sounds to me like you have put it behind you and wouldn't do it again, whereas to me she sounds open to being with other women.

    There isn't anything wrong with her looking at other girls but it is the way she does it which is hurting you. It sounds as though she isn't appreciating what she has got already - you. Surely having a nice personality is better than being beautiful?

    If she was telling another woman she loved her and was thinking about breaking it off with you then I would expect the worst. She's obviously not that into you & is thinking about getting with someone else (or cheating on you with this other woman).

    Is it really worth the pain and hurt? You have cried before and I'm not sure whether it's worth it for this girl. Go and find someone who will love you for you, not leaving you feeling as though you're not good enough.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I don't know. I mean, I know every relationship is different but if my girlfriend said or did any of these things to me I would not be able to trust her at all. If your gf is going around telling people that she is thinking about breaking up with you, then she clearly doesn't take this relationship very seriously. It's not a game and she is treating it like one (in my opinion). She clearly isn't sure about your relationship and you don't deserve that. Maybe take a "break" - see if some time away can't get her thinking about how good she really has it. If that doesn't work I'd move on and find someone who has more respect for you and being in a relationship with you.

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  • Don
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Once trust has been broken...there is no way for it to ever be fully restored...and, even if you 'think' you may trust her again...there will always be that little element of 'doubt'... Reading what you've said, I believe you already knew that. The decision you need to make now is whether you leave her first or wait to be dumped... Personally, I would have never let her back into my heart after the first time... I think the word here is..."Buh-byeee"...and don't look back...

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  • 1 decade ago

    your instincts usually aren't wrong.. it seems as if you and your girl are feeling two different things and all you're getting is hurt. if you don't feel like you can trust her maybe you two should cool it or call it quits. you deserve to be with someone who is for sure that they want you and who doesn't repeatedly do things that obviously hurt you. your dad is sick and the last thing you need is to be worried about what your girl is doing while you are gone. trust your gut. good luck and i wish the best for you and your dad.

    Source(s): past experience
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  • 1 decade ago

    Your in love with someone who keeps hurting you? Ask yourselve that, and see if that alone sounds fair to you. About the third party in the bedroom, that sounds like something your relationship and you was not ready for. You have to have 100% trust in your relationship for that to work!

    Source(s): my experience
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    look love, im shure you have nothing to worry about, its obvious that your mate is having.. second thoughts.. but listen. i have learned in the many relationships iv been in, that NO one relationship is perfect, theres guna be lots of second thoughts, and worrys. but heres what you have to do. you need to tell your gf how you feel. tell her that you really love her, and you dont want to loose her. ask her if she feels that way you do in loving you. ask her if she is happy with your relationship. i have to be honest and frank. if she doesnt love you as much as you love her, then maybe the relationship just isn't guna work. i mean.. breaking up with someone because there is no love.. hurts MUCH less then staying someone when theres no love. i hope this helps..

    -Caleb.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    u cant

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