hell explained by a chemistry student....have you read this? it's funny?

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a

University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The

answer by one student was so "profound" that the

professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,

which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or

endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats

when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is

changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving

into Hell and t he rate at which they are leaving. I

think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets

to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are

leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at

the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a

member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since

there is more than one of these religions and since

people do not belong to more than one religion, we can

project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect

the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in

Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the

volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls

are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate

at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and

pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks

loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and

pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa

during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day

in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account

the fact that I slept with her last night, then number

two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has

frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any

more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only

Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being

which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting

"Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Update:

i recieved this in an email from a friend.

20 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ahhhhhhh, the Golden Oldies of Urban legends...........

    this story has been passed around since cavemen first learned how to chisel words into rock.

    But still amusing, just the same!

    Thanks for sharing the classics, and bringing back the memories!

    Source(s): Seriously though........it DOES remind me of the time, in College, when for a FINAL exam in PHILOSOPHY......I was exepcting like 50 multiple choice questions or something.......and was stunned, when the test papers were handed out, and there was only ONE question. ........ What was Plato's idea of a happy man? Now, since that book was propping up my stereo......and I hadn't read a page of it........I knew this was gonna be DICEY.......... so I proceeded to write this BRILLIANT essay on what >>>I<<< thought a happy man was. It was something like that speech there, about the red haired babe in one of my other classes.........and the time we shared in my shower. It was all about the glistening orbs, and the cosmic meaning of it all. Amused as my professor was though......I still got an F though. but he did tell me I was a hell of a creative writer, and gave me a D for the course.........just for faithfully showing up at least.
    • Login to reply the answers
  • 3 years ago

    Hell Explained

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    I've actually heard it before! Its quite amazing! I would have given him an "A" for that too!

    The one I heard before had a slight variation though. It was that he never slept with Teresa and he deduced from that, that Hell is endothermic. Still this is quite clever!

    • Login to reply the answers
  • bored
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    yes, but with a slight variation.

    i heard that the student never slept with Teresa and therefore, Hell was endothermic. i'm pretty sure it was blown out of proportion, or made up by someone very very bored...

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wow that was very interesting i would have given the paper an A also.

    It is a very neat way to explain hell.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Kayde! This Brilliant; Funny and True. Thank you for posting this on Yahoo. By the way, where have you been?

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    I doubt that he got the only A based off a question that made no sense wtf school was this? If he gets the only A im pretty sure the people coming out of that school will be homeless because his grade wasnt based off of anything they learned in class or any facts lol. He wasnt able to demonstrate any values of chemistry via that bs answer (completey made up)

    Pisses me off if he did lol

    I work me *** off to get the grades I go and I feel like I deserve them I would go to the dean and try and get that pos teacher fired hes totally screwing the class of their education

    • Login to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    More testing and observation is required before a conclusion may be presented.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 4 years ago

    Very interesting.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Delightful answer, the student deserved his "A"

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.