Henry 007 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

Please tell me a funny joke?

I am feeling a bit down, lots of problems and things going on.

I like short jokes, long jokes, mean-spirited jokes, Just make me

happy for a while..

Update:

Absolutely funny, hey guys, thanks for that

3 Answers

Rating
  • Peter
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hello,

    I'm sure you can find tons of jokes online. But as I had loved reading jokes in the Readers Digest, I would recommend this website: http://www.scribd.com/doc/10815/Readers-Digest-Bes...

    Not only is it funny and easy to read, but it is also a good media for learning lots of practical english (in a fun way).

    I would like to share a couple of other jokes here which I think to be funny:

    Because he's a chemist and I'm a personal trainer, my fianc and I don't always agree about what eating healthy means. I prefer foods with less fat and fewer calories. He watches out for chemicals and additives. We were grocery shopping, and I asked him to go get some butter.

    "Which kind," he asked, "cancer or heart attack?"

    http://bbs.netat.net/thread-36479-2-7.html

    Another joke here is, in a way, a mean one:

    THE LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK

    Today is my daughters 18th birthday.......

    I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment.

    Month after month, year after year, those payments!

    I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your Mama's house; You tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, then I want you to come back here and tell me the expression she had on her face."

    So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was so anxious to hear what the ex had to say and how she took it.

    As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Well now .. what did she have to say?"

    "She told me to tell you that you ain't my Daddy."

    http://www.2bone.com/humr/h11/index.shtml

    Some jokes are not easy to understand at first, but as you try to unfold the hidden meanings and wordplays, they may become amusing.

    If you have problems understanding the punchline of certain jokes. Please do have it discussed here and let everyone enjoy it, too.

    Cheer up!

    2009-03-04 15:59:56 補充:

    or you may search for comic strips online, for example:

    Garfield http://www.arcamax.com/garfield

    Beetle Bailey http://www.arcamax.com/beetlebailey

    and many other comic strips at www.arcamax.com

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, I laughed on this joke...

    before the joke...just want to wish you the best....and...you know

    what? everything will be fine....it has to be....

    A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners..

    The asian lady says " Come again!!"

    The blonde says "No, it's toothpaste this time...."

    ^&*%^&$^%***(0(

    Source(s): 住在美國的我
  • 1 decade ago

    If only life could be like a computer! 

    If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, press on pause key.

    Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the volume.

    To add/remove someone in your life, click settings in control panel.

    To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

    When you lose your car keys, click on find.

    "Help" with the chores is just a click away.

    Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.

    And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to YOU...

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