Do men like their children and families?
I see very little evidence, except for the ones who treat them as property and demand time with them and threaten suicide otherwise
What about when the wife and kids are older?
I know guys who were lovely in their 20s and 30s but abandoned the families when the kids became teens and the wives became middle aged
- True Blue BritLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
It can sometimes seem like that - I grew up surrounded by men like this. My own father used to refer to us as "parasites" and no, he wasn't joking.
My first husband also resented his children - they interfered with his social life and they cried too much. He left when my baby son was four months old, leaving me to bring them up on my own.
But .. not all men are like that. Just as all women are not good mothers. We take something away from people when we label them according to their genders. We're all individuals and can choose how we want to behave.
My second husband is the loveliest man, and we've been married for twenty years. He's taught me so much - how to love and how to trust. Most of our friends are similar - good men with values and are devoted to their families.
As women, we really should teach our daughters how to choose their children's fathers. The difficulty comes because it is so easy to have a baby and that's when you grow up fast. But often too late. We've entered the vicious cycle.
And you're right - many marriages do break up when the children are older. I don't know what the answer is.
Except to say that there are lovely men out there - you just have to find them. And believe me when I say it is better to be lonely and single, than unhappily married with children.
- 1 decade ago
Sounds like you are surrounded by men you should not get involved with.... doesnt mean good men arent out there, but you are focused on seeing the worst examples, so that is what you're likely to find.
Any partner that is going to be a successful partner and parent will be mature enough to negotiate thier needs with thier spouse and their children, but they have to A) know what their needs are and b)want to be there,(not there by happenstance or to look good.)
I do believe both men and women need non family time, and not getting that can be the cause of many ugly forms of relationship sabotage to get what they havent learned to ask for. All people need growth and a way to contribute to feel happy, if partners dont feel that is happening in a relationship this can also be a cause for sabotage.
Its usually men afraid of getting old who leave mid-life, but thats a whole nuther question.
- 1 decade ago
No, they are evil monsters who keep their children for a spare food source and their wives as domestic slaves. Like bears, they are godless killing machines.
What the heck, woman? You need to meet more men if you think there is little evidence that men care for their families. Good grief. I know very few men like that - most of the men I know love their wives, love their kids, and take care of them. You seriously need to get out and meet new people. Evidently all the jerks live in your town. lol
- Louise CLv 71 decade ago
Well, my husband and I are both over 50 and he shows no signs of abandoning me for a younger woman as yet. "I couldn't keep up with a younger woman" he always says to me whenever I raise this issue with him "I have enough trouble keeping you in order." And he seems to be very attached to our sons, and I don't think he would want to break up the family.
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- Know It AllLv 71 decade ago
Of course, yes ! If you exclude the exceptions, of course, most of the men I've known in my life put their family (wife and kids) above everything else they had in life.
- gatemanLv 41 decade ago
What an idiotic question!
Why do you think men sacrifice their life working like slaves providing for their family, often in dangerous jobs?
I hope no man ever has anything to do with you!
- LútaLv 61 decade ago
I know my dad doesn't like other people's kids but he loves me. He still loves my mom. All of my uncles love their kids. All of my uncles except one still love their wives. I think it depends on the guy.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I love my kids and |I like them also, even with all their differences. Their mother on the other hand, thats over
- Morbid OneLv 61 decade ago
I'm curious about your Study Group...
Most males I know, myself included, value their families beyond all else...
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Yikes, you need to get some new friends!
Pretty much all the men I know like and love their children and families. There have been a couple of divorces in our circle but no huge animosities.
And please, please don't generalise!